Tag Archives: Relationships

The good and the bad

So, as you know, about 6 weeks ago, I aired my concerns about my understanding of love. I have since spent a lot of time trying to understand what it means to me, personally. I realise this definition may not fit anyone else and it may change as I get more mature but for now, this is what it is all about.

Love to me is about the kind of fights I wrote about- maybe without the fear of actual physical abuse but with the passion of emotion that we shared. But more so, despite the hurt and the pain, it is about moving on from it and focusing on all that’s good.

Love to me is about telling the other person when they are wrong, not mincing your words and going as far as telling them things they may not want to hear. This is mostly to avoid the issue of groupthink within any relationship.

Love to me is very strongly about being two individuals- those who are comfortable within their own right, those who can speak for themselves, those who decide on their own but those who care for the other one’s opinion, who take into account the feelings of their partner, who looks out for a relationship more than for themselves.

Love to me is about silliness- be it a fit of giggles over something silly, a hug for the sake of it, a random present cos you thought of the person, a funny card… basically, a lot of laughs.

Love to me is about being so secure with one another that a third person feels comfortable in your presence- there needn’t be a show of constant affection, constant canoodling, constant ego-upping of the other person- the occasional putdown is pretty acceptable.

Love to me is about thinking of the other person when you are happy, sad, when you wake up, when you go to bed.

Love to me is about wanting to spend more time with the other person the more you spend it with them- sounds weird but it makes sense in my head.

Love to me is about knowing I am so loved and that I love someone so much we know when the other one is not being themselves and accept it and move on.

Love to me is about doing something because it makes you happy to make them happy! And realising that has been a big, big, big thing for me.

Will I ever forget the fight? Almost a year now and I can easily say no.
Have I forgiven the person who caused it? To the best of my ability, I have.
Do I still to heal? Probably yes but that’s not as much about Red and me but about me dealing with the trust issues I have.

And with that, I leave you with love. Love, love, love xxx

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You Just Know

Recently, a friend of mine was talking to me about her experience with an ex.

Even though it’s been 4 years since they parted ways (and a good thing it was too), he texted her out of the blue wanting to renew relations (as if). Through the tone of his texts, she could tell what he was thinking.

This got me thinking:
– Does she know ‘cos of the amount of time they spent together?
– Does she know ‘cos that’s what she wants to think even if she disagrees with wanting to feel that way?
– Does she know ‘cos she has moved on and he hasn’t?

How do you know?
And how do you know what you are thinking is right or not?
Do we really need to turn to such measures to feel better about ourselves?

I know I am guilty of this too- is this just a survival instinct or is this a way of justifying our behaviour?!

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Relations, Decisions, Ownership…

You know, life is a funny curve- no matter what, the other side seems greener! This is in no means an admission that you aren’t happy but maybe not always satisfied… I am in a really good place, life is fantastic and everything seems to be working out just the way I want it to AND I love it!

And then there are the tough decisions that no matter what the result, even if it what you want it to be, it doesn’t make for easy discussions or easy journeys to a decision. I somehow seem to be caught bang in the middle of three massive decisions, of which none is immediate so therefore tonnes of hypotheticals being built in one’s head and no real action as it is impossible to do so.

The decisions of owning certain assets together, the decisions of the right time to have kids, the decision to adopt kids, the decision of where to live, the decision of moving to different continents for one’s career, the decision to plan holidays around certain big events that mean a lot to one person, the decision to share the responsibility of a pet, the decisions that would potentially be easy when in the thick of things but tricky when you have time to think…

Oh for just a few moments I wish I was single and carefree but the support, the love, the laughter and mostly, the silliness, I will put up with this all this growing up jazz that gets thrown our way. 

Sigh!

Finding your kind of crazy

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Jul 29, Tuesday: A Brilliant Moment

A few days ago, marked 6 years to me being free- free of the shackles I had as an Indian female, free from the beliefs the society had ingrained in me and free to do things my way.

However, as I was reflecting on that, I was reminded of the day I was asked by TL to marry him. It was a wonderful moment- that conversation was one of my favourites- we talked of dreams, we talked of hopes, we talked of future, we talked of the past and we were very much in the present. That moment, that feeling of pure happiness, that love, that- yeah that, was a wonderful moment.

For those of you who have just gotten married and engaged in the last while, I hope you recall that moment forever. Love be with you.

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Being in Love

The other day, one of my many aunts and I were having a conversation on love. She said the 5 things that define long term love are:

– do we like each other’s natural smells?
– do we have fun together?
– do we still want to spend time with each other after a whole load of 24/7s?
– do we know each other’s irritating habits and can we tolerate each other when the other one is angry/ emotional/ irrational?
– do we have a similar value base?

While that may be the practical 5 step guide, I think a simple test is doing something that makes the other person happy a way of making yourself happy? If so, you are in love…

falling in love

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Totally agree- the uber man!

All- read!

http://whalesandmatches.com/
or if that link doesn’t work, it is copied here too:
http://mindvalleyacademy.com/blog/love-and-relationships/nothing-sexier

Men, this is what we women want. (Red- go figure it out)
Women, if you don’t agree, please tell me why!

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May not be perfect…

Dear Red

I feel our relationship has taken a turn:
– we are gearing up for our first big fight this weekend
– we are aware that we will be in the same country for the foreseeable future
– we have been invited to weddings in 2014 together (3 and counting)

All very serious stuff and honestly, scary. VERY scary- however, this pic captures how I feel:

as long as you try, I stay

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A Good Relationship…

So the other day Red and I decided it is time we unveiled the truth about our relationship publicly if the occasion arose and this quote sprung to my mind:

best relationships begin unexpectedlyRed and I have known each other for 4 years, we have bumped into each other socially over the years… yet only in the last few months have we become a couple. And so far, it has been the easiest relationship I have had, the most unexpected (given the circumstances) and definitely one of the most fun… which led me to remember this quote:

act silly withNot saying Red is not the perfect boyfriend (I don’t even know what a perfect boyfriend is to be honest) but till he acts silly with me, makes me laugh, keeps teaching me new things, expanding my horizons, keeps treating me like a queen, enjoys spending time with me and being as amazing as he is, I am definitely the luckiest woman alive!

Thank you for the memories so far Red- looking forward to seeing where our rollercoaster journey will take us!

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Life is pretty darn good

These days all seems to be going well… I was talking to a friend of mine who was trying to understand my “relationship” with Red and I surprised myself by saying this:

Screen shot 2013-06-04 at 22.56.27I have almost always been the relationship sort of a girl, I have fun but don’t get serious but this time, there is something different. Lady keeps wondering if I am compromising on what I want but the truth is out there- I am happy, I am having fun and yes, I would be keen to know if we have a future but hey, there’s no crystal ball!

break, forgive, kiss, love, laugh, no regrets, smileAnd you know what, I might be doing something unconventional, I might be playing with fire but I am creating memories that make me smile and hopefully always will.

