Tag Archives: Friendship

Sep 23, Tuesday: A Beautiful Moment

About 2.5 years ago, I was trying to start a new business (it never got legs!) and was therefore meeting a lot of influential people as part of it.

One of those meetings took me to a lunch meeting with a very high powered CEO who was also an ex-AIESECer I had never met.

What was meant to be a one hour chat, ended up being a 3 hour conversation with loads of ideas, lots of thoughts and a whole load of fun discussions that have since led to a strong friendship, a working relationship and a mentoring aspect.

I am absolutely delighted that a simple email could open up so much! I was on a high that day from the lunch and I am on a high today on the memory.

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July 8, Tuesday: A Beautiful Moment

Yesterday, I called over to a friend’s to meet her dog, see her house and get a feel of their life to mind their place during their holidays. When I walked in, the dog came up to me and instantly we were the best of friends. She is a young pup, lean and tall and very cute- made me want a dog instantly!

However, it really made me miss my childhood dog- the only dog that I ever rode as a horse, the only dog that let me believe I was in charge when I clearly isn’t, the only dog that shared her bowl of water with me, the only dog who ever heard me cry (& then called my mother- I was a soft crier!), the only dog that was well and truly mine. I miss you, beautiful young mad thing- I love you still. Thanks for the beautiful memories.

dogs

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“It’s not you, it’s me”

Classic break up line all right but is that all it is? Or is there some truth in there?

Since 2010, I have lived with 2 separate friends and in each, I have initiated a change in our relationship- whether it was colleagues, housemates, business partners, etc. Both of them were my best friends when it started but somehow I felt like I had been through a break up each time!

(Somehow, romantic breakups are easier to take!)

I decided to take a moment to step back, reflect and see what the learning in this was- after all, losing friends is never fun. In both scenarios, I still consider them friends and will be there for them, should they reach out.

1. Court a friendship: If a friend is not interested in responding to your courting attempts, take the hint!
2. Know your boundaries: When we start dating, we know what we wouldn’t take for in our partners. Similarly, know the boundaries and when you are not feeling the love, distance yourself.
3. Stick to your morals: I believe in friendship forever, I do believe it transitions shape and form through the years. So if a person has been a friend and we haven’t had a falling out, I will always do my best to be there for them.
4. Quality time: The BIGGEST thing to me. In both those cases, we were spending a lot of time together but never truly quality time. Sometimes it is about the time together, doing something different, experiencing a new activity or whatever else!

After having spoken to friends who have known me a lot longer, a lot shorter, a lot better, only a little, I feel no one is ever at fault- I am sure I did something to upset them for them to stop considering me a friend or showing me the love at least but I hope that in the process, no one was really hurt!

Enemy vs friend

Reach out and let your friends know you care!

 

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Run…

To all my close friends who give out to me for not having turned to them:

i almost run to youThank you your amazing friendship in 2013 and here’s to more good times in 2014! Have a fab new year 🙂 Lotsa love xxx

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Jul 23 Tuesday: A Brilliant Moment

There is no way this moment captures my holiday better than anything else for me and it is something I want to preserve in my memory for a long time!

On the way back from Cuba towards the airport, Winnie and I thought we would surprise each other by just sharing a postcard/ letter about how much we had enjoyed the time together. All through the trip, we kept having the same thoughts, saying the same thing etc and got somewhat irritated at it too but to see it in writing at the end of the trip was just the icing on the cake we needed…

Thanks Winnie for being such amazingly good company and for sharing one of my best holidays with me- here’s to many more adventures together! Looking forward to our Caribbean adventure atleast once every 3 years!

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Kahlil Gibran says..

In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Such a beautiful quote, too long to tweet so I am ‘saving’ it here!

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A Comfortable Silence

 

friends pick or lie

I remember scoffing at the idea of a friendship being a true friendship when the 2 people could spend time in silence… and today, I realised how true those words are, yet again.

I spent a whole evening- almost 7 hours with The Shrew, we were both wrecked, hadn’t spent time in ages and just needed to hang out together and so we did. We hardly spoke, watched 4 different movies and ate all sorts of sh!te but it was comfortable and chilled and something we just needed to do together.

I love my friends- they are the best. Thank you world for giving me the best set of friends!

