Tag Archives: Work

May 19, Monday: Gratitude

1. Sun
Glorious sun- a weekend of heat and sun always puts me in a happier mood and I am so glad I got some!

2. Passport
A passport to travel, a passport to see the world, a passport to re-discover old places, a passport to live life 🙂

3. Work
So good to have work and a job to do all I need to do to make it big in life 🙂


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Jan 6 Monday- Gratitude

Nothing like a good sleep to get your mood in the upbeat form and you ready to take on the world.

Healthy Eats
I just spent a mini fortune on food that’s good for me- I am looking forward to tucking into it and getting healthier!
Prunes, plums, dates, apricots, figs, apples, bananas and some sugarfree/ gluten free/ dairy free bars, coconut water- now to incorporate it into everyday eating!

Idleness, not that I have had a chance to experience it in ages, is irritating and so the counterpart would be busy but doing work sounds better and is genuinely more fun!

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Nov 18 Monday: Gratitude

1. Friends
Been a while since I just thanked my lucky stars for having the friends and family I do. They rock!

2. Work
Lucky to have the work I do and the options I do. Not everyone is as lucky and I am indeed grateful.

3. Hope
If we gave up on hope, where would we be?!

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Sep 16 Monday: Gratitude

1. Work
I am VERY lucky to have the options to do what I do and the way I do it. More importantly, I am exceptionally lucky I enjoy it too!

2. Logic
Last week I was tested on logic a few times and each time, I came trumps so its all good! I definitely think from the heart but follow it with practical logic too.

3. Warm weather
It’s gone really cold last couple of days! And I am missing the sun, the warmth and the dry already.


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As if I said these words myself, hehe

So very true.

work for travel

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Got to love this Venn diagram- it is awesome- SO lucky I have almost always worked in the Hooray zone or recognised when the Hooray zone doesn’t remain such so I can make the necessary changes…

It’s all VERY exciting- thinking of changing my path currently for a period of 2 years… let’s see! All in all, tiresome, stressed, busy but fun and exciting times ahead- bring it on 🙂

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Today I got a tarot card that said some beautiful words:

And followed soon after, I saw this pic on a site…

Additionally, I am feeling nervous, excited and stressed due to a meeting I have tomorrow which has suddenly changed format and it could make my dreams come true, sooner than I expected. If this is a sign, it’s a pretty optimistic one- fingers crossed!

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Dreams for 2012

I have been meaning to write down all I want to achieve this year: here are some images!

1. The BIGGEST decision of my life potentially but one that makes me excited, tingly and happy 🙂

2. I know I look good but there is something about feeling good- inside and out. I have ignored yoga and my body for ages but this year, I want it to change. It is not just about turning heads when I walk in about doing a double-take everytime I catch a glimpse of me in the mirror! Too vain, perhaps but it’s what I want for me.

3. My blog name says it, my very ethos is about it and I really miss it. I cannot wait to go on a new adventure. I am hoping I don’t have too long a wait.

4. What’s the point of owning a beautiful car like mine if I don’t take it for an adventure- bring on summer, hood down, foot on accelerator and just a weekend of giggles, photography, chats, fun- boyfriend optional 😉 Well, to make it that bit more special, it would be nice to go with him!

5. Goes back to #1. When I start earning, I can start saving. It’s a vicious circle.

6. With the changes coming my way, with the roller-coaster I have been through in the past few months, with the decisions I have made in the past few years, I have forgotten myself- my values have remained, I have adapted but I have not always been honest to myself- this year, I find myself again.

Honestly, I am not even sure what this means but it sounds AWESOME and so I am somehow gonna define it this year for myself and make it happen!

And when I find myself, define magic for myself, I can be who I want to be- again. It is time to reinvent myself.

7. Have fun, live life, be happy

So what if this is my last moment on earth- as I have said, I would rather die doing something fun and memorable than sick and bored…

Part of finding myself is to accept myself too!

