Tag Archives: Memories

Bliss.

I characterise March as Bliss. What a wonderful month it has been:
– Personally: some fantastic memories created with Red, lots of laugh and tonnes of parties, great moments with loved ones
– Socially: hung out with some great people, got to make new friends, re-bonded with some old ones
– Professionally: all goes according to plan, which makes me happy, content and satisfied.

What else does one need really?! Laughs, Friends and Good times x

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Amazing Moments

Last night was the sort of night every one needs once in a while- a bunch of motley mates, loads of alcohol, huge amounts of craic.

And then sometimes, you need nights like tonight- a simple chat with an old friend, a bit of play time with a nephew, some home truths and discussions, a drive in your car, a glimpse of the meteors, a Bollywood film, texting with Red.

2 extremes, 2 beautiful memories, 2 fantastic evenings- life is good.

amazing moments

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My memory sucks!

And today I learnt why- I have SO many amazing memories. Adore this picture- it captures my life to the tee….

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My Nana

Nana, I miss you.

If there is someone who understands what I am going through, if there is someone who would be ever so proud of all I have done, am doing and am about to achieve, if there is someone who reminds me of some of the finest moments of my childhood, it is you.

I miss the days of going to eat chaat. I miss the days of bathing in the hauj. I miss the days of buying anything I wanted without paying anything. I miss the days of walking into the house and screaming for Nani and you out of excitement. I miss the ‘meetha soda’ you arranged for us as as surprise everyday. I miss you cooking chicken on the terrace because nani wouldn’t let you bring in it. I miss you waking us up in the middle of the night to take us for a holiday. I miss you for putting the travel bug in me. I miss you for teaching me style. I miss you for the laughs. I miss canvassing for you. I miss you.

My summers haven’t been the same. My trips to India haven’t been the same. I look at the photograph of you when I saw you last and I cry at the thought that I didn’t know it would be my last. I remember talking to you the night before you passed away. I remember crying and going numb the day you died due to happiness. I remember you.

I have traveled the 7 continents, thanks to you. I got myself a sports car, thanks to you. And when I went to count votes for a political candidate yesterday (and yup, my victorious streak continued- I still have the magic touch), I realised no matter how much I try to move away from it, I am a politician at heart and I have the political genes flowing in my veins.

Nana, I miss you regularly but yesterday was just the tipping point. I am so happy I got to spend time with you, I am so happy I got to know you and I am so happy you still inspire me.

My Nana- you rock. I love you.

PS. Whoever said change is the only constant, didn’t have as awesome a family as mine. They are constantly a pain, they constantly drive me nuts and they are constantly there for me.

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Once in a while…

I am taken back to many moons ago, when I was first in love and when he passed away. On facebook, I saw this status on a friend’s page and it made me miss FL a lot.

“Wish heaven had a phone so I could talk to you again. I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought of you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence. I often speak your name. ♥”

FL- I miss you. I miss you as a girlfriend. I miss you as the person as the person who might have been your life partner. I miss you mostly as my best friend. I have often sat and shared my thoughts, hopes and dreams with you- and you have in your own weird way responded, I only wish I could pick up the phone and have one of our proper chats- ones like we did years ago, ones like we did when we discussed school, ones like we did when we would have after an argument, ones like we did when we discussed our futures- individually and together.

You are my first love, and always will be.

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Alcoholic Shennanigans!

They should NOT be allowed!

But they are… and you know why- because they make us laugh and laughter is the best medicine for everything. So the last few days have had MANY shennanigans- where do I even begin to start the stories…