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An alpha and an alpha

The other day, a mate and I were talking about relationships- we both agreed that the best/ ideal scenario is when a couple can retain their identities as individuals and form a new identity as themselves. Also, we know that it is not too idealistic a scenario as we have seen a lot of examples of such in our lives.

However, I was chatting to another mate and they commented that an Alpha and an Alpha could never gel. For obvious reasons, this got my goat! We have seen how many posts I have written about the brilliance that is the combination of these two.

And this got me thinking… so here’s what makes a good Alpha-Alpha relation work and be awesome, in my opinion. A lot of these are good relationship rules in my head but then again- I have never understood a non-Alpha-Alpha relationship so…. :

– They need to be friends first
– They need to have their own interests and know what they like or don’t
– Their relationship needs to be built on trust, loyalty, respect
– The relationship needs to be well balanced between depending and letting the other person depend
– The relationship needs to have more areas of support than of competition
– Both people need to retain their individual personalities- Goes without saying, they need to have awesome chemistry

In other words, if two strong personalities can be supportive friends and also be lovers, it could really work. Idealism or realism, I am not sure but I like to believe the latter!

perfect relationship

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Cuppa tea…

Sometimes, all it takes is a cuppa tea to know all is well!

For the first time, since we decided to stop being business partners earlier this year, Ryan and I caught up- we didn’t really discuss work, we didn’t really discuss anything business, we did discuss the global markets, we did discuss the local economy, we did talk of common friends, I slagged him for some stuff, he slagged me about Red (which I ended up telling him without realising that he didn’t know- darn!!) and basically, we did what mates do- hang out!

i will laugh at uYup, at the end of the day, we both know, if nothing else- we will always have some stuff to slag each other about! Here’s to the new chapter in our friendship- I am very excited and looking forward to it 🙂 Even if the new chapter implies I can’t tell him anything confidential anymore as he can keep nothing from Tigger and well, I don’t like that- I prefer to tell her myself if I want her to know, especially the secrets. Ah well, new chapter!

(This may just be what they call maturity!)

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“I have your back”

These are words you hear from someone who:
– either means it and often doesn’t say them, ‘cos it’s inherently just known
OR
– someone who says it but doesn’t really mean it!

I have heard them often but the best bit is I know who are the people in the former category and I know they have my back and I sure as heck hope they know I have theirs. The other day, someone tried to slag one of my mates behind his back and it was not one of those funny teasing comments but a malicious one and I got really fired up. I was told to calm down and not take it so personally- initially I thought I might have overreacted but realised actually, I was in the right- if someone said something like that about me behind my back, in the presence of one of my true friends I know they would have done the same.

I can slag my mates ‘cos they know I mean it in jest but buster, if you cross that line, you have me to deal with.

And funnily enough, I came across these pics on facebook:

I am, once again, really glad I have an awesome set of friends- some who would do a lot for me, some who would use me, some who I hang out and some who are just strangers in the night.

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Love ♥ Love ♥ Love!

For all my cynicism and dislike of this Hallmark occasion, I love to celebrate love and I love love.

So as an ode to love, to the friends in my life, to the family I am born into, to the families I have adopted as mine, here is a collection of pictures of love that I have gathered from round the internet.

– For most of my family- this IS the definition of True Love.

– A medicine cabinet essential- found in the best of friends and most of the family

– An understanding of true love

– Picture perfect for Valentine’s…

– All the couples above need is a glass of this:

– Some see true love to be this, and I must admit I think I am one of them:

– To some it means and though I like this too, I find a true friendship forms the best basis for a beautiful partnership

– I suppose this captures what I expect of love better:

– Yet I have a fairytale notion of this:

– And a post about love without me bringing in a bit of geekiness!

– And finally, this is why I am not a fan of Valentine’s day!

And so with a heart full of love for everyone, for the guys I have dated, for the guys I am dating, for the guys I will date, for the friends in my life, for the families I am lucky ot have been born into and been accepted by, for the people I see on the street, basically for everyone, Happy Valentine’s Day!

♥♥♥

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Slumber Party with MY housemate

Last night was one of those nights that was just AMAZING in so many ways!

I learnt things I didn’t want to, I saw a movie I had always wanted to have the courage to see, I cried, I laughed, I talked and so did Candy.