This means finding a different type of strength, maybe not so unladylike though:

AND confidence- the confidence to be me!

And now that I have begun the process of finding inner peace, I hope to always

8. While finding my new strengths, I shouldn’t forget the old ones in my life:

I am SO SO SO SO SO lucky to have the people I have in my life- thank you! If I am cranky, if I am tired, if I am insufferable over the next while- forgive me and keep giving me the strength!

And why wait to find a mistletoe… 😉

A hard call- I do know this is always tough to judge and very intangible but I really hope to achieve it the best I can:

9. Something small, something materialistic and something that makes me smile: I am going to own my own Loubotins by the end of 2012!

10. A full bar to me symbolises friends coming in, good times, the ability to afford the finer things and a sign of laughs and memories that have been shared and that will be created 🙂

And no point of drink, without some food, esp exotic food- nom nom nom!

11. I also want to read more, write more, see more plays, have more laughs, explore more and just let the year be the year of awesome!

2012: the year of living, the year of dreams and the year of living my dreams! 🙂



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So in 2012, one should…

I think this should be the philosophy one lives by- about balancing! I suspect the workaholic in me needs a real break and though I hope to work less, I hope to achieve a lot more through the dreams, through better planning and through smart working!

Roll on 2012. SOOOOO excited!


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“That man’s stress is this woman’s burden.”- I took this quote off another blog.

I so agree with the sentiment this mistress is feeling, sometimes I feel like the other woman in Ryan’s life.

For the past 3 days, I have wanted to give him the card I bought for him, I left it on his bed one day and then removed it- I don’t have the heart to give up something that is definitely likely to worry him a little till I know he can take it- he is SO tired and stressed that my heart goes out to him. Candy made a very valid point- she think I shouldn’t be a cowardly b!tch (my words, not hers) and should give it to him in his hand. It’s the least I should do. There was a part of me that wanted to leave it for him to find it on Saturday when he is alone in the house but I suppose I can wait till Monday night or Tuesday evening.

Adding to the list that bugs me, the most is potentially how he lives in the Urgent+Important box whereas I plan to stay out of that box so when something does crop I can work with it and neither of us is really willing to adapt. He is constantly expecting everyone to adapt to him and not willing to give and it has lead to many a frustrated work colleague.

I cannot, cannot, CANNOT remain a punching bag forever. I need an out.

On a different  note, I suppose the reason I choose my life the way it is, even if unhappily, is summed by these words:

At the end of the day, I care. I care about the organisation and the people who make it.


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6 in 6 days!

This is a NEW record for me- I have always been head-hunted, I have always had opportunities come my way but in the last 6 working days, I have had 6 job offers!

Almost all of them have been very enticing, very exciting, very tempting. I have been thinking about it alot and decided to try and identify what is it that I love so much about what’s on offer and what I have so here goes:

On Offer:

  • An opportunity to make my own team- in most cases, I will have 1 or 2 old people but need to bring in other talent as I deem fit
  • Money- not just the money but the expense account, the options to spend and get the lifestyle I need
  • Travel- all offer me an expat package of X trips to India (and the ones not in Ireland are even willing to thrown in a trip to Ireland annually!!!!!)
  • Intelligence- the roles are tough but the people I will be with will have intelligence
  • Assistant- I need one. Simple as. No doubts.
  • Structures- I usually dislike these but I do see the need to have certain structures, reviews, documents etc to udnerstand what’s happening
  • Not living in the Urgent land- The idea of pre-planning is something I embrace
  • Company- I am not a lone wolf
  • Support- Interesting networking opportunities, interesting people to meet etc
  • Did I mention BRAINS? And I don’t mean the ones zombies look for!
  • Financial responsibility- not budgets etc but when who gets paid etc- the actual process

What I love here:

