Tag Archives: Friends

They Care

Recently, I went through a bumpy few days- life and all that jazz… it was great to see how many of my friends are there for me and how they remember little bits and pieces to show me they care. Life rocks 🙂

because they care

Do something small for someone ‘cos they care- well, I got mango!

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Bliss.

I characterise March as Bliss. What a wonderful month it has been:
– Personally: some fantastic memories created with Red, lots of laugh and tonnes of parties, great moments with loved ones
– Socially: hung out with some great people, got to make new friends, re-bonded with some old ones
– Professionally: all goes according to plan, which makes me happy, content and satisfied.

What else does one need really?! Laughs, Friends and Good times x

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Sunrise Parties!

Through late teens, college, early 20s, most of us party and I was certainly no less- heralding a new day in as I went off to grab a shut-eye was rather usual for me.

However, as time gets on, life goes on, the people you party with become more immersed in practical lives as do you yourself often, energy levels drop and it seems easier to just reduce seeing a sunrise before sleep.

This week feels special- 2 nights, not 1 but 2! I would normally consider myself lucky to get 6 nights a year of such parties, VERY lucky actually so to get 2 in the course of 5 days is pretty epic and encouraging to realise I ain’t all that old!

Both parties, very different- one was a big gang who went out dancing and ended up at a house party with decks and all while the other was movies, chats, fire and dancing in the jammies… ah life, you beauty.

It’s good to go for a snooze as the birds chirp and the sun rises.
It’s great to get the system out of whack, even if it takes longer to fall back into a rhythm.
It’s amazing to realise I am surrounded by some very beautiful people.

Ah life, you beauty 🙂

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Whoop!! I called it!

February has been AN epic month:

  • Work has kicked a$$
  • I have had surprise lunches, dinners, spontaneous plans that have been fun
  • Attended parties, enjoyed massages, had dates with me
  • Opened up some amazing conversations with people I enjoy discussions with
  • Cooked some delish dishes
  • Written out my plan for the next while
  • Embraced some beautiful moments with friends and family
  • Soaked in some rays
  • Planned a new adventure
  • Accepted (what feels like a million) wedding invites of people I care about
  • Laughed, laughed and laughed some more
  • Loved, loved my friends, loved my family, loved myself and loved my life

I am a truly happy person today, cocooned in happiness that radiates from every pore of me!

Told you it was going to rock, didn’t I?!
Hope you had a fab Feb too and here’s to an amazing March! May it be as brilliant 🙂 xx

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A 5 hour cuppa!

“So, let’s meet for a cup of tea” slowly becomes a lot of giggles, tonnes of laughter, honest chats, confessions, swapping of ideologies, one knows they have found a kindred spirit.

Today was one such day and I want to mark it, mark it for posterity about how wonderful a feeling it is to meet someone special, someone beautiful and someone so very genuine!

If there is one thing I believe in, for a strong foundation of friendships, these moments are important but they are better when they have been a long time coming… a friendship that sparks from the moment you meet is good but inseparables from point 0 fizzles as quickly as it starts and thus, I consider myself extremely lucky that it took us over 3 years, innumerable parties to have this beautiful one on one.

What a fab way to kick off this week! If this is what 2016 has in store, I am even more excited 🙂 x

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And then, it happened again!

Well, this time it wasn’t a dream both of us had but once again I dreamed of the same person as a few days ago!

In this dream, I was out for a run with the help of a physio, with Red and bump into the girl I used to think was my best friend. She started helping me, much to my astonishment and so I asked her ‘why’. And she responded by saying “‘cos she cared”.

It was a sad and poignant feeling- I realised I still care for the two of them, knowing me- I always will and it’s sad it has come to this stage. While driving today, I realised how I feel.

Imagine a playground and in the middle of it, a glasshouse. In this playground, there’s a lot of stones, gravel and bits kids throw around and play with using the glasshouse as something to avoid. One day, a kid throws a stone breaking the glasshouse. It’s not the fault of the person who put up in the glasshouse in the wrong place obviously but of the kid who threw the stone.

I am that kid. Well, at least I feel like that. I truly thought I had achieved closure but right now, I wonder and I sincerely hope it comes soon. I am done with this sh!t.

