Tag Archives: Realisation

The First Hello…

… after the last goodbye!

Yes, I had one of those moments yesterday where, at a ball, I glimpsed a guy I was with.

Now this is potentially the only guy in the world I really imagined a future with and it went nowhere, I was definitely very upset and confused when it all unfolded. And I always assumed we would bump into each other at some point but just not at a black tie ball- the advantage there is we both looked well 🙂

So, re-applied my bright red lipstick, shook my hair till it looked just messy enough to be cool, in my towering high heels, I walked up to the guy and said hello. And then he rose, all the tallness of him and I recalled why I was so attracted to him- still an imposing figure, still a good looking face and still someone who could fill a suit well.

And then we chatted, we chatted for a few minutes catching up on the major aspects of life. And then we chatted about the smaller things and then we chatted of things we hadn’t really spoken much about at that time. And as we chatted, I realised he was a good guy (phew, I hadn’t messed up on that front at least) but an unhappy one (despite major changes since we had met, and all of them good, he still wasn’t content), with a few regrets in life and so, it made me appreciate Red so much more.

The moment we finished our chat, I knew it was time for me to head home, head home to the man I love the most, the man who stands up to me when I am wrong, the man who pushes me to be the best I can be, the man who gets silly with me when I want to, the man who scrubs up well and escorts me to all the fancy balls we go to, the man who makes my ‘ovaries swing’… I knew the story that started 3 years ago is the one I want to be a part of for the rest of my life and I am really glad I got the closure with Tolkein without ever actually needing it.

 

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Filed under Dating, Ramblings

There, I admit it!

Last weekend, within 24 hours, 4 friends got engaged- that’s 4 different couples, even if the partners are friends of mine too and another one got married. For the first time ever, I wondered if the Sex and the City of all the women finding their partners and their love etc is something more real than not.

I have always admitted I want to get married, have a family and enjoy that lifestyle but not until I am ready- however, when I see everyone around me going down the path, I do begin to wonder, am I in denial or am I expecting some sort of a thunderclap?!

It was weird, about 10 days, my first ever boyfriend got married and that impacted me more than any of my ex’s ever! It truly got me thinking of an alternate universe where I wasn’t such a party girl, where I was married, where I had kids and where I wasn’t living my dream. Additionally, I went through a whole introspection of my 20s and realised I spent it having fun- I did none of the sensible things one is expected to do- I didn’t save, I don’t own property, I didn’t get married, I don’t have a responsible job etc etc etc.

And I also realised in 2015, I can have NO frigging holiday because I will be spending all my free time in weddings- 7 close friends and family at last count- there may be a few more yet! I had thought I had gone through that wave and was in the baby wave but alas, life has other plans obviously and it has got me wondering…

Is this the beginning of the transition? Will this be where I get cranky and nary about the lack of a legal name to my relationship with Red?

I will admit, I am scared about the future! Wish me luck, peeps.

reality

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Filed under Dating, Ramblings

Insignificance

Now, is your problem really that big?! Seriously? Get some perspective!

Realisation

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Filed under Ramblings