AND I am meeting some amazing people 🙂 All in all, I am pretty damn happy with the way my life is!

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Meeting the Parents?!

So… next month is going to be a little interesting… I know for a fact things have changed a little for Red and me but it seems, I am finally going to an event with his family. So far, I have met the friends and the sibling but this is scary and exciting.

I know for a fact that for once, my nationality will probably work in my favour rather than against! After 5 years with SL and dealing with his parents, I am tired of it all!!!!

On a different note, I am a little annoyed at one of my mates going on about another mate’s mother and her apparent issue with the non Irish! Seriously, people need to get over this and chill out.

But yeah, I know in Ireland, at least in out current “relationship situation”, meeting the parents is not a big deal but I am Indian, and to me, it is still a step in a different direction, even if its only in my head. Either which way, I am looking forward to it- they sound like a fun bunch to be around!

One day at a time….relationship status = dont know

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Why define?!

So… Red and I have been kinda seeing each other for almost 3 months- according to everyone else we are a couple but if anyone asks us, we both deny it.

WHY?
Is it cos we are commitment phobes?
Is it cos neither of us wants to rock the boat?
OR *shock horror*
Neither of us cares to define it.

not every girl wants a relationshipHonestly, Red and I have a laugh every time we are together, we turn to each other when we need support, we have fabulous chemistry and we are comfortable with the way things are- WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK WE NEED TO DEFINE IT?

And even more importantly- WHY DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THEY HAVE A SAY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP?!

Am I being unreasonable or just way too mature?! Hehe 😉

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An alpha and an alpha

The other day, a mate and I were talking about relationships- we both agreed that the best/ ideal scenario is when a couple can retain their identities as individuals and form a new identity as themselves. Also, we know that it is not too idealistic a scenario as we have seen a lot of examples of such in our lives.

However, I was chatting to another mate and they commented that an Alpha and an Alpha could never gel. For obvious reasons, this got my goat! We have seen how many posts I have written about the brilliance that is the combination of these two.

And this got me thinking… so here’s what makes a good Alpha-Alpha relation work and be awesome, in my opinion. A lot of these are good relationship rules in my head but then again- I have never understood a non-Alpha-Alpha relationship so…. :

– They need to be friends first
– They need to have their own interests and know what they like or don’t
– Their relationship needs to be built on trust, loyalty, respect
– The relationship needs to be well balanced between depending and letting the other person depend
– The relationship needs to have more areas of support than of competition
– Both people need to retain their individual personalities- Goes without saying, they need to have awesome chemistry

In other words, if two strong personalities can be supportive friends and also be lovers, it could really work. Idealism or realism, I am not sure but I like to believe the latter!

perfect relationship

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So help me understand….

Anyone who knows me, anyone who met me while we were together, anyone I spoke to knew I really liked Tolkien. And I had kinda hoped that one would work out… Anyone who had seen us together kinda thought this was “it”- they expected us to go the whole hog.

And then 4 days after I knew I was ready to move on, Red happened- in some scenarios, one would imagine it is a rebound but somehow, this time I am even more into the guy.

Now how did this happen…
Is it a case of me wanting it more ‘cos I feel vulnerable?
Is it ‘cos I don’t feel there is a game being played here?
Is it ‘cos there has been that underlying tension between us for a few months, if not years?
Is it ‘cos at some level, we know a lot more about each other?
Is this the whole social peer thing working us?

I am not sure, all I know is, I thought I felt weak around Tolkien but that was nothing in comparison. I feel way out of my depth here and a part of me is truly enjoying it!

(Weirdly, ‘cos I have known him for years, I never really compared him to FL either!)

dont find love, just fallFOR THE RECORD- definitely not in love yet!

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You don’t lose your value

A very good lesson here:

you don't lose value

WE ARE WHO WE ARE!

Earlier today, I was assaulted with doubts about certain decisions in my life and the way I treat myself.

Yesterday, Ryan and I closed the last of our businesses together- so in a matter of 8 weeks, we will be down to just being friends and nothing more- no more business partners. After 6 years of constantly having had each other on speed dial and constant businesses discussions, I am not sure how that will work for us but I am sure we will find our new equilibrium. As I was walking away from that meeting, I thanked my lucky stars to have him as a friend. And I still stand by that. However, one person made a very valid point to me- she was talking to a few of Red’s friends on Saturday and they were stating their not-so-nice opinions about Ryan. And she told me how she thought he was so lucky to have me defend him and stand by his side. A valuable lesson again- I was not valuing myself here and was only considering how lucky I am.

We need to remember, every relationship is two way! And both of us are valuable- never forget that 🙂

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On the vein of friends…

When a mutual friend tries to get in the middle of a personal discussion between 2 other friends, I lose even more respect. Seriously world- speak your mind, share your opinion but do NOT force it- let people make their own decisions and more importantly, their own mistakes.

So dear “Friend”- yes you, the one who is so insecure even when in love, please understand- Yes I have high standards, VERY HIGH, infact but still… I am not backing down and apologising for who I am- this is me, take it or leave it.

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Connections…

This has been a couples week for me- I have hung out with a lot more couples this week than I normally would and so, it obviously got me thinking about love. And then I saw this rom-comm ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’- which showed the first night Hannah & Jacob shared as my favourite time spent with a partner- talking, chatting, hanging out and most of all, laughing. And to me, that’s what a relationship is about at it’s core- THAT connection.

And then, I came across this picture:

I have NO doubt about the fact I am smart so I can only end in two situations- love or marriage and I have avoided the marriage element so far, for obvious reasons. But never has it been put so simply before- I always go for intelligent men- my men have a spine and a brain- pretty much that’s all I ask for, and a smile (a smile that’s mine!- cheesy I know but hey, I am a girl!! I don’t need the flowers & chocolate romance but I need the humour & smiles romance)- and therefore, I have been in love (thrice, to be exact) and always with highly intelligent men. I am also lucky to be currently dating another intelligent man, who makes me laugh even if he does infuriate me with other habits of his!

But then, another friend asked me about soulmates and I still think there is more than one true soulmate for every person- I have found a few of mine- FL, SL, TSG, Ryan, Winnie- 2 of the guys I have dated and other 2 I haven’t and well, 1 is female (and sadly- cos it’s nice to be greedy every so often- I ain’t attracted to women). They are all people with whom I share a bond that’s difficult to truly explain but one that means a lot to me (and I think to them too). In some form or the other, they are all very much a part of my life- now and forever.