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Freaky or freaky?!

Like almost every other Sunday morning, I woke up, stretched and snuggled into Red… and as I woke up a little bit at a time, I started chatting…

It’s VERY rare for me to remember a dream but I mentioned having a dream about 2 people I used to be friends with and cared (probably weirdly still do) about and imagining a complete parallel reality that would not have been true even if things hadn’t gone down the route they did. That was not so weird, I am doing my whole washing off and assimilating 2015 internally thing BUT Red admitting he dreamt of the 4 of us too but a different scenario- again one not possible either. HOW IS THAT NOT WEIRD?!

Somehow though this has helped me understand the whole situation better and find closure- I understand the role each one of us has played, how each and every one of us is at fault and how it truly started with me not listening to my gut the first, second or third time! I am glad I did NOT listen to my gut to ask her down for a weekend in one of the most beautiful houses I know for some R&R earlier this summer- to catch up, to figure what’s going on and to maybe make it possible to be civil. I know things may be nicer today but I think despite all the other casualties, despite the others affected, despite the pain all of us have felt, I am glad we all know where we stand and I can, somehow, accept it all.

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I re-emerged!

Tonight, I was out for dinner with 2 of my best friends- these are girls I have known for years, hugged, cried, partied with, laughed with, been in hospitals with (not all at the same time), etc etc etc- these are MY girls. I am VERY lucky that I have a lot of such girlies in my life 🙂

So we did our usual once every 4-6 week dinner catch up and it was, as always, delightful, too short and once again, we had to be removed from the premises because we lost track of time. Yup, even after marriages, babies and such, when we get together, it’s still a little silly (on club oranges too, I will have you know- it’s all the sugar from the fruit, I tells thee!!)

As we were talking, I somehow felt I have come out of a shell, after almost a good few years, I laughed and slagged the way I used to, I talked as much as I used to- I hadn’t realised how much I had changed till I felt like this again- whether it’s the moon, the time of the month, the friends, the mood I was in or just the decision I made last week but all in all, it’s a pretty awesome way to be and I love it.

I am so glad I am on such a high… the high of life… long may it continue xxx

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Influenced or not…

As we get older, we are always taught to think for your own, not to care about what others think, follow our gut, believe our instinct and so on… Truly, they all make sense, self esteem, having faith in our decisions and making our own choices are important.

However, I wonder if it is truly possible to not be influenced by the people around us. If that was the case, why do the 5 people we spend the most time with affect us? If that was so, why do we hope our families get along? if that was the case, why are we all not completely selfish? Inately, it is because we are human and we don’t like to be all on our own and as a community, we genuinely look out for each other.

The other way, I was chatting about certain decisions I have made in my life and how things have worked out.. I would love to say I made the decisions all by myself and was not affected by the comments others made but that would be lying to myself. I was, am and almost definitely will be affected by what people think but I think as I get older, I have the ability to discern who are the people who truly matter- as life happens, some of my closest friends are not the ones I see most often, nor are they the peeps I speak to the most and there are others I have become very close to and care loads about but I know which camp impacts certain decisions for me more than the others.

With so many self empowering slogans flying around, I think we need to take a moment to reflect on all the support we get from everyone else and how weak we would be without them on our sides! Thank you to those of you who mean the world to me, who genuinely care, who truly want the best for me and still the best ones to go out on the tiles with. Love you all! x

good friends & real friends

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The balance of the good hearted moaners!

The other day, I was chatting to this couple with whom I have become very good friends- we were realising how friendships have changed and how some we thought would always be around are no longer important, cherished, easy or possible.

It basically got us talking about the different philosophies we all choose to decide who to stay with and who to avoid… and I spoke of the dilemma I had gone through a few months ago where during my cull, I had realised there are some people I quite like, who mean well and are genuinely nice people but just not the ones I want to spend a lot of time with as they can be rather dull or stubborn and more often than not, end up complaining loads. A tricky one eh… how does it all balance up and I found the easiest solution was to reduce the amount of time I spent with them, switch off the brain that gets irked up and just stay calm till I get home and punch a pillow or breathe deeply on the walk home or do the forgiving exercise until I am comfortable enough with it.