  • Freedom- I come and go as I please. This does me feel guilty and I track to do about 80 hours of work a week- double of what I am technically supposed to
  • Opportunity- there is so much growth possible, there are so many things we can do but we need to plan and get the right team together and I am finding it tough to do that- when the coach you have hired doesn’t think one has the right team, you know you are in trouble
  • Responsibility- I have an awesome scope- I can do what I want, the lack of some structure (for lack of better word) upsets me to some extent but the rest is pretty darn awesome
  • Living my dream- I can actually see the dream life in my head unfold if certain things go as I imagine they should/ will
  • Emotional attachment- this is MY baby- Ryan may have done the initial hardwork and all- he carried the baby for the gestation period but when it was time to change the nappies, wake up to feed it and do all the dirty work, I was in there with the sleeves rolled up. He may not admit it, but I had a huge part of the decision and achievements wracked up by this organisaton even before I came in full-time. Just when the baby is beginning to start walking, it would be wrong of me to not be there to make sure the gates are closed, the stairs padded yet show the baby the path it needs to go down ‘cos watch out world, we are gonna rule the roost and beyond!
  • Pride- No one and I mean no one else can do what I am doing in the organisation- not someone new, not Ryan, not any of the current team, no one- a lot of factors work towards this realisation. Not saying I am not replaceable- just as easily can be but no one can else get the organisation to perform the way I can, partly cos of the visions I have and the way Ryan and I think and are linked.

However, it’s weird when I was writing the good, a lot of the negative points came up too and I feel, I just do, I need to pen it down:

  • I am unhappy- unhappy not ‘cos I am doing something I don’t want to but ‘cos I care and I am doing something I want yet I have a sh!t team- I change any words I might have said in the past- wipe them all out and let’s start afresh. The organisation has grown, they have been asked to grow and they are not growing the way they need to- I am beginning to wonder if they have the capacity to?!
  • I have NO support- as a friend or as a colleague- if I open my mouth- I am apparently being too chatty, being too whingy, being too sulky or being too judgemental- f*ck you all. And this article helps me realise even more that I am not going completely insane.
  • Almost every time I have an idea, it’s dismissed and then fed back to me a few days later- sometimes I feel its a power play but most of the time, I think it takes that long for him to assimilate the idea and by the time he does, he forgets where it came from and then wonders why I have no original thoughts
  • I feel guilty if I am not working every single moment
  • I can’t afford the life I want- I came here for 3 months and am still here 13 months later and have nothing to show for it
  • I can’t implement the changes I want, I can’t base the office in a place that makes sense (tacit knowledge/ hub/ proximity/ safety), I can’t make decisions
  • I don’t have certain powers I want- I will always remain ready to fly till I have that security and till I know I have it cos I have earned it- Crystal, Ryan, Spartacus telling me they will look after me no matter what is not the security I can live with
  • I HATE, HATE, HATE the official title I have- it’s missing the most important aspect about my role- the aspect I love and the very aspect I do least of
  • I really dislike not being a team in the office and the lack of communication we have- telepathy has it’s limitations
  • I don’t like the fact that Ryan’s loyalty doesn’t allow me to hold people as accountable as I would like
  • I don’t like that Ryan feels he is above everything and be excluded form procedures
  • I don’t like the fact that I seem to be constantly picking up Ryan’s sh!t and he doesn’t realise that- how long does toilet training really take?!
  • Lack of intelligence- I am tired of talking to myself, I crave human interaction.
  • Lack of meeting new people- I get ideas, perspectives, thoughts from interactions and not from reading or lectures- at the end of the day, a coffee is so much more fruitful
  • I feel I am constantly banging my head against a wall
  • I know I am constantly banging my head against a wall
  • My ‘team’ can’t perform and I am constantly doing things to make their targets achievable without anyone else knowing to project them in a good light but how long can I run myself this thin?

Sorry about this peeps, what started off as a WOW moment ended up as a rant- if I told my mother today that she may have an unemployed daughter on her hands today, things must be bad.