So I may not agree with the one person theory, but yes, I do believe love is all about that connection- that wonderful connection that just makes you go “Wow” and you know what, if chemistry is involved, it’s more than platonic love.

On that note, I wish you love while I go hang out with some other best friends of mine!! 🙂

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Just sharing, nuthin else ;)

So simple, so profound, so beautiful!

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There are couples, and then, there are couples

The other day Chammiya and I were out and she was telling me how she thinks she is so lucky to have found love the way she has, where she knows the person will do anything for her and she for him. When I told her I take a more practical and pragmatic view and believe in making it work, she thought it was from a place of not being in love and not having found true love, I differ- for me, it comes from a sense of aligning values and goals and no matter how strong a love, if you can’t do that, it will not work- look at SL and me- the bond there was VERY strong, infact, so much so, that we are still the closest of friends but we wouldn’t have worked. Or look at TSG, a perfect candidate for the sort of person I could fall in love with- but you know what, I do love him today, as a very close friend, as a confidante, but we wouldn’t have worked as a couple either. Who is anyone to tell me these are not forms of true love?!

Personally, I feel only a couple can define true love for themselves. Each relationship is unique and needs to be secure in itself. That is the one thing I think an outsider can tell about a relationship- whether it’s secure or not from the way the couple are in public.

Most of the really good relationships I have seen are not very couply in public- you know the two are very much in love and very secure about their stance and their relationship and so don’t feel the need to constantly mention their relationship, or feel the need to be so couply that everyone else is made to feel third wheel. I was out with 2 couples last weekend and I could see that one of them were made to last- they seem comfortable and didn’t need to be all over each other while the other was constantly dropping in conversation that they were the other one’s partner. With one of the couples, I could hang out and have a laugh but then there are some I cannot see myself hanging out with cos they are always f*cking making one feel inadequate or out of the loop.

I think I understand why many thought Ryan and I were a couple now- we were secure in our friendship, and the genuine love and respect for each other was obvious. The lack of chemistry was obviously not noted but yeah, there are couple and then there are couples- I know or at least very strongly hope) I will be one of those couples that doesn’t make the third person feel not a part of the gang!

Couples out there, evaluate- are you secure in your relationship? If not, time to rethink, perhaps?

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Dear World, Please Smile More

Today, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and was just in a grumpy mood all day long. In the evening, I went for a meditation session and still came out feeling like sh!te. I couldn’t figure out why. Through it all, I still had a smile on my face.

I went into town for coffee with NLP and realised, very few people were smiling- whether they were alone or with people- and it made me feel even worse.
I still couldn’t figure out why I was feeling this way and then while chatting to NLP, I realised- today is the day. It is the day when I started maturing up in a sense that one can’t explain. It is the day I realised that the first cut is the deepest. It is the day I lost my best friend and my partner.

Weird, my body always knows, and my subconscious always knows but I always forget. Sigh.

Dear world, please smile- life is too short not to.

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Falling in love, a la Joy!

This article re behaving as if you are in love is an interesting read and got me thinking about my own self… I realised maybe this is why I believe in the idea of eloping- if we have made the decision, made the commitment, then it is a lot easier to just focus on making it work. Passion is important but dedication is what really makes it last.

Funny that some of these things also came up in conversation with NLP today and I admitted the following to him too:

– I tend to really only get anxious about men I really like
– I am either 0 or 100 about a relationship- I don’t focus on playing the game and I am as intense about it from the start as I will be till the dying day (relationship death, that is)
– If I have made a decision, I will make it work
– I always get more offers when I have someone on the scene
– Love is mental, controlled and mathematical
– Emotion can be broken down into maths eventually
– It is hugely a matter of right place and right time

Am I a heartless b!tch so?!

I also realised I truly want a relationship where both people are constantly pushing each other. And so now the challenge is to find a guy who is so awesome that we both inspire each other to be constantly better, support one another, push each other positively and who will run away with me in that moment of madness….

No matter how pragmatic an approach I take, I still let my heart rule my head!

Did I just contradict myself?! I think I did… primarily ‘cos I think I might be interested in NLP knowing full well he has no interest in me at all, despite he kinda describes me as his perfect woman (except the fact I am not as tall as his usual type!)

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I have become one of them!

I always used to wonder why people wondered about their past relationships and said “I am not sure what I saw in him”- today TL posted a pic on facebook and I looked at it and went “I almost married him- what an escape!” Now I have always known I was lucky to have not married him but to actually wonder what I saw in him is a bit too harsh on someone as amazing as him.

I cannot believe I have actually become one of them! I take pride in my friendships with my exboyfriends and this really makes me wonder if there is some truth in that exes cannot be friends.

I am currently loving the single life I am leading- many men in tow, a few guys I could potentially see dating and just a lot of craic in my life- after all, my pawns are now in place and they are ready to take on a lot- a lot of fun, a lot of work, a lot of success, a lot of awesomeness. I realise I couldn’t be here without having been with the people I have been with, without the experiences I have dealt with, without the lessons I have learnt and so all of you out there, thanks!

I am a wee upset I touch the border of regretting my past relationships and I really really really don’t like the fact that I have become one of them!

PS- This was a massively rambly post, apologies!

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Forgiven!

For those who know me/ read my blog, I forgave my father last weekend- that was my present to him on Fathers Day. I have reconciled myself to realising he is my father but not my dad- other members of my life deserve that title more.

I came across this pic today:

For the longest period of time, I would have agreed with those words but not any more- yes, it hurts but is it our fault for taking anyone, including our very own parents, for granted? Or anyone else in our lives- who said a relationship comes with pre-defined Terms & Conditions? Whatever allowed us to believe that? We need to stop expecting everything, presuming everything and that way, we are less likely to get hurt- simple as.

🙂

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For the days that’s in it…

… these words are a good way to capture why some relationships change!

Be strong, believe in yourself and don’t settle for anything but the best ‘cos as L’Oreal says “You’re worth it”.

Also, till we don’t get rid of those we don’t need, we can’t add in those we do need! So, remember- cull! Be ruthless, be clear of your motivations and cull.

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The way to my heart

You know last night, I was out with some friends and we were talking about what romance means to us, what really grabs us and what keeps us in a relationship. It was interesting to realise (yet again) how it takes on a different meaning to each one of us!