Am I doing the right thing or this is the philosophy to follow… I dunno but it works for me, it allows me to keep good people around me in a way I like… all about the balance!

Focus on those who make you smile

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Good idea

I am an exceptionally lucky lady and very grateful for that- I have an amazing partner (even as I do consider the possibility of us having to let practicality win and me head away) and some of the world’s most fantastic people in my circle of friends. I was reminded of this as I spent an amazing weekend with some fun people who I can laugh with, experiment my cooking on, be silly with and share serious conversations with.

Always, surround yourself with the people you love and admire. Boo to the negativity and the hassle of anything else.

girlfriend

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Something beautiful

So the other day I was talking about the end of a very close friendship to another friend.

For obvious reasons, I am sad- it’s a huge part of my life and I do feel sad that thing went this sour but they do make for great memories.

She said to me, “The best way to look at it is that for each of you, the most beautiful thing of your lives emerged from the embers of this friendship.”

That’s such a beautiful thought!
#lookatthesilverlining

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Every goodbye is a sad goodbye

When I was young my mother always warned me to not resist a transition- she advised me that each relationship will eventually change and the best thing to do is adapt with it. Most of the times, I have.

In each case, I have learnt that the other person has adapted too.
In those, where either one of us has been unable to adapt, we have moved apart- sad as it may be, such is life.

Each goodbye hurts, some more than others, for sure.
The ones that hurt the most are the ones where you realise that everyone involved potentially wasted their time because at the end of it all- no matter what, each friendship gives people something beautiful but sometimes you wonder does it all weigh up!

And then there are ones that despite having been dead for a good few years, keep showing up in some form and each time, the hurt deepens and doesn’t get better with time. I look forward to the day when I can look back at each goodbye with that sense of contentment knowing we all gave it our best, it wasn’t to be but there’s no pain on either side (not that I will be able to judge the other side).

In the meantime, to all the friendships I refer to above:
I thank you, I forgive you, I am sorry, I love you, Go in peace.

PS happy birthday FL, I miss you (or the idea of you, I dunno which!!) and that was a goodbye I never got to say.

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Punch!

Somedays all one wants to do is remember the boxing days, don on some gloves and punch the sh!t out of a punching bag!
The one thing that keep it sane for me is the really good set of people around me to pick me up, guide me, help me, make me laugh and just the ones who also understand trust and loyalty along the same vein that I do.

The only thing stopping me from truly having a punching session is a recent conversation with a friend after almost a year. For us, that’s usual- we tend to do that. She has seen me through so much, known aspects of me that few others have (mostly due to the fact that she has known me so long), been there when I broke my heart each time, turned to me every time her heart was broken, advised me when I took a misstep, looked at me for guidance when things weren’t necessarily perfect for her… it has been about 4 years since we saw each other in person, but when we are in 2 different continents and travel patterns differ, it can be tricky to make paths cross! It is also a confirmation yet again that my gut tends to be right.

Her words to me made me feel great, happy and accepting of the life situation I am in currently- the good, the bad, the exceptionally ugly, the not so ugly, the stressing, the irritating and the fun and the challenging. Her belief in my ethical compass and morals has further grounded me in my journey of life.

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You Just Know

Recently, a friend of mine was talking to me about her experience with an ex.

Even though it’s been 4 years since they parted ways (and a good thing it was too), he texted her out of the blue wanting to renew relations (as if). Through the tone of his texts, she could tell what he was thinking.

This got me thinking:
– Does she know ‘cos of the amount of time they spent together?
– Does she know ‘cos that’s what she wants to think even if she disagrees with wanting to feel that way?
– Does she know ‘cos she has moved on and he hasn’t?

How do you know?
And how do you know what you are thinking is right or not?
Do we really need to turn to such measures to feel better about ourselves?

I know I am guilty of this too- is this just a survival instinct or is this a way of justifying our behaviour?!

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To all those I knew…

Over the years, I have had to say goodbye to a lot of friends.
I have learnt, it’s usually not necessarily personal but a diversion of two people with two different ideologies and priorities.

I saw this today and it made me smile: this captures it beautifully.

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Thank you for the memories, you all.

More importantly, thank you for letting go. Wish you all the very best x

 

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Dec 9, Tuesday: A Beautiful Memory

This is a memory that never actually happened- for some reason, I still talk of it as if it did!