I wrote Ryan a card asking for time and undivided attention and then I chickened and removed it ‘cos of the day he has had- see, I protect him constantly- the best friend, the mate, the love in me can’t hurt him even for his own good yet a part of me is hurting and crying for attention- sitting in the same room for 2 hours with 5 mins of chatting helped me feel it’s all ok even if it’s a false sense of security- at the end of the day, I want simple things and happiness and contentment- I want my dreams to come true, I want to have the relationship I deserve, I want to lead the organisation to heights it deserves to go to, I want to support my mother in a lifestyle she deserves, I want to look after my aunts and uncles, I want to be able to go on the holidays I need to just survive- I am considering a sun day for Gawd’s sake, I want to be able to buy a magazine without wondering if I can afford it if that’s what I choose to do, I want to laugh, I want to smile, I want to be the person I always imagined I will be, I want to be able to buy the €1000 pair of shoes I am drooling over ‘cos I will appreciate them and want them, I want to be able to get the handbag I actually need and not settle for something sub-par cos it’s in my budget, I want the house I planned years ago.

I don’t have high expectations of me, do I? 😉

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To stay or not to stay…

I am at that junction in life (AGAIN) where I am confused, disillusioned, cynical, depressed, peeved off and f*cking confused (yes, I said confused twice, deliberately).

I have NO idea where my life is going, I have NO clue what to do to get what I want, I have NO real love (yes, my family and friends rock but they are not always there for me and those that are, I feel terrible about using them so much constantly that I now feel alone), I have NO assets to speak of (big boobs don’t count!!!!), I have NO way of talking to my bestest friend cos he has NO time for me or anything else on this planet bar himself, I have NO plans about what’s happening next and I have NOTHING in my life going my way- AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

And no, it’s not hormonal.

Wish I knew what to decide, how to decide, I know what I want but I have NO clue how to get it all. I am tired, tired of trying to play games, tired of carrying the weight I carry on my shoulders, tired of being taken for granted, tired of being told I am useless, tired of having a happy mask on my face, tired of life. There are times I genuinely wish I was weak enough to give it all up and throw the towel in.

Baby steps- should I stay in my current job? should I stay in Dublin? should I stay in Ireland?

I got an awesome job offer- what a package, the benefits, the salary and all came up to almost half a million in a fairly decent currency- I could get the car, the house, the clothes, the gadgets, the lifestyle I wanted in a flash and I am pretty certain it would help in many other ways but the role and location didn’t excite me enough- turning it down was one of the most interesting conversations in my life.

Nothing is making me happy at the moment. Nothing! I feel like an utter failure.

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Guilty EVEN when proven innocent!!

The other day, I had to make my annual pilgrimage to get my visa sorted. I find that a simple 20 min task to get both immigration and visa sorted spans over 2 days and is bl**dy painful.

Simple changes could really make things SO efficient:

  • Have one window do both the tasks- so what if they are 2 different departments?!
  • Get people to book appointments so they can do other things and don’t spend hours sitting there
  • Provide desks for those who want to work on the move so the productivity element can carry on
  • Why have someone stand there to hand out tickets? If they are checking the documents anyway, maybe they can figure a quicker way of processing them too?
  • Why not let someone be efficient by giving them a ticket while they go get a postal order- saves them time and has people out quicker- win-win!
  • Why not accept credit cards and not make people waste money on getting a postal order?
  • Allow the visa and registration to last longer than a year
  • Make the long-term visa quicker to get so people don’t have to do this annually
  • Make it possible to renew online
  • Treat people with respect- if they are in the immigration office, they are either working, married to someone who is working or studying here and therefore, in all instances, they are bringing money into the economy!
  • Maybe have a separate process for the different stamps or priority queues or something
  • And why oh why close the office of the second step so much earlier than the first step- it means, people have to return the next day and therefore, need 2 days away for this bureaucratic sh!te!!

Worst thing is the way the people treat you in there- even if you have all the paperwork, you have everything done right, you are treated with disrespect and piece of sh!t- it’s as if you are guilty despite having been proven innocent and it’s as if you are worse than scum.