Over the last while, Chammiya and I have been hanging out a lot and I have gotten to know her well- and since, had to change my initial thoughts- she is still trying too hard at times, I think- and she is very much a homebody and the simple person that I had suspected initially but with a very intelligent brain. And since she and I are so close- I have had the opportunity to see her relationship with her husband- 2 people you wouldn’t put together- both appear very different on surface and have a different type of depth in them- she comes across very open minded and unconventional but deep down is a lot more traditional whereas he comes across simple and boring but has an inner strength unseen by most with a sense of adventure (albeit in a traditional sense- he is likely to follow the tried and tested rather than forge his own way). Initially I wondered why they were together but I have seen in them, a relationship that is strong and mutually affectionate and full of caring and happiness. They work well because they are so different. To me, that makes sense in many ways yet I can’t see myself in a relationship like that!

There were many other relationships discussed, many other types of romance thrashed and I realised I am much like the lady Lindsey Kelk wrote about in Marie Claire (The Girl Can’t Help It, Apr 2012)- I am the one whose toes curl when a guy calls her ‘smart’. ‘intelligent’ especially if the ‘beautiful’, ‘pretty’ bit is not so high on the list. I am the one who thinks a guy who makes me laugh wins over a guy who buys me nice dinners. I am the one who likes to break the norms and make a relationship work in the best way possible for two people- whether it’s getting coffee at 11pm in each other’s gaff or a walk in the pier at midnight or a hike in the wee mornings because things are so busy to find time in the traditional day. I am the one who gets goosebumps when a guy earns my admiration and respect by doing something amazing in his life, just ‘cos rather than to impress me or anyone else.

Ultimately, romance to me is about those intellectual conversations, those silly laughs and basically a fabulous time together. It’s the kind of relationship where the two people in it find each other their kind of perfect.

Romance and relationship are 2 different things though, hopefully, the romance/ the fun/ the courtship leading to a stronger relationship and I think it’s when the partners can understand each other’s emotions and pain, especially when they are trying to hide it- in all honesty, to me, that’s not just in a romantic relationship but all the ones that are truly meaningful.

A similar discussion had come up between Roark and me when we were trying to figure out why neither of us was dating anyone at the moment (obviously not counting each other- which is well, over now) and we both realised we were happier being single than being in a relationship for the sake of it and the picture below just seems so apt for it!

The optimist in me knows that someday my childhood love is likely to come my way (again) and I am gonna find someone whose idea of romance matches mine, but in the meantime, I am loving life and the experiments it is sending my way!

PS Apologies, once again, I started with one idea and ending up going in many different tangents :/

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Dating a Girl

Men tend to make a big deal of dating a girl… I understand why- we are complicated creatures. However, deep down inside, I suspect, we all want exactly the same thing from our partners- love, respect, trust, loyalty, honesty- we just portray it differently.

To men, strength is in being the protective one. Apparently our strength is in showing our vulnerability– duh, that’s obviously what I am doing wrong :/ And there are many other such rules- I for one, am oblivious to them- I make my own, I follow my own and together, i create whatever works for the guy I am with and myself. It has obviously not worked so far, in as much, that I don’t have “the one” but it has worked in terms of making me the person I am today, giving me the belief I need and letting me grow the way I want to.

However, the other day I came across a picture and it caused me much amusement:

Usually not one to believe such statements, this one actually sits uncomfortably close to the truth- the more I like someone, the more I ignore them- especially if I am really close to them. It’s partly a self protective mechanism for myself because when it comes to love, I am not the biggest risk taker!

And then, I was assailed with doubts (‘cos we know how my belief has taken a knock over the last while) and came across this:

There is a lot of truth in the old adage “All’s well that end’s well”. And so on that hopeful and optimistic note, goodnight! 🙂

PS I love this post about why one should women who travel– geeky, travel crazy, gorgeous, friendly, successful- no wonder I intimidate men 😉 hehehe, will the real men please stand up and introduce themselves?!

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Break Ups!

With Valentine’s Day round the corner, many people are either remembering their break ups, focusing on break up or like me, just wanting the day to move on… However, the one good thing is the theory going around about how Valentine’s Day is cancelled because: 14-2-12=0 (for the geek in me, it’s caused many a giggle). And the other is this image- not necessarily a valentine one but well, still only come my way at this time… And oh so true, we women tend to assimilate facts, get used to the new ways things are happening and move on whereas men feel the crash later, much later. And in a completely different universe, my personal and professional avatars are fighting- I am delighted Ryan is having trouble with some official stuff and still likes to get my opinions but at the same time, as a mate, I want to help and know that I can’t till he asks me! Wish things could be simpler but sometimes, you just need to let the people make their mistakes and come out flying the other side (hopefully) or else let them make them.mistakes and be there to pick them up the other side (preferably not). Ah well… life’s a journey and an interesting one at that… here’s to the shenanigans coming my way!

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Filed under Friends, Gender, Management

Meh, men!

On a dating site, a friend’s friend contacted me- not knowing it was me!

And when I mean my friend, I mean a very close personal friend who shall rename unnamed for the sake of her privacy. And when I mean friend’s friend, I mean more than friends.

Seeing the two of them together, I had thought this whole “friends with benefits” lark could work for strong women but today, I learnt, it doesn’t- it doesn’t work for anyone. If there are two people, just having fun, one of them is likely to get hurt and more often than not, it’s the girl. At the end of the day, people’s interpretation of this situation is different and it’s not always an easy talk- and most men, don’t want the talk!

Women are nurtured to be a one-man-gal, a monogamist creature, a penguin but men- no matter what, you can’t take their cave activities out- they want to sow their seeds in as many as they can and you know what, they do it without realising they are hurting you. Meh!

How can the two genders be SO differently wired?!
How do so many people manage fwb relations without any issues??
How do strong women like my friend and me mess up on something so insignificant?!
Why do women’s reactions come out so strongly and why do men think we are drama queens when we are just emotional?! Let me blow the steam out and I am all good.

Oh, so many questions, such few answers. And while I am on the roll of questions, do universal contour wraps really work or are they a gimmick?

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Step out and go forth

The past few weeks have been a roller-coaster ride- may be that is why I have had the song Everyday by Buddy Holly stuck in my head…

I am moving on from my current company (it’s my little baby and it’s a tough, tough, tough move- it hurts, it hurts so bad!). But I am VERY excited about the next steps in my life.

It’s going to be difficult, it’s going to be tough, it’s going to be scary, it’s going to be busy but you know what, it makes me want to wake up in the morning, it makes me want to reach out and do to it things that I wanted to do in the current company and couldn’t, it makes me believe again.

The last few months have been spiritually draining, mentally tiring, physically exhausting, romantically depleting, emotionally upsetting and it’s been holding me back. Today I heard a Freedom, Abundance, Adventure webinar by Denise Duffield Thomas– I love this lady’s honesty and tips.