Many moons ago, when I broke up with TL, I recall Ryan and me talking about some stuff. One evening, we were discussing the company and I had given a lot of advice (as we both did to each other then) on business etc. When he learnt I was not coming to visit Dublin the next month as was my original plan, he decided to come to India- the way the cheap flights worked out for him meant he would be here for my first time seeing TL since our break up and TL’s father’s birthday which I was invited to.

He arrived on a Saturday and for some reason, I claim he only decided on a Wednesday and arrived 3 days later to support me.

Today, I have good memories of that trip but I do genuinely wonder what made me make up such a story?!

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So be it!

Over the past 10 days, I have been at odds with Ryan.

He thinks I said something I shouldn’t have and I think he jumped to conclusions he shouldn’t have- it is an obvious misunderstanding but I have tried to make amends and make calls which have been ignored.

Being told to apologise to him last night peeved me off- we are both at fault and I did make move but haven’t been acknowledged and am tired of him never making a gesture. To some extent, I suspect ego will win this war and a part of me is too tired to care.

Ryan, 

You have been a very good friend and a great business partner in the past- we have had our differences on many levels and I am sorry to see our friendship has reached the point that it has. I have no clue where this junction will take us but at this point, I am going to leave it to the universe to guide, decide and lead.

I wish you luck with everything and the future. Hopefully someday we can be egoless and adults about this and you will know an apology is a two way street.

Joy.

90% conflict due to tone

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Written a 108 times individually- leaving it to the powers that be. So be it!

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Nov 17, Monday: Gratitude

1. Friends
As time has gone by- I have genuinely learnt the worth of 5 awesome friends vs 50 good ones, even if those 5 awesome aren’t always around for me and drive me nuts! In the last while, I am reminded how lucky I am- despite getting pissed off with Ryan for jumping to conclusions & not wanting to clear the air, feeling abused by Jiju’s saali who thinks I have all the time on earth to do her work but none when I need help, a little underwhelmed by The Shrew for not having any time when I need advice, feeling exceptionally angry at one of the guys for wanting me to help with something non urgent that he was meant to do and messed up his time management (not as a request but an order!). I am so lucky to have the friends who will bring me homemade cocktails for a b!tch session, friends who will help me change lights in my car where I can’t reach or friends who help me strike the balance with give and take!

2. Rant
A good rant (See above) is awesome. I love it- get it out of the system and let it go… once gone, it can’t fester.

3. Exercise
A good stretch, a bit of a sweat, sore arms, feeling the muscles… yeah, it’s nice to be able to do that, feel that and enjoy that!

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Sep 16, Tuesday: A Beautiful Moment

A few days ago, I caught up with some friends after a very long time:

3 for the first in over a decade
1 after 6 years
2 after 5

A few weeks, I had seen another friend after 12 years too!

It is such a fantastic feeling to talk about old days, walk down the memory lane and then also create new ones. I love the fact that even after so many years, I have the ability to hang out with these people and enjoy their company!

Lucky, lucky me. x

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Sep 2, Tuesday: A Beautiful Moment

Many years ago, Tigger and I were coming back from a party in a taxi just before we embarked on our adventure around Peru and Ecuador. I remember her turning to me, giving me a hug and telling me how much she loved me, cared for me and how I was her closest friend.

Over the years, we became closer, and then we drifted apart, we had our differences but we patched them away. We may have both gone through our phases of not being the happiest with our friendship but times like yesterday, times like the moment in the car, times like sipping pisco sours on the boat in the galapagos remind me of what we have shared.

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Aug 26, Tuesday: A Beautiful Moment

Years ago, I was in Canada with 600 odd other people. Some of them became good friends, others and I kept in touch thanks to Facebook and few of us have become good friends. Recently I met one of those people and it was so good to be sipping coffee one saturday afternoon, swapping stories of then and sharing experiences of the now. There was no awkwardness, there was no oddness, there was just a simple shared understanding of a global world and the issues of keeping in regular contact, there was just pure friendship.

I love the memories from 12 years ago and I love the memory I made on Saturday.