  • Last Thursday was a beauty pageant called Miss Sunday World- personally, in my opinion, very mediocre- in many ways- organising, PR, models, judges, atmosphere, logistics etc etc etc but either which way, Ryan’s lady was one of the finalists and so we went along to support. Now, for those of you who know me, know I am not particularly fond of fashion- I love style, but modeling, pageants, fashions shows etc are things I shoot and do work at every once in a while but that’s pretty much it. So when you put Pixie (another very close friend of Ryan’s who absolutely detests his girlfriend) and me together in a place we have no interest in, in a place we don’t want to be seen in- our best bet is drink and so we drank! 2 other friends of ours joined in and basically, before you knew it- Pixie was singing ‘Time to Say Goodbye’ in O’Donoghues and she brought everyone to a stand still- I SO think she should be a singer, professional one, I mean. Let’s just say, very little food + a lot of drinks + shots = messed up us!
  • Then, after the drinks, we needed food, right? Sensible thing to do, right? Well, so we did the sensible thing and went for some food- kebabs! Yay! Now there is only one place and one place only in Dublin for kebabs and they are also the only kebab place that take credit cards (I think)- anyway, I decided to pay by credit card and the f*ckers charged me 100x the amount!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAARGH. My fault for not noticing it either but still- UGH.
  • Hungover on Friday, I am driving to work with Ryan and Pixie… and they hoodwink me into making the decision to go away for the weekend and guess what- I went and did exactly that- buy a ticket for a weekend festival with Ryan, Tigger, Daddy Long Legs and many other mates.
  • Come Saturday, I am tired, sleepy, hungover but full of energy and just buzzing with life… however, life has its own plans every so often. Ryan and I ended up getting exceptionally drunk and having the most amazing heart-to-heart one could imagine ever. We have NEVER come close to pouring our hearts out so much at one time and I always knew how much I meant to him but after the weekend, it was even more obvious and I felt great to know that he was saying all that just ‘cos he was so drunk and so happy to be spending time with me. And potentially the best bit for me (and Pixie) was him agreeing to sort things with his girlfriend because he realises she is taking him for granted and is not the one for him!

On a completely different note then, I was reading some stuff written by one of my favourite actors- Anupam Kher:

In The Little Prince, the protagonist falls in love with a rose. And he is truly besotted with her as he thinks she is the only rose in the world, till he discovers fields of roses! Predictably, he is crushed. But he realises another simple truth: People may raise five thousand roses in the same garden — and they don’t find in them what they are looking for. And yet, what they are looking for could be found in one single rose!

Aren’t these words so beautiful? They remind me of a discussion my mother and I had many years ago about how the more we are given choice, the less we can decide and the more we have seen, the less we want to settle and how to some extent, ignorance truly is bliss!

And since I have been so terrible at posting recently, my top 3 of last week would be:

  • Starting back work after over 2.5 years away! And yes, it is VERY tough.
  • Enjoying the conversation and the laughs on Saturday with Ryan.
  • Beginning to think ahead already and planning my Halloween celebration.

Till laters, I will hopefully be a bit more regular.

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It’s the little things that count!

You know today, after ages, my baby sister and I caught up- and all of a sudden, mid -convo, she goes “love you, big sis” and at that moment, the world stopped and all I wanted was to give her a tight hug and hold her close. Oh why do such massive geographical distances exist?! Especially when there are none emotionally?

And now, I am teary-eyed and homesick.

You know, I have come back to edit this post because the nostalgia has hit me real bad- I remember when my little sis was born- I was in a different city and we had to go see her in the hospital because the little trouble-maker that she is, she came early and she came in the middle of nowhere! Seriously, kiddo, cop on, will you? 😉

I remember rejoicing at having another girl in the family, I remember holding her when she was a wee little thing, I remember playing with her as if she were a doll, I remember the drama that she was, I remember the days she was a meek little thing (oh how I miss those days!), I remember when she first started walking, I remember when she first pee’d all over my homework and I had to redo it (if I hadn’t loved you so, you’d be so dead), I remember when she became an elder sister herself, I remember her first crush, I remember her first boyfriend, I remember her telling me of her first kiss, I remember her becoming chubby, I remember her losing weight, I remember the first time she bought me ice-cream (that was SO adorable), I remember the times she made me birthday cards, I remember the first time she swore in front of me, I remember the first time she cried, I remember the first time she danced, I remember the first time she hurt herself, I remember the sleepovers we had (and will have), I remember the naughty antics I taught her, I remember the naughty antics she taught me, I remember the fun times, I remember the fights, I remember the first time she let out of my secrets, I remember the pride she felt when I did something right, I remember the pride I feel every single day for having her as my sister. I remember her as a little lassie, I remember as a painful teenager, I remember her as an elegant lady and I remember her always, as my little sister.

Kiddo, I miss you LOADS.

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Coincidence…?

I was having a chat with a mate a few days ago and this just dawned on us that I’ve had 3 really key intimate relationships and they have ALL finally ended this week- the week of July 19.

Relationship #1:

My first love (FL). Yeah, call in puppy love or whatever- I loved him and that’s all I believe in. He was my best friend for years and then we started dating… we were hardly together a few months when he moved to a different city (long distance #1). Even though we were complete kids and didn’t realise the depth of our decisions, we decided to get married or well, make a promise to each other for when it was legal! However a month later, he drowned in the violent sea and I lost the will to swim and to believe in love. FL, you know who you are and I still love you. This happened July 19, 1996. 14 years on, I still feel the pain and I still miss you.