Basically, it’s a horrible experience and one I truly dislike, especially since it could be so quick, so efficient, so pleasant for all involved. Is this what I pay my taxes plus the f*cking expensive registration fees for?! I mean, I paid a HUGE amount for a green card, and then I have to pay for registration and finally for a visa- POINTLESS!!!! Do it in one go and charge me an extra 50- the saved time is well worth it or rather, don’t charge SO much every single time.


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What a week!

I need to repeat, WHAT A WEEK!!

The past few days have been just insane. I have had about 10 hours sleep in the last 4 days, not really celebrated Diwali properly- even though Candy, Ryan and Stewie did make a wee bit of a fuss…

Last night, I broached the subject about making some changes in our team and Ryan agreed- phew. I had the sh!ttiest day yesterday and was very willing to just walk away from it all- darn my loyalty and my emotional involvement in this project. Would have happily left them all to make their mistakes and not correct the stuff they were doing wrong. Apparently while I was away, things went mental (I went to run some errands) and one of the girls stopped everyone and said “if we all do what J has said, it makes sense” and when someone mentioned it to me, it made me smile!

Despite everything, I suspect, I will someday, turn up and remember magical moments!

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When the tough snap

…they really snap. And today, I snapped. I haven’t felt as abused, as disrespected, as taken for granted as I did today.

I am beyond help- I broke, I have cried for hours, I have been helped by Curly and Ryan’s mum A LOT but I am very fragile and when I cant do what the right thing is, it hurts. I am making decisions that are not the best decisions knowing that and it doesn’t meet my value system, and certainly not those of the organisation either.

I really, truly wish someone would hold me and just let me cry- Ryan’s mother did and it helped but I was embarrassed especially since she knew how in the wrong he was!

These words just seem to have been written with today in mind for me. Hopefully I will wake up more optimistic tomorrow!

I am SO lucky I have the sense to realise what’s wrong and hopefully I can make the right decisions to curtail as much as I can and contain in as much as I can!

All, wish me luck before I end up saying something to someone that will make me regret it later!!! HAPPY DIWALI all- celebrate, eat sweets, light candles and most of all, be happy!

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And then he…

So much has happened since my last post.

Blondie got married and looked absolutely stunning on her wedding day and radiant since she realised she was going to spend her life with the man she loves. She got me emotional a few times during the day and I just am so totally over the moon for the happy couple. I hope they remain as happy, if not happier! Curly felt a huge stab of jealousy when she saw their happiness and was surprised I didn’t. Somehow it made me realise that I was happy for my friends and was so happy that the lack of love in my own life didn’t even figure! Part of me wonders if its because I am confident that one of these days I will have that sort of all-consuming love and I know it’s round the corner or maybe it’s just cos I am happy as is in my life… either way, I am happy and that’s the bottom line!

However, the very next day, something weird happened- a certain friend of mine and I got together! He declared his undying, unconditional love to me- the second time in about 6 months and it kinda freaked me out. We ended up kissing and it was only ‘cos I didn’t want to do it drunk that I pulled back. This has been playing on my mind A LOT. I really like the guy, he is convinced I am too good for him and I do believe the two of us wll be good together but I want to go into it with both of us being on the same page and with eyes wide open- not a drunken snog leading us to being awkward. The weird thing is he doesn’t remember a thing 😦 I really really really don’t know what to do!

And then, there’s the Rower- a guy I have been seeing for a couple of weeks- a Gemini who might be a ‘S’- scary thought yet someone who makes me very happy and someone I have fun with. In his sleep he once told me “I was very beautiful and I wear such lovely clothes” and even though the words aren’t much, they made me smile ‘cos of the way he said them. He likes me and we are both scared of discussing what will happen next but to some extent, I want to just have fun and go with the flow, especially as I head into the busiest period of work!

Talking of work, I feel I am being asked to make pearls of dirt without being given the condusive conditions- turning coal into diamonds is a long process and not always possible. My team needs a lot of work and its driving me insane! Here’s hoping I manage to get them through the project without losing too much hair… at least there is Halloween to look forward to- here’s to choosing my Halloween costume, the annual feature for October!