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Mar 3, Monday: Gratitude

Red
Every so often I have to thank Red for just being so wonderful- wonderfully able to drive me nuts and bring me back down to reality too 🙂 Thank you, my love.

Me time
Having my house all to myself- no dog, no housemates, no partner, no guests and just some me time is something I truly enjoy and cherish when I get it!

Friends
I am lucky- simple as!

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And so I am peeved…

… maybe irrationally, but I am!

The other day I was trying to make some plans with a few friends. 2 friends responded positively. Since then, I worked out the logistics, did some shopping for bits & bobs etc, turned down other plans and so forth… only for them to cancel for other social engagements they agreed to go to! And in all honesty, it actually suits me better but still!

FFS- makes me feel like second rate citizen in their eyes.

On one hand, they are constantly saying they want to be more social, see more of us, hang out with us but on the other hand, more often than not, they cancel.

Ball is totally in their court- no longer am I am going to try and include them in anything.

candle in the dark

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Jan 13 Monday: Gratitude

1. Travel
I love to travel. The fact that I have made it to Cork for a weekend already and that I am heading home in a few weeks is a reminder how lucky I am to call two beautiful countries my home.

2. Friends
I caught up with some good old mates in the last while and some new ones- all in all, I am surrounded by some lovely people!

3. Optimism
When things seem bleak, days seem dark, there is hope- sometimes in the form of a coffee, sometimes an email but always hope!

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Nov 18 Monday: Gratitude

1. Friends
Been a while since I just thanked my lucky stars for having the friends and family I do. They rock!

2. Work
Lucky to have the work I do and the options I do. Not everyone is as lucky and I am indeed grateful.

3. Hope
If we gave up on hope, where would we be?!

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October 21 Monday: Gratitude

Ability to Talk
I gave a speech on Saturday about life and living, achieving dreams etc- was brilliant craic and even though I spoke for 50% the time I originally planned to, I had a great time and I think the crowd response was brilliant.

Friends
I am very very very lucky to have great friends and even luckier to have found some amazing new ones through Red. Was out with them over the weekend and they have all agreed to a teen-patti and Indian themed night to help with my homesickness! And the best bit- Red gets to host it 😉

Happiness
I am happy, genuinely happy. Scared of some decisions I am taking, nervously excited about what the future holds but happy. Sometimes, we forget how lucky we are.

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Oct 11 Friday: A catch up of all I missed during the week

Beautiful Moment

One of the most important factors of our lives are our friends. I am truly blessed to have the ones I do.

As I sat and discussed life with a few friends on Monday, I realised that even though some think they are close friends, they may never be and some take you by surprise. The pampering from The Shrew, the encouragement from Beautiful, the optimism from Goofy, the realism from Winnie- all make me realise I was lucky I realised the moment those acquaintances crossed over to the dark side. I am truly lucky.

There’s little a glass of wine, a few biscuits and a heart to heart cannot fix.

Person of the Week

Dear Housemate,

I have known you a year, we have shared many a laughs and we continue to do so. You provide me with hipster advice, a sounding board, laughs and just pure craic.

Delighted we are mates- here’s to many more fun adventures ahead of us!

Love,
Joy.

The Week Gone By:

1. Caught up with 2 lecturers from my undergrad days
2. Delivered an excellent lecture
3. Created 2 new amazing strategies for some projects I am working on

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To my friends…

It’s been a tough few days so here’s why I love the fact that those of you who have been here for me are still here for me…

attracted cos of kindness, smile and laugh

And for those of you (a certain H among them) who know what I am going through and still haven’t reached out, I hope you mature up soon and here’s blessing you with love and kindness. I forgive you and ask you to forgive me.

And for those of you who aren’t around, I hope you have a good excuse 😉

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Sep 23 Monday: Gratitide

1. Sex
Enough said

2. Friends
I am blessed. I am very lucky. I hope to retain them forever and I hope to keep adding new ones in.

3. Ability to throw an outfit together
The past few weeks have had the need for me to be a little creative to wear the same wardrobe in a different manner and I am glad I have the ability to carry off pretty much everything, put different bits together and look good and appropriate (A boon for someone who doesn’t like shopping;))

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Sep 2 Monday: Gratitude

Happy September 🙂

1. Red’s interest in photography
I have had to do ALOT of photography for work recently and his interest and knowledge in this area has been absolutely invaluable. Thank God for the shared passion.