Despite the fact that we had our own beds in our own home, we were like 2 giggly (or not so giggly) girls at a slumber party and in many ways, it was one of the best slumber parties EVER- we opened up, we talked, we shared, we laughed, we cried, we said things we normally wouldn’t, we were vulnerable, we were ourselves and we still love each other, infact even more so.

It is SO good to have such an amazing connection with such a beautiful person- inside and out. I am truly blessed and I am glad we had the night we did even if I am absolutely dying today! And the best bit, it was so NOT planned!

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Missing…

The very thought that Ryan may not even be in my life this week is depressing- and the fact that I am keeping my distance till we have our chat means I am already missing him.

😦

PS Yes I know, we are unlikely to not remain friends but still… there is always that danger!

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Decision Made

I am taking back the right to MY happiness back from whoever took it. Simple as.

Today has been a tough day- when I am being told I am bullsh!tting, given out for correcting people when they have practically lied to me/ underperformed/ not done anything for the benefit of the organisation, the person giving out to me deserves to be shot especially since the person doesn’t know how to manage.

And when I am asked why I am so angry and I say “I told you yesterday”, the reaction is “you mean, this is about a dinner?” FFS- Not about dinner, YOU TWAT, it’s about the conversation I referred to. The one we need to have for me to carry on without affecting the business.

So I have made a decision, I have till Sunday evening to make this dinner happen- ideal day for me is Thursday in Dublin- somewhere quiet. Till then, I am not going into the office- I will go for the 2 meetings I have on Tuesday, 1 on Wednesday and then I am gonna feck off somewhere few can find me- somewhere I can relax, somewhere I can chill, somewhere I can get a walk, somewhere I can be me, somewhere I can try and feel better, somewhere where I don’t feel the need to kill someone.

And if the dinner has not happened till then, come Monday, I walk into the office and print a letter that I certainly don’t want to print in these circumstances.

This means I will potentially be homeless, a best-friend short, jobless, desperately sad but relieved and at the end of it all, happy.

Thank you Dr. F, you have done it again. I adores you.
Thank you all my friends who called me today- whether offering to come down to give me a hug/ take me out for dinner/ drive me somewhere else or those who offered to pay for a flight for me to wherever they were or those who called me to just hear me cry. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO very lucky to have the support and the people I have.

If 3 of my friends (and one of them is pretty impatient herself) who know I am not patient think I have shown the patience and restraint of a dozen saints, think I have been treated like scum, think I have been disrespected, think I have made the wrong decision and realise I am now at breaking point, I can only imagine how broken I must have sounded on the phone today.

I am not in a good spot- even breaking my engagement and having my whole life taken away, even seeing my horse die, even getting r@ped (sorry, I can’t spell it still), even knowing my father will never come back in my life has not made me realise how weak I truly am without contentment.

Dear world, dear angels, dear universe, dear friends- thank you for the strength so far but I am now very vulnerable and weak and need it more than ever- sorry about that- I promise to get better soon, I have made a decision and now I need to bide my time till either of the moves happen- it’s not been easy.

And now to plaster a smile and go on a “first” date with this runner I met recently.

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And then, I laughed

Yesterday, after what seems like ages, I feel I laughed.

It was a good day for Ryan- one of his lifelong dreams came true- he picked up his new car- a car he has been wanting for a very long time. It is an absolutely beauty, a dream to drive and something he truly deserves. What amazed me is the pride I felt for him as he picked the car! I suspected a part of me would be jealous or I would feel a twinge of regret at some of the decisions I have made that haven’t allowed me to get a car like that but all I felt was a feeling of contentment as I saw the man who means the most to me achieve something he had been working towards for so long!

And when we took his Kelly for a drive, the two of us genuinely laughed! We laughed and shared a moment of utter, pure contentment like none other. It was absolutely beautiful. And then we went out for dinner with some of our friends- a lovely evening of tea, chats and just pure craic. And at some stage, Ryan and I started arguing and I kicked him and he hit me back etc but again, all of us just laughed. It was lovely. Absolutely lovely.

After a very long time, or so it seems, we laughed like we used to.

There is something about a good friendship and it really makes my day when things are good. All’s well that ends well.

x

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