Somehow, this year, I am not so sure about partying though- a friend I respected highly passed away very suddenly today and I am still in shock. He had a headache, was diagnosed with leukemia and passed away- all in less than 100 hours- he was in coma for the past few hours. He beat me once at an election and it changed the direction of my life, for better or worse, he shared my idealogies, he knew how to have fun and take risks, he was a lovely person through and through and though if anything, he has reminded me of my friends, the need to keep more in contact, the need to enjoy life, a part of me is too stunted to move. RIP PO, you will be missed.

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My year as a country-bumpkin!

So, it was just over a year ago, I moved away from Dublin to live in rural Ireland. And what a year it has been! I know for a fact country living is NOT for me- at least not yet. I can see it someday but on my terms and in the manner, I choose. This is not it. Being a “Paki in a fancy car” and standing out as a sore thumb is certainly not how I like to be!

When I moved here, I thought it would be fun, a different experience, challenging yet exciting, For the first 3 months, it was exactly that! Then, I went traveling and when I came back, something had changed- things became weirder at work, I stopped having as much fun and it changed- and all for the worse.

As I mark being a year in the current company, I take stock of all that it has been and I am beginning to wonder if I am in the right place or is it matter of not being here at the right time.

Things going in my favour:

  • I enjoy what I do
  • I am good at what I do- meeting the deadlines today in the office are proof of it
  • I have brought experience to this organisation that few others could
  • I am happy with the role I have- I would love to make a few tweaks to it but I think that will happen in the next while, it’s a matter of me being patient
  • I have learnt to lower my own standards and expect lesser from others- cos few are as driven as me
  • I finally got myself a car
  • I know what I am truly worth and even though I know I am being paid a pittance of that, I can see it being worthwhile in the future

Things that p!ss me off:

  • I live in the f*cking middle of nowhere
  • I have NO friends close by- there are 2 girls I really like but I manage them and so it doesn’t count as I can’t just be the true me with them
  • I am unhappy personally
  • When I get into a half decent relationship, the distance completely kills it
  • I am not closer to knowing if I am on the right path for my life- I am so disillusioned right now that I don’t even know where to start again
  • I am away from my friends- I miss Dr F, I miss Tigger, I miss Candy, I miss Winnie, I miss Spartacus, I miss Crystal, I miss Curly, I miss Daddy Long Legs and yes, most of them are all over the world, if I had a few of them near me, it would make life so much easier

When I count all this, the negatives out number the positives and some of the negatives outweigh everything else.

How in the world am I supposed to not cry myself to sleep every other day when I am this unhappy?! Gosh, I can’t wait for the really busy period in the office to start- at least it will exhilarate me and not give me a chance to think and the end of it means moving back to the land of the living.

Today I had an argument in the office- what a way to celebrate moving here for work, eh. What upset me are so many different things that I don’t even know where to start:

  • I stereotyped a group that I have done for years and slagged them- he took offense and lashed back by saying “J hates everyone” in front of another work colleague
  • I was dismissed and something I wanted to say wasn’t heard- I am a effing partner here and I am treated like sh!t at times, we both need other ways to vent our frustrations

Seriously, why in the world do I feel I am caught between a rock and a hard place?! Is there an end to this in sight?

Why oh why do I after having as many friends as I do miss having a true friend in my life. Oh Winnie, I so, so, so wish  you were here with me. Oh Tigger, I so wish you were here too.

How many times can a person hit rock bottom? How much can a person be tried? How much can my will be tested? What do I need to get out of this rut?!

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This is why I am a workaholic!

‎"Are you bored with life? 
Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all 
your heart, live for it, die for it, 
and you will find happiness 
that you had thought could never be yours"
-Dale Carnegie

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Today I realise…

… I have reached a stage in my life where switching off is tough.