2. My interest in cooking
Red hurt himself the past week and was unable to perform a lot of simple things. I am glad I was able to help him by doing small everyday tasks like cooking healthy meals for him etc. If I had no interest, bread & butter would have become very stale!

3. Friends
Seriously, absolutely very lucky! Nothing I can say covers this enough!

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Aug 14: I seem to be making a habit of this :/

Aug 12: Gratitude:

1. Opportunities:
The things that come my way and the opportunities I have are amazing and awesome, I am lucky to be offered them, lucky to recognise them and luckiest to be able to seize them!

2. Hugs
I am a divil for hugs- I absolutely love hugs, especially the genuinely good ones! And I was lucky with the number of really tight, good ones I got this week. Loving it!

3. Festivals:
Being at a music festival for 5 of the past 7 weekends has been quite something for me. I am shattered and wrecked from it all but delighted with myself for having roughed it when needed, dressed up when required or chilled the rest… it has been fun to have been able to enjoy so much music!

Aug 13: A Brilliant Moment

About 2.5 years ago, Candy got engaged to a wonderful guy (who she went on not to marry for all the right reasons for both of them!). However, there are 2 moments about their engagement that I feel very privileged and touched about:
1. She informed me as soon as she could- even before she informed one of our closest friends and I really was touched about the fact that she cared about me enough and considered me close enough for that!
2. She asked me to be a bridesmaid- to me, that meant a lot!

I am indeed blessed with the friends and I have and when they appreciate my presence in their lives, I feel absolutely humbled to be a part of theirs. Thank you Universe for giving me the friends I have and letting me share so many beautiful memories and moments with them!

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Jul 29 Monday: Gratitude

A few hours late as I have been away but here goes:

1. Friends
I am exceptionally blessed with my friends- the last couple of days have reminded me that even more- seeing Tigger twice in 3 days, having some very honest chats with Lady, indoor picnics, partying with tonnes of others has been absolutely amazing and I have enjoyed each moment of it 🙂

2. Photography
I love taking photographs and I love traveling- combine the two and I am VERY happy. Going through my pictures and identifying the good from the bad has been/ is time consuming but SO much fun!

3. Love
And not just the romantic kind. I know I am not in a relationship with Red but to deny the romance is pure silliness. He may not be a poet, he may not buy me flowers but he does his own style and it works for me- I really enjoy it all! However, I am lucky to have ALL the love I have in my life.

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June 7 Monday: Gratitude

1. Happiness
Whether it is spending time with an old friend, whether it is reconnecting with a lost friend, whether it is sharing lunch with a new friend, whether it is having a laugh with good friends, whether it is a phone call from your family- being able to feel happy is pretty darn good and I love the fact that I can.

2. Romance
I am not the most romantic. I am not the couply sort but I enjoy my type of romance- be it silly giggles in the bed, a shared moment in a nightclub, a long hug to say bye, seeing a movie the other one really likes or whatever little thing that shows one cares. I may not be in a serious relationship and I know we are just having fun but that’s no reason to not care or not have some romance. The little things over the last few weeks have been really nice and brought many a smile to my face.

3. Friends
Connected to just about everything in my life- I love my friends, I am very lucky to have them, I am even luckier to be able to salvage the friendships when they reach a point where it could be a point of no return and I don’t ever want to take them for granted.

Thank you for everything in my life, dear World. It’s been a tough one but a fun & blessed one!

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“It’s all in words”

Yeah, cheesy me just quoted the BeeGees!

The image below is so beautiful and so true

a text can change the attitude

I had mentioned to a mate I was going for a very important meeting the other day and about 5 mins before the meeting, I got a text telling me how wonderful I am and how amazing it is that he knows me. Beautiful words to buoy my confidence and further enhance my mood for the meeting… thank you, you know who, for your support. I look forward to many more scones and chats!

So go on, send someone a few kind words today- you never know how it could lift them!