I made a few notes while listening to it (and no, I didn’t give it my full attention- oops)

What I want:
– Freedom to do what I want, when I want, how I want
– Holidays every 3 months to somewhere without a laptop, without a computer
– Freedom to buy what I want, without thinking twice about cash flow issues (for example, that gorgeous Gucci bag that costs a whole month’s living expenses!)
– Live life by my own rules
– I want abundance travel
– I want abundance adventure in terms of explorations and experiences and friends
– I want to grow as a person
– I want to start new companies, bring more companies success and make things happen
– I want to be surrounded by friends and laughter
– I want cupboards full of healthy food all the time
– I want to not have to do my laundry, cook my food most days
– I want to support my mother
– I always want more coming in that I had imagined
– I want to earn lots of money and would eventually like to get married
– I want to get to the places I have been talking of for ages (Arctic, New Zealand, Egypt, Jordan, Cuba, Colombia, Mexico to start off the list)
– I want to be happy and stop being so tight with tension all the time!

Apparently, what stops women mostly is (points from Denise’s webinar- I am not sharing the link to it as I don’t have her permission but I will share some of the key points I took away- please note, these are not the same as what she said, I have tweaked it (if only very slightly) to what I know is relevant to me):

Guilt: I feel guilty for not being there for my family, especially my mother. I feel guilty about ignoring my paternal side of the family. After 11 years, I still feel guilty about my parents splitting up (irrationally, I know). I feel guilty about arguing with Ryan, even though I am right. I feel guilty about not having met the society’s expectations of me. I feel guilty of being alive when my first love is up in heaven. I feel guilty and I need to release it especially since most of them are not things I can do much more about.

Fear: I am scared. I am scared of what I can’t imagine. I am scared of being shunned by my closest friends. I am scared of risking everything for nothing. I am scared of the unknown. Weirdly, I am also excited about it- everything that scares me excites me- I used to have a higher threshold in the past.

Perfection: Not my thing, to be honest- I am happy with 80% in most situations but in some key areas, I do want 100%- when others let me down in those areas, I do get upset and beat myself about it.

I made a promise to myself in March to put myself first and though I succeeded in some ways, there are areas I can improve upon and since I need to Upgrade to Attract the Achievements I want in my life- I am going to start my making  more time in my life for my friends.

Knowing I am going into 100 hour work weeks means it will be a tough juggle but if I can combine work with the social element- it would be so awesome- 2 of my very close friends and I are going to meet every week to push ourselves and make our plans for the week ahead, brainstorm and together bring success in all the 3 ventures the 3 of us are heading into.

Today, I am frustrated that I can’t fly off to be with my family when I want to, I can’t have them over when I want to, I work with a team of untalented/ undriven/ unambitious peeps who can’t see my vision to make them and the organisation grow, about not having a social life I thrive on, about the weight I am at, about the clothes I own and the shoes I want and can’t afford. I need to effortlessly let go. I NEED to meditate more and often.

I need to stop thinking I will be rich ‘cos I already am.

I AM, because I say so.

I am now almost back in the city I so love, living in a gorgeous apartment with Candy and driving my awesomely amazing sports convertible. I have chucked out clothes that made me feel dowdy, I have new boots for the winter and 2 new pairs of designer shoes (so what if they are eBay specials) and I am decorating my room based on fengshui.

Today I am taking my life back in control again and hopefully I will do a better job this time round ‘cos I have already improved from the last time I said this.

I repeat- SUCCESS IS ME!

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And the Rower rows

So have I done the right thing or not… I will never know… but tonight, the Rower and I decided to part ways. There were many reasons for it but the primary one being the ambition in me, the drive in me, the need in me to do what I want to do.

He found it difficult to understand how important my work in and how much pride I take in what I do.

His ‘S’ness is no match for my ‘N’ness.

Last night, I was thinking whether I wanted to give this a shot. Today, when I got into the car, I was 80% sure, I was gonna make a decision one way or another by the end of the fortnight and the opportunity presented itself today. I know I have hurt him. I know I am hurting. But both Tigger and I agree it was the right thing to do.

I am glad I had Rower’s support over the last few weeks. I am glad I met him. I am glad I was smitten once again- it had been ages since I was courted. I am glad we parted on a note where we will still be friends.

But, there is a part of me that wonders if there is a guy out there strong enough to be with me. The one I know can’t admit to being in love with me and yes, that was part of the reason I made the decision I did (I am a romantic fool) but that was not a deciding factor and either way, what I did needed to be done.

Onwards and Upwards, or so they say.

I am tender, world- emotionally, physically, spiritually- my aura has too many holes, I need some healing, I need some loving, I need to go back to being me- strong and vulnerable in equal doses.

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Life Story

Sometimes, pictures are better than words!

🙂 so beautiful.

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Life is weird

You know the situation I am currently in is pretty enviable- an amazing guy to date and another amazing guy who will eventually consciously realise he is in love with me yet I am as confused as can be!

And this quotation is pretty cute and certainly puts love in perspective 🙂

Enviably, I have weird compatibility with both yet am no closer to knowing what I should do!!

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Smitten Mitten

Over the last few days, I have spent a fair bit of time with Rower- more than I would have expected to at this time of the year!! But we have both made an effort and it has been very cute.

  • Date #2- he drove me home from Dublin ‘cos my lift wanted to party and I was too tired.
  • Date #3- he wanted to bake cupcakes together (well, post dinner).
  • Date #4- he gave up a night of free alcohol and hanging out with some people he only gets to see about once a year to go to the cinema with me.
  • Date #7- he came down to see me really late on a Friday night, again giving up on free work drinks because it was the only time we would have managed to see each other for a while.

As my friend, The Diva, said- very genteel.

A picture I came across today kinda sums up to some extent the kind of guy Rower is and why despite not quite being an absolute out there Alpha, he has managed to capture my attention and keep it there!

Rower seems to be that kind of man at the moment, he gives me compliments (even if they are hidden in a joke text at times), he appreciates me for what I am, he is amused by the drive I display, he understands my need to be passionate about all I do and in his own way, he appreciates it all and wants to support it and add more to my life. In a very weird way, it makes me really enjoy being with him.

One night as we were drifting off to sleep, he kinda murmured how beautiful I was and how I always looked in my really nice clothes. And last night was very cute- he made a flippant comment (flippant in the sense that I wouldn’t read much into it yet it was out there) saying he really liked how I got him in so many ways. To me, it was actually not cheesy but really nice- it’s the sort of thing I like to hear.

So basically, I am smitten, yes. Will it go anywhere? Who knows! Do I want it to go anywhere? Who knows! Do I want to go exclusive with him? Honestly, I still don’t know- go figure!!

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And then he…

So much has happened since my last post.