Relationship #2:

My second love (SL) and I had an up and down relationship from the very beginning. We were never on the same page, yet we had a great time together- we loved each other, we shared some amazing chemistry and we were together for 5 years- on and off. We were more off than on and mostly due to us being in different cities in the same country. Whenever we weren’t together we had other relationships too but somehow we ended up coming back to each other for the chats, the laughs, the comfort and the love. I’ll be lying if I didn’t admit to our fantastic sex life too- it was beautiful. Finally, in 2007, July 21- we called in quits- I think the main reason was I had been with another guy (TL) and was on a break with him but missed him and couldn’t do a thing with SL. We are still friends, we still tend to gravitate towards each other when single but realise there is no future for us together and so have made a conscious effort to be just friends and finally succeeded at it. However, he will always be the one I’ll remember for his patience and his care to help me deal with my parent’s split and the one who made me believe in love again. Thank you SL- I hope you find a lady worthy of your love and a lady who has the capacity to give you a lot more than I can!

Relationship #3:

My third love (TL). Known him since I was 8, we were mates as kids, we were friends through the teenage years, we knew each other through each other’s relationships, we knew everything good and bad about each other and we cared for each other ALOT. A few years ago, we started talking on the phone a lot and so we got closer and closer to the extent we were talking to each other about 5-6 hours a week! Slowly the friendship turned to love for TL, while I was still with SL. Not wanting to cheat, I told him that. However, everytime I broke up with SL, TL would be there- as a friend but wanting more and then it happened, he got more. And so did I. We got engaged Dec 31, 2007- technically only a few months after we really got exclusive but we were very comfortable with the idea and we loved each other and we had a very strong foundation. Exactly 2 years ago today, July 24, 2008- I gave back the ring. I couldn’t marry someone who was competing with me- we were meant to support each other and not feel threatened by each other’s careers. I love you TL- I always will- but sadly, only as a friend. I am too ambitious for you and I want you to reach the potential you have in you but I can’t stand on the side and see you just coast along and be happy. I wanted you to be a man, my man but sadly I got a boy and I just couldn’t deal with it. I am sorry for the pain I have caused and I hope someday you’ll realise the amazing person you are. I wish you luck, love and happiness. I hope someday you have the strength to be with a strong woman and not a yes-woman, as a friend who has known you for so many years, I really do. I miss you and I miss our friendship but I do not miss our relationship.

Weird eh?

3 major loves- many other relationships but not love-

3 heart breaks- well more too but not as bad as these-

3 different dates- 3 different years but all in the same week!

Is this a coincidence or because they come in threes, I can now move on?!

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टिप टिप बारिश बरसे

So the weather forecast said it was meant to rain crazy today and for a very long time, it seemed we had managed to avoid it but obviously Mother Nature had other plans and so it poured, and I mean- it was like monsoon in Ireland, so so so cool. Well, I would say that because I was sitting inside a closed room, enjoying a great conversation with some of the boys on my team and looking out at the rain. Due to the heat, it is humid and so much more like monsoon.

Some of my favourite memories of the rains through my childhood are:

  • Going for a run and getting absolutely soaked to the bone
  • Sitting under an awning, in a car, and drinking hot, sweet, milky tea while eating pakodas
  • Sitting on my swing in my house and enjoying the rain
  • Playing music (something poppy or something romantic or something emotive) and dancing to it in the open
  • Trying (and trying being the most operative word here) to be poetic
  • Trying to compose a new song (yeah, right! haven’t done that in 10 years!)
  • Sitting inside while it rained outside and just saw the rain fall

Today, while walking home, after the rain had stopped, the breeze caused the trees to wet me- just enough for me to feel I had stepped back to the days of wet Delhi, open my arms wide and enjoy the raindrops. The best bet was that it felt great- for once, I didn’t feel cold, I didn’t feel the need to dry myself but I could enjoy the feeling of rain in Ireland and the worst bit- the need to get my suit dry-cleaned now hehee.

It was potentially one of the most beautiful feelings I have felt in such a long time. If I could bottle the smell of freshly wet dry earth and bottle it, I would use it as a perfume ALL the time- if only to remind me of happy times, nice thoughts and the fabulousness provided by our environment!

P.S. The title just says “Tip Tip It Rains” but its so much more beautiful in Hindi!

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