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May 27 Monday: Gratitude

1. Sunshine
Yup, many of us take the sun for granted. But when you live in Ireland and you are more often pasty and pale rather than brown and coloured, this is something you are grateful for, you appreciate and you love. Thank you Weather Gods- please give us a few more days of sunshine, a few more days of happiness and smiles and please, let the next 5 weekends be dry and warm too.
Cannot wait for the constant sunshine in Cuba…

2. Friends & family
Yup, I repeat myself like a broken record. But honestly, with NLP looking out for me, with The Shrew just minding me, with Lady caring for me- people I have known only a year, I realise how lucky I am to have these people in my life. And all the while, I have kept my older (not necessarily by age, in case any of you get into a huff!) friends too…

3. My E/I Quotient
I am not the most intelligent nor the most empathic person I know. However, what I have I am delighted with- I am glad I have a good mix of both the emotional and intelligent. And I am even gladder I have the sense to use it all…

Thank you Universe for everything, I truly appreciate all that I have, all that I have been given and all that is yet to come my way.

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A Comfortable Silence

 

friends pick or lie

I remember scoffing at the idea of a friendship being a true friendship when the 2 people could spend time in silence… and today, I realised how true those words are, yet again.

I spent a whole evening- almost 7 hours with The Shrew, we were both wrecked, hadn’t spent time in ages and just needed to hang out together and so we did. We hardly spoke, watched 4 different movies and ate all sorts of sh!te but it was comfortable and chilled and something we just needed to do together.

I love my friends- they are the best. Thank you world for giving me the best set of friends!

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May 13 Monday: Gratitude

1. Universe:
On Friday, I was really angry about something and literally 10 mins after I kinda started making peace with it, things turned- completely. So I thank myself for being able to let go, for having the sense to deal with it the way I did and for life for making it all so much better!

2. Family & Friends:
My mother hurt herself on Saturday. Reminds me once again how lucky I am.
I am very blessed to have the friends I do. VERY VERY VERY.

3. Health:
We tend to take our health so much for granted- I am definitely at fault, despite all my medical history.

I know this is becoming a repetitive weekly post but it reminds me how lucky I am every single time!

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May 10 Friday: The Week Gone By

1. Heard some awesome music over the weekend, including a trip down to the countryside for some
2. Brilliant catch up with certain friends of mine- both Monday and Wednesday
3. The chat with my younger sister today- helping her understand my business world a little more. Boo yeah!

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May 6 Monday: Gratitude

1. The Universe and the Law of Attraction
I cannot get over my luck over the music I got to listen to this weekend. I am still in awe of all the talent in this world, still have goosebumps of all the amazing sounds and still skipping with happiness.

2. Friends
If it hadn’t been for my friends, I would certainly have not enjoyed this life! I am oh so blessed with the right people in my life to enjoy my fabulous fortune with!

3. Family
My sister went through a surgery last week- hopefully the last and all seems to be on the mend fine. Also, my family held a special ceremony to bless certain opportunities in my life right now- all in all, their support and love means the world to me.

Thank  you ALL for all I have, for the love I have to give, for the love I receive, for the luck I have been experiencing and for the fabulously blessed life I lead.

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April 29 Monday: Gratitude

This week the 3 things I have to be most grateful to:

1. The friends that give me hope when all seems dead:
The Shrew on Wednesday when tears came down in a 5 star hotel bar
Candy for the hug and the laugh when she saw the tears in my eyes on Tuesday
Harry for the hope for working out a plan for one of my companies
Lady for the surprise dinner she hosted last week
Winnie for the chats on Wednesday and the follow up call with my mum, and the loooooong chat on Friday

2. The strength within me:
When all seems dead and without hope, I know I have the courage to keep going on.
When all seems dismal, I still try my best to find the silver lining to some extent.
When I do want to be looked after, I still know how to be independent.
When someone is looking after me, I know to accept it and let the guard down.

3. My life:
For all that I am giving out about it, for everytime I raise a doubt- I am in a VERY enviable position- great friends, I have a great job and am financially doing well, My companies seem to be getting some traction, My family is all doing all right, I lead a fabulous social life that is enviable by many

All in all, I am grateful for a lot of things but these would be the top 3 for me right now. I somehow suspect there will be a lot of repetition on Mondays but if it gives me the chance to stop and think and thank the world for all that surrounds me, then it is well worth it!