Blondie got married and looked absolutely stunning on her wedding day and radiant since she realised she was going to spend her life with the man she loves. She got me emotional a few times during the day and I just am so totally over the moon for the happy couple. I hope they remain as happy, if not happier! Curly felt a huge stab of jealousy when she saw their happiness and was surprised I didn’t. Somehow it made me realise that I was happy for my friends and was so happy that the lack of love in my own life didn’t even figure! Part of me wonders if its because I am confident that one of these days I will have that sort of all-consuming love and I know it’s round the corner or maybe it’s just cos I am happy as is in my life… either way, I am happy and that’s the bottom line!

However, the very next day, something weird happened- a certain friend of mine and I got together! He declared his undying, unconditional love to me- the second time in about 6 months and it kinda freaked me out. We ended up kissing and it was only ‘cos I didn’t want to do it drunk that I pulled back. This has been playing on my mind A LOT. I really like the guy, he is convinced I am too good for him and I do believe the two of us wll be good together but I want to go into it with both of us being on the same page and with eyes wide open- not a drunken snog leading us to being awkward. The weird thing is he doesn’t remember a thing 😦 I really really really don’t know what to do!

And then, there’s the Rower- a guy I have been seeing for a couple of weeks- a Gemini who might be a ‘S’- scary thought yet someone who makes me very happy and someone I have fun with. In his sleep he once told me “I was very beautiful and I wear such lovely clothes” and even though the words aren’t much, they made me smile ‘cos of the way he said them. He likes me and we are both scared of discussing what will happen next but to some extent, I want to just have fun and go with the flow, especially as I head into the busiest period of work!

Talking of work, I feel I am being asked to make pearls of dirt without being given the condusive conditions- turning coal into diamonds is a long process and not always possible. My team needs a lot of work and its driving me insane! Here’s hoping I manage to get them through the project without losing too much hair… at least there is Halloween to look forward to- here’s to choosing my Halloween costume, the annual feature for October!

Somehow, this year, I am not so sure about partying though- a friend I respected highly passed away very suddenly today and I am still in shock. He had a headache, was diagnosed with leukemia and passed away- all in less than 100 hours- he was in coma for the past few hours. He beat me once at an election and it changed the direction of my life, for better or worse, he shared my idealogies, he knew how to have fun and take risks, he was a lovely person through and through and though if anything, he has reminded me of my friends, the need to keep more in contact, the need to enjoy life, a part of me is too stunted to move. RIP PO, you will be missed.

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30 Rock did it again!

“Drive, Ambition, Our belief that sex is a competition”- that’s what drives us Alphas, according to CC in 30 Rock Season 2, Episode X(!)

And to a great extent that describes the sort of partner I am looking for and in the same place as me- long distance just doesn’t cut the mustard for me any more… sigh, I sound so cynical and so full of myself. But hey, drive and ambition are just those factors that I admire the most and who doesn’t some good physical attention?! 😉

At times it’s scary how similar 30 Rock is to my life! Or has it been written to be that way?!

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Slump after the high

I have had 2 really good nights- some great moments.

On Tuesday, I caught up with an ex, and it was really good. He allowed me to think about some of the things happening in my life and gave me a massive amount of help with a problem that had been bothering me but it was good to speak to him, more importantly than anything! He and I had our differences but the fact that we are where we are now as friends is awesome and I am delighted that just when I was beginning to think exes can’t be friends, he proved me wrong 🙂 Thanks my dear knight in shining armour, you did it again!

Then last night, I had a friend call over for dinner. He is someone I am very fond of. A genuine guy, a beautiful person and someone I can be me with. He told me that he is hooked up with this girl that I have been wanting him to hook up with for years. And I am over the moon.

On a different note, I did a tarot reading today and it reminded me of the importance of focusing on the vision in the midst of all the action and as my busiest project looms ahead of me, this is pretty good advice.

I found these words below to be very interesting and very well put for what I am going through- not sure if its because of the fact I live so far away from my friends or is it because of where I am personally in life… either way, very eloquent!


Now, after such highs, I am tired and need sleep. It’s the post-sugar slump, me thinks! Toodles all, have fun! x

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In a year…

I have definitely grown. This time last year, I was wondering what the story with this being my break-up week but today, I think back, thanks to some silliness by SL and more idiocy by TL, I now rebrand the past week to be one of growth and learning.

This week 15 years ago, I lost FL. I still  miss FL. A LOT. But his death taught me that there was no moment like the present, the best laid plans get waylaid due to unforeseen circumstances, scenario changes etc and that it is very important to just go do whatever you really want to do.

And then when I moved on from SL, I realised how empowering it is to believe in yourself. Nothing and absolutely nothing should come between you and your self-respect. It is important to not do anything that will make you lose respect for yourself and anyone who makes you make such a move is not worthy of your time.

And finally, exactly 3 years ago today, I liberated myself. I freed myself from the shackles of family expectations, society expectations and did something that made me happy then and happier today. I made a decision that my little voice kept trying to tell me to, yet my screaming monster kept overriding it but eventually, the small guy won and made me do the right thing. Phew. Thankfully.

So the person I am today is someone I am proud of, someone I respect, someone I trust, someone I inspire, someone who inspires me and someone who wouldn’t be the person she is if it weren’t for the 3 loves I have had, the 3 loves who have broken my heart and hurt me but potentially the top 3 teachers towards making me the person I am today. Thank you all. I wish you all luck and I am delighted our paths crossed. I can only hope I taught you something in the process too.

 

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Love = romance + laughter + vision + A LOT of work

I took the above screen shot from a reader’s blog and found it to be extremely true, especially the last bit. I think sometimes we forget how important relationships are and forget to work on them!

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So messed up!

So… TL got married about 10 days ago and is on my honeymoon.

And guess who he called from it?

Seriously, whats with exes calling me from their honeymoon? This is the second time and I really do not appreciate it! If anything, I am happier to not be with those guys.

And TL, to call me to remind me that 15 years ago I got the news FL passed away is a way of reminding me that you are the one for me and you have moved on and I haven’t- FFS!

Seriously, I was amused when all this happened about an hour ago but now I am just plain angry. ANGRY! I now understand why exes can never be friends- twice in a week, my exes have managed to upset me- and they aren’t even that important a part of my life anymore. Really, how is this possible?!

Men, get a life. And those of who have dignity, self-respect and a life, and happen to be still single, get in touch- I could use a date 🙂

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A true fairy tale!

Hehe

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Guilty.com

A couple of days ago I was at a wedding.

It was odd- I went as the date of a guy I have been with in the past and one of the other guests there was SL.

