There are moments… when out of the blue… I feel so warm, cosy and fuzzy. It is not because someone wrapped me in a blanket or because someone did something for me but it is a sense of security in knowing you are surrounded by a massive amount of love and there’s nothing that can penetrate that amazing layer.
I am in a genuinely enviable position to be with a man who doesn’t have me on a pedestal and he ain’t on one either (unless it is to change a frigging bulb) but a man who recognises me as an equal, who respects me for who I am, who does little things to make me smile and big things to get a rise out of me, who may not always understand my point of view but always empathises with me, a man who truly wants to look after me knowing full well that that is exactly what I want to do for him.
I haven’t seen him in a few days. When I am sick and tired as I am, it feels like a lifetime. Yet, I go to bed knowing I am a very lucky lady to have my friends, my family and Red.
I hope you feel as secure, content and loved and know the feeling I am trying to capture in words. Good night x
I have often been told true generosity is in giving and I agree, it is in giving without expecting anything back.
I also think love is somewhat like that- even through the angry moments, even through the fights, you actually reach out and care- sometimes even without the other one realising… and to a great extent, it is about that sense of security that comes with it… ‘cos that sense of security is just beautiful!
The other day Chammiya and I were out and she was telling me how she thinks she is so lucky to have found love the way she has, where she knows the person will do anything for her and she for him. When I told her I take a more practical and pragmatic view and believe in making it work, she thought it was from a place of not being in love and not having found true love, I differ- for me, it comes from a sense of aligning values and goals and no matter how strong a love, if you can’t do that, it will not work- look at SL and me- the bond there was VERY strong, infact, so much so, that we are still the closest of friends but we wouldn’t have worked. Or look at TSG, a perfect candidate for the sort of person I could fall in love with- but you know what, I do love him today, as a very close friend, as a confidante, but we wouldn’t have worked as a couple either. Who is anyone to tell me these are not forms of true love?!
Personally, I feel only a couple can define true love for themselves. Each relationship is unique and needs to be secure in itself. That is the one thing I think an outsider can tell about a relationship- whether it’s secure or not from the way the couple are in public.
Most of the really good relationships I have seen are not very couply in public- you know the two are very much in love and very secure about their stance and their relationship and so don’t feel the need to constantly mention their relationship, or feel the need to be so couply that everyone else is made to feel third wheel. I was out with 2 couples last weekend and I could see that one of them were made to last- they seem comfortable and didn’t need to be all over each other while the other was constantly dropping in conversation that they were the other one’s partner. With one of the couples, I could hang out and have a laugh but then there are some I cannot see myself hanging out with cos they are always f*cking making one feel inadequate or out of the loop.
I think I understand why many thought Ryan and I were a couple now- we were secure in our friendship, and the genuine love and respect for each other was obvious. The lack of chemistry was obviously not noted but yeah, there are couple and then there are couples- I know or at least very strongly hope) I will be one of those couples that doesn’t make the third person feel not a part of the gang!
Couples out there, evaluate- are you secure in your relationship? If not, time to rethink, perhaps?