My most sacred place of comfort/ forgetting world etc used to be with my family, preferably in my own house with me in the hammock, nice music/ drinks/ food etc and basically, chilling out…. but somehow, now even I visit home, it’s all about work. I wake up to work calls, I sleep to work calls, I dream work and I go out to dinner and try and drum up more work! Life is ALL about work.

Is this what I dreamt of? Is this what will always be? Is this something I want… honestly, I am not too sure, yet for some reason, serenely, I am content. Does that make sense?! Go figure!

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Taking a moment to breathe and take stock

And sometimes, I do think at the turn of a new year, or my birthday or just randomly, I did so today… decided to take a glass of wine, sit in the garden to watch the sun go down and just count my blessings.

And blessings are aplenty-

  • I have a brilliant family- yes, I have had my differences with some but there are so many others who just absolutely rock and are amazing. And they are the ones who make life so much crazier and fun. Yes, I miss having my own sibling to create havoc with but I had my own fair share of fun with all the other mischief my brothers and I got up to, and not to miss the midnight shenanigans with my little sister
  • I must be the luckiest person with the friends I have- from my own mother to the millions of others- Crystal, Spartacus, Ryan, Tigger, Winnie, Dr F, Snoopy, Curly, Daddy long legs to name a few… infact, one of them just said the nicest words to me on Facebook an dmade me cry- happy tears but cry nevertheless
  • I enjoy what I do
  • I almost always manage to achieve all I want to- yes, I am still a bit away from the dream I have in my head but then again, that dream changes goal posts every time I think of it and so the plan has to be tweaked accordingly…. right?

All in all, life rocks and the cherry was when one of my favourite entrepreneurs and a guy I admire loads offered me a pretty cool job with all the trimmings I could want! There is something very pleasurable and upsetting about turning it down- bittersweet!

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Motivation to Work

According to Seth Godin’s blog, there are 8 reasons to work… this remind me of the Hygiene Theory… I have to admit money is a motivating factor for me- there is a minimum that I would work for but the challenge, the satisfaction, the reputation I have and continue to have, the joy of solving an interesting problem, for the impact on the wider community and yes, the appreciation- that acknowledgement and recognition of a job well done are even more important to me.

Being at the top is definitely lonely- I have no one to answer to- no boss, and so even though Ryan does tell me he couldn’t imagine being without me, it’s not the same to real appreciation, to a real understanding of what is it he likes… The other day, we gave everyone their annual bonuses and along with a card highlighting three key areas we thought they were strong in and a core value from the company’s ethos that we thought they imbibed- and so I gave Ryan a similar card because I know it’s lonely on the top and everyone needs that little bit of love and care.

Isn’t it weird that despite all this management science, all this human psychology, all this focus on the soft elements that really make people work we focus on money and security and those elements to keep a person in the fold… I hope as my organisation grows, I don’t lose sight of this and can always retain a small company feel no matter how many employees we have… This is my public promise to myself- I shall do my best to do this for as long as I am in this company…

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Roller-coaster Ride…

…isn’t as twisted/ fast-paced/ busy as my last week was- and this was meant to be my “quiet” week!

The Geek reappeared on the scene and is VERY keen to see me again but nice guy and all he may be- there is one really big issue- he is a terrible kisser and I could potentially overlook most other things (and yes, there are a few other faults) but a bad kisser is something one cannot settle for really… right?

The Chef has gotten cold feet of sorts. To be honest, so have I. We really like each other but don’t know where it’s going, what’s happening or what the story is… and we both are waiting for the other one to make the move.

Anyway, enough with the boys- one thing is for sure, men in the middle of the country are definitely not gonna float my boat- either they are ugly, boring or both so I think my dating life is going to go through a fairly bumpy patch- sigh.