SL came with his girlfriend and completely ignored him even though I raised my hand to him to say hi when I saw him. I know he saw it cos he acknowledged it on text. I mean, where is the decency- either ignore me completely or be completely honest and openly say hi but don’t be so silly and childish.

The ‘tipsy’ me decided I was not in the mood for any games and wanted to teach him a lesson. So wrong. So I texted back and played the game of wanting him with him till I knew I had him hooked and then in front of his girlfriend, I pretty much told him to go climb a gum tree. (I am sneaky, I managed to start chatting to them as another guest at the wedding).

I ended it such that I knew he was left wondering and that it was innocent enough for his girlfriend not to question too much but her not to have no noticed. Yeah, I was sneaky.

Now if only I could remember the things I said so beautifully then. I wish I hadn’t felt so guilty about it last night- I just left him at the point of no return and played mind games of the worst kind. Seriously, ashamed of myself and guilty as can be but well, part of me thinks he deserved it and the other part of me knows he did.

Boys need to grow up. At least he has had the decency to call and apologise for his behaviour and realised he was being exceptionally silly, esp since his girlfriend knew of his history with me and noticed the sexual chemistry (yeah, we still got it!).

It will be interesting to run into them in the future- wonder if he will tell her- there are too many people wo know for him to manage to hide it all his life, esp if they end up together!

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She gives women a bad name…

And by she, I don’t mean anyone in general but a lot of ladies- a certain type of the female population, to be honest- a percentage that have no respect for themselves, settle for anything and lower the opinion a certain male population have of the female race.

The funny thing is, I usually remain disconnected from those sort of females and try to avoid those sort of men but seriously, sometimes, you meet a guy and he is brilliant in every which way but has zero/ nada/ no respect for women and you realise he has only dealt with the type of females that give other ladies a bad name.

These girls need to grow up, even if not for their sisters in the world, but for themselves and realise that to get respect from the world, they need to respect themselves.

And those men, well, they need to realise that to get a lady, they need to stop being seen or hanging out with those females, ‘cos a woman worth her salt can smell the stench of another woman and will not go near…

Cryptic as I am, I know what’s bothering me and just need to rant!

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I am truly beginning to wonder

  • Is it that men can’t handle confident women?
  • Do men like to be so in demand and control that they can’t handle a woman who is self-assured?
  • Do men get attracted to the confident aura but don’t like it really?

Or

  • Is it me?
  • Do I attract the men who are amazing, great catches, lovely people but at the end of it all, they can’t handle a real woman?
  • Or is it something about me that I need to change?
  • Or is it what most ENFP women face on a regular basis- the inability to find a man who can accept our enthusiasm and excitement balanced with our need for peace and some personal space?

Will I ever truly know? Once again, I wonder 🙂

PS Incase you haven’t guessed, TSG and I parted ways tonight and hence, this line of thought!

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Oddly, very interesting!

So today I realised, when I booked my flights to India, I booked my return on the day before my ex’s wedding. I was actually trying for the date itself but they were sold out and so I chose to fly back a day earlier- weird or what- subconciously, I chose to be away from the whole thought of it all and didn’t really realise it till a few minutes ago while on the phone to Miss Piggy!

And then I decided to send him a quick message, wrote it, deleted it, rewrote it, re-deleted it and in the end, kept quiet. Probably for the best, or else i would have sent it, duh!

However, I learnt in the process he is looking to rent a place post-wedding. Its so weird, it’s like he doesn’t want to do anything we had done or discussed together- he is not moving into the house we bought, he is not continuing living with the parents and he is potentially not gonna have 48 kids and dogs now 🙂

I was invited to the wedding, I was/ am tempted to go but I think the day should be a clean start for the two of them and I don’t think my presence will help so I am going to stand by and wish him luck and try not to feel the odd twinge that I do when I realise he is getting married and I am not even a friend to him anymore- 20 years, how they get forgotten.

Dear TL, I wish you luck and happiness. Most of all, I wish you maturity to deal with things life sends your way. God bless!

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Psychic or Designer?!

Sometimes, I wonder if I have psychic powers or if it’s true that even if you think of something you don’t want, you end up getting it ‘cos you are so focused on not messing up…

The other day my best friend got some bad news, something I was expecting to some extent but not something I was prepared for- I was upset about it, maybe even more than him and I wonder if part of it is guilt- guilt at expecting it even though I know/ knew/ believe he deserved to have gotten it actually. I know I am talking in riddles but it’s not my news to share and so I don’t really wanna talk about it.

However, I have since spoken to a few influential people in Ireland and learnt a few things- this country is a lot more about who you know than not, I mean, ALOT more! The perception of who you are is probably more important than your results, sad but true.

This country is too small for comfort at times, everything is public and everyone knows someone- a friend of mine used to work with TSG about 10 yrs ago!

Also, I know my friend’s faults and I realise some of his moves may not have been absolutely right but alas, such is life and he is who he is and I am really proud of him for who he is- warts and all. I know he doesn’t care so much about this but I also know how much it would have meant for him. I so hope someday he gets what he deserves!

On a different note, my psychic abilities fail me in relationships. I know I have only been on 1 date with TSG but we have interacted loads and he is just someone I am very comfortable with. I head away for almost 3.5 weeks to India in a matter of 2 or so weeks and I truly wonder how things will work out- should we go exclusive before, should I let it be, should we talk about it, I am so scared about messing this one up that I really don’t know. I like him, alot, the fact that I will have no interaction for 4 whole days with him is not something I am liking the idea of but c’est la vie… the idea of him potentially being with someone else while I am away is actually not something I like at all and I never thought I was prone to jealousy! Ah, the joys of the initial stirrings (not quite feelings, as Johnny Depp would say ;))

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TSG

Last Saturday, I met someone- someone I had only interacted with online, someone I would normally not reach out to but somehow I did and I am glad I did- he is Tall, Sexy and Geeky/ Gentlemanly.

I know it’s early days and I know the true me just goes into everything head strong that it scares the other person so I am being careful to give space because INTJs need space but the ENFP in me is finding it tough. Bah!

Anyhow, I am glad I didn’t get hung up on the idea of Harry and go with head rather than heart. I have already made moves with TSG that I wouldn’t normally do but one only lives once and if it’s meant to be, it will be. He seems a nice bloke, he makes me smile, he treats me like a gentleman and he came out of his comfort zone to see me… yes, he has his faults but so far, they are not unbearable.

Do I think we have a future? Honestly, I dunno. Do I want us to have a future? Again, I genuinely don’t know but I sure am keen to find out and I do hope I see him again, soon.

On a happy note, goodnight world.

