Well, this time it wasn’t a dream both of us had but once again I dreamed of the same person as a few days ago!
In this dream, I was out for a run with the help of a physio, with Red and bump into the girl I used to think was my best friend. She started helping me, much to my astonishment and so I asked her ‘why’. And she responded by saying “‘cos she cared”.
It was a sad and poignant feeling- I realised I still care for the two of them, knowing me- I always will and it’s sad it has come to this stage. While driving today, I realised how I feel.
Imagine a playground and in the middle of it, a glasshouse. In this playground, there’s a lot of stones, gravel and bits kids throw around and play with using the glasshouse as something to avoid. One day, a kid throws a stone breaking the glasshouse. It’s not the fault of the person who put up in the glasshouse in the wrong place obviously but of the kid who threw the stone.
I am that kid. Well, at least I feel like that. I truly thought I had achieved closure but right now, I wonder and I sincerely hope it comes soon. I am done with this sh!t.
Filed under Friends, My Day
It always amazes how two people can look at the same situation so very differently… I know this makes life even more interesting but sometimes, it just amazes me… and then I wonder, do we have conscious and subconscious perspectives that actually show the true us that we are really scared of revealing.
The other night, a friend and I shared a room on a trip away. This wasn’t the first time and potentially not the last. As always, there were giggles, chats, conversations in the darkness- just like a slumber party should be. This time, there was a twist, it went on way beyond our sleep. My friend started talking in “its” sleep. I have had friends talk (Tigger, remember the Amazon?) in their sleeps, mumble in their sleeps, and so on but this was different- it went on for almost 45 minutes and it covered some very serious topics. It was as if there was a part of my friend wanting to reach out, it was being as candid as possible, as honest as could be and laying itself bare- naked to the core. Things were said, things that were rude, things that shocked me, things that made me realise how similar the two of us are yet again.
The things it does in real life and the things it said that night just do not match. The things it thinks in real life and the things it said that night do not match. The weird thing is much of what was said that night are things I think- and admit to openly. So the subconscious and the conscious do not match, they don’t merge and there is a gap there… is this part of the reason why sometimes someone’s perspectives surprise you? Is this the reason why someone does something that one would not normally consider a move they would expect of them? Is this the reason why schizophrenia arose?
And so I bid you adieu with yet another theory mulling away in my head (always knew I had a scientific head!).
Ciao ciao world.