On the other hand, work is keeping me very busy- looking at a few new projects and one of them has taken a twist because the intended supplier wants to come on board as a partner while one of the functioning businesses is going the opposite way where the partner wants out- between those 2 changes at the corporate level and the need to make changes at a smaller level to be effective, it’s a juggle of priorities! At each business level, there are many other things needing attention but I think I need to focus on:

  • Employees! If they can get up to speed with things, it will make my life MUCH easier!
  • Policies- it sets the boundary in which people can be quirky and take the initiative!!

However, judging by the fact I started writing this en route to the Lyrath on Nov 6 and am still musing about all these things, juggling the various thoughts in my head, trying to figure out the best way for people to understand the company vision and yeah, I know this is where I need a workshop where I facilitate the discussion to such a location that I get them reading from the hymn page I already have but even so….

So much to do, so little time… wonder if I am doing something wrong.

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Since I’ve been late the past few weeks…

This time I thought I’d be really quick and get it in at the start of the week, so here go my top 3 of last week:

  • First full week of work since June 2008 completed- and I survived it, kicked ass at it and had a blast
  • Got used to the country life to some extent- ofcourse I miss Dublin- it’s home but moving away has it’s advantages and disadvantages and it’s good to start anew
  • Did not lose my temper at a certain girl I have  no time for, despite numerous occasions where she may have desreved it!

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Is it weird…

That when I am thinking of something, I come across more information, more articles etc about it…

You know how I was on about relationships yesterday, well- here‘s another interesting blog on it! I truly do wonder how does pinky promise translate online indeed… most of my relationships start online these days or are definitely enhanced enhanced online!

Talking of relationships, I met the management on a one-on-one today and it was amazing- 2 of the ladies were absolutely ECSTATIC at the prospect of more work and newer challenges coming their way- the enthusiasm, the fun and the excitement that sparkled in their eyes, radiated off their every pore was so encouraging that it just made my day- just like the shooting star I saw! And I like to believe an element of it was primarily ‘cos I reached out to establish a relationship! Naive, overconfident or just arrogant- not sure which am I or just simply hopeful? 🙂

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Almost gave up on blogging


4 days in and my commitment in waning- and since this is more for me than anything else, is it a wonder I am such a commitment-phobe?

What a day it has been- I have had some amusing moments:

#1: Met a mentor for lunch to discuss career options etc- his opening line to me “J, you need to help me get a job”. So much for me getting him to get me a job!

#2: In team meeting to review a document deliverable that was sent out on Sat- a team member halfway through the discussion, raises his hand- very seriously and says “Shouldn’t we all read this document first?!” [I almost lost my temper completely there!!!]

#3: Friend and I treat ourselves to milkshakes (FULL of icecream and chocolates- they were really good- I recommend them!) after a really long client meeting. On the way back to our office, he turns to me and says “I can’t join you for dinner on Sunday- I am on a diet.” Like seriously dude, you are kidding, right?!

#4: We are organising a night out for everyone in the department and I came across a brilliant deal- reply from a classmate “J is Scottish!” Is there a stereotype I am missing?!!

#5: I looked down at my feet after my evening shower, saw a swollen ankle and decided to not do anything about it- am I becoming SO indifferent to my injuries?! This can’t be healthy, right?

#6: I put my iTunes on random shuffle and the first few songs it blares:

  • Sexy Eyes by Whigfield
  • Don’t talk, just kiss by Right said Fred
  • Gold by Prince/ the symbol

(I didn’t even know I had these songs!)

#7: One of my admirers sent me a mail saying “I hate black heads (and I thought he was referring to closed pore type blackheads, anyway goes to show!) but I really fancy you so could you please die your hair?” Errr… dude, I cannot kill my hair- it’s already dead tissue so I presume you mean dye and did you really ask me this as a way of asking me out. As far as opening lines for dates go, it is an original, I’ll give him that!

Basically, this sums up my day better than anything else! So here are the top 3 things I am thankful for in the past week:

  • My ability to laugh when everything seems to be going wrong
  • Feeling totally desired by SO many men (it’s been a while and I have to admit I am enjoying it)
  • Sleep- gosh, I needed it!

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