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Two types…

So this weekend, I had a great chat with an old friend of mine, where we talked of a lot of different things- men, friends, businesses, work, movies etc etc etc…

And the funny thing is we women don’t realise a very fundamentally simple thing about men- there are two types of men- all men are afraid of rejection but one type of man goes for women he knows are not worthy of him but will not reject him and the other goes for women he knows may reject him but he will have missed out  if he didn’t try.

Similarly, there are two types of entrepreneurs- those who have an excellent idea, know it is hard to achieve and will be determined and get there, while the other type will have a good idea but will take the easiest route possible and make it work because they are just really good at it.

And so I had this moment of epiphany where I understood that moment where I was stuck between a hard place and a rock and the reasoning behind why the wrong woman could hold my friend back and why the partner is key for certain decisions related to entrepreneurs….

More and more, I realise why being a part of a power couple is so very important to me- it is who I am, fundamentally- a strong person and I believe I am a catch and should be treated like a Goddess (everyone else gets the princess treatment so it is well, too plebian, for my taste- oh I am such a snob hehehe- but you know what I mean, I treat myself the way I expect to be treated and expect the others to treat me the same way!)

Interesting chat all together with my friend that helped me explore my theory even further- wonder what else will I learn on this subject!

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Husband

Of all the lovers of a girl, he is only her true husband who possesses the qualities that are liked by her, and such a husband only enjoys real superiority over her, because he is the husband of love.“- Kama Sutra

Such beautiful words. So true.

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Harry?

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been interacting with this guy, who for the purposes of the blog, we shall call Harry.

Harry is this really nice, down-to-earth guy, with an interesting brain and a pretty intense but still fun attitude. Now, if I were to just hang out with him as a mate, I know it would be a good friendship. However, I know he is interested in more and I am not sure what I want.

I did the whole usual pros and cons list etc but I am still unsure. There is a part of me that wonders if I am over-critical and if I expect too much?! And then, I am reminded of Charlotte in Sex & The City and how she always went for a certain type but then ended up with Harry- a lovely guy who wasn’t a perfect match to her list and he certainly had to try hard to get her to agree. Somehow, in my situation, it seems kinda similar- the only difference being I can’t say I fancy him back, at least not yet!

So world, tell me, how does one know whether to pursue something or not?! What sort of signs should I look out for?!

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Crossing paths…

It is said, we cross paths with certain people in our life for a reason. Sometimes, we know the reason, sometimes we realise the importance of some people and sometimes we just float along…

There is another theory that says we attract the type of people that share our aura. The way this theory works is that if your aura is clear and energised positively, then you attract similar people- people who truly deserve to be with you and people who truly complements your strengths and weaknesses. And when you are “not clean” yourself, you attract the “not-so-good” elements in life.

So I have been trying of why certain friends of mine always gravitate towards the wrong type of people in their lives- Curly spent the best past of the last 6 yrs hoping for something with the biggest plonker on earth, Dr F did not always choose the right women before he met Mrs F (and I absolutely adore her), Crystal has a history of the worst women one earth and let’s not even talk of Spartacus! So it should not surprise me Ryan messes up so often too…but I have my own theory (surprise, surprise). I think, people can have different auras for different things. I mean all these people are absolutely awesome people and attract the best of the best in their life- colleagues, best friends, friends but somehow, they (and I) haven’t always been the most successful in personal relationships. Why is it that we all have chosen the wrong people and some of us continue to do so?

I mean, Crystal never thought he would be the lady he is with today. She was so not the type he would usually go for but she is the type I used to push him towards. Thank God he eventually heard me, because he is so happy with her and they make an excellent couple- so grounded, so caring and so perfect.

Dr F used to be with people who never matched his intellectuality. Mrs F may not be the business brain he is but she can hold her ground in so many fields he is clueless about. And she can play so many avatars- from a grungy night clubber to the perfect elegance for a black-tie event, she can play the perfect partner without losing her individuality.

Curly has yet to find a partner but I suspect the changes she is making in her life are going to help really well. She has taken the right steps and banishing the guy from her life will only make it easier for a new one to come right in.

Spartacus and Ryan now are a different kettle of fish. They are both keen to find the right partners, they are both keen to meet someone that describes their idea of perfect but they are not keen to make the effort to meet them. Spartacus goes for women who make the first move- so he is always letting them choose- at least they are strong women. Ryan on the other hand goes for the low-hanging fruit- which usually means that the best, though tough to get to, gets left out and even though there are a good few of what he describes out there as his perfect partner. This gets me wondering is it because of their (our) fear of getting hurt- all three of us are very alike and similar. I let the guy always believe he’s made the first move (am a girl after all and like to let the man feel cavemanlike) but even then, I turn away some really good men away because I don’t feel the chemistry there. Am I being too choosy or is it just that our auras are not clear enough for the correct person to come our way?!

I can’t do a thing about the others, but I can certainly try and make my aura cleaner and so I hope the changes I have been trying to make go towards all my auras being clear and me only inviting the people that actually provide a reason, that match my energy levels and that add that something special- be it as a friend, a colleague or more- to cross paths with me and become a part of my life. I hope my mates do it soon too because it is really irritating to see them with people they really shouldn’t be with.

 

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R-E-S-P-E-C-T

(I have the Aretha Franklin song stuck in me head now!)

One of the fundamentals of EVERY relationship in life, or so I think- to me no relationship is complete without RESPECT! And I think this kinda goes with this article I was reading a few days ago about Power Couples.

Yet another one of my theories proven, to some extent anyway- power couples rule. That is, two similarly strong people can taken on the world much better as a team than one strong with someone not as strong/ smart/ intellectual. Basically the theory about opposites attracting is still about two people with similar fundamentals, similar values, similar ideologies supporting each other by optimising on each other’s strengths and working out the best way to deal with the weaknesses. And this only happens when the relationship is founded on trust, loyalty and respect.

And so I know I need to be one half of a power couple, ‘cos that’s what would make me really happy and help me achieve all I have the potential to achieve.

And I think this is why I am having such a tough time with my friends and relationships. Most of my friends are very similar to me- strong, independent personalities willing to take on the world and I think I want someone similar. I want someone who can hold his own and though I have met many a guy who is intellectually on the same page, they are just not right or so my instinct says. And so I keep dating and keep looking 🙂

I think it’s the same instinct that helps me identify the partners for my friends- Crystal was onto me a few days ago and he was telling me how he is glad I was always honest about my feelings about his relationships and how he has lucked out with his current wife. Dr. F was onto me last week as well, saying the very same thing. All in all, it is pretty cool to have such awesome friends with whom I can be so honest and for whom, my instincts can be so right.

And back to me- I came across an interesting article that made me realise maybe I am not so non-materialistic after all- tall men do earn more, hehe. Bah.

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