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April 26 Friday: The Week Gone By

1. The party last Friday- a brilliant night, felt so loved, so cared for and so blessed
2. The surprise dinner on Wednesday by Lady
3. Being looked after by Red last night when I felt I was about to die

Lucky lucky me. I am blessed.

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In the past year…

A lot happens in a year- I truly believe this:

a year

This time last year, I would have counted Tigger and Ryan as two of my closest friends, Candy & I were going through our own transition, I cared a fair amount more than I do about Chammiya, I didn’t really know Lady, I hadn’t met The Shrew.

However, more than that, I think I have finally understood why I hated 2012 as much as I did.

1. Of my trilogy of “best” friends, two of them were not there for me. The rocks and support I had were moved from under me and I felt my absolute core shift and me not understand it. I have always kept myself guarded in the past ‘cos of my dad- I let it down most to certain people and two of them used it to hurt me. And boy, they hurt me- not by getting together (I couldn’t be bothered by that) but by not realising that it affected my relationships with them individually. At no point, did they try to preserve the individual friendships we had but that’s the passion of a new relationship. At least they are happy. And hopefully soon, things will calm down a little. I do hope the image below always reminds me of the sort of romantic relationship I want and how I want to ensure my friendships remain unaffected so as not to be on this side of the scale.

relationship happiness

2. I felt I was more like my dad than not and I didn’t like it. I had ended my downward relationship with TL and been made to feel guilty. I ended my downward business relationship with Ryan and the guilt in me wrecked me. I felt I had walked out on 2 people who expected more from me, who wanted more from me and to whom I couldn’t give. I broke ties the way my father did. TSG was awesome in making me realise how different I really am.

Bitchology

3. I was with Roark this time last year and kinda hopeful about it. This year, I have been with Red for over 2 months now, we are not in a relationship and we may never have a future but I feel more safe and secure with him than I have in the longest time. He gets me. I do hope we are given a chance to figure out “us” but then again, c’est la vie.

when you both want

Last year, according to many friends I was stressed, I was wound up, I was scared, I came across unhappy and I truly lacked focus. I needed the year to build myself up. This year, everyone has seen a calmer sense in me- I have accepted my faults, my weaknesses, my shortcomings. I am stronger, I am softer and I am ready for the challenge that life throws my way- I have been lucky to have found some amazing people who have stepped in and decided to help me out. I am truly blessed. I am lucky. I have a fabulous life.

accept, confidence, fear

I also realised I have been second guessing everything, been looking for my father’s approval, been wanting to do it right and in the process, have gone against my instinct and therefore, ended up on a longer route to where I may have been going but hey, it’s finally beginning to get there- slow and steady eh? 😉

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Friends are like Shoes

Yup, you read it right and No, I am not drunk or high or any of those adjectives that you may wanna use!

I am basing this on an article I came across in Cosmpolitan in Feb 2011 (over 2 years ago, yeah!!)

shoes

The Ballet Pump Friend:
The friend to have to take it easy, not do anything crazy, be sensible with and just drink cups of tea with. The one to be there for you for sympathy.
I don’t think I have one of these- all my mates can play this role usually- depending on what it is I am looking for!

The Brogue Friend:
The one that you instantly click with- easy & trendy. Not a future planner, a great holiday fling & not necessarily always available.
These seem to be ALL my friends- The Shrew & The Beautiful are both very important aspects of my life, inspiring & successful ladies and both have entered my life in the past year! And the bond was almost the first 1 on 1 chat! However, in my case, I am lucky they are there when I need the ballet pump friend too 😉
Score- two in one!

Stiletto Friend:
Best party friend, as the name implies 😉
Again, all my mates can play this role but yeah, there are some who are only good for this, oops- great to party with, but terrible to have a deeper conversation with- someone you enjoy spending time with but not someone you can depend on for a wholesome conversation…

Statement Shoe Friend:
The one you call for a lunch date, to lighten your day and potentially the diva.
I seem to surround myself with these- partly, because for many, I suspect- I am this! I love individuality and I love it when they all show this aspect of theirs. I suppose I dislike it when they are always this ‘cos no one and no one can handle anyone being all about themselves!

To Chuck:
Clogs: well, they are ugly! Rigid, tough & opinionated. Yup, being getting rid of these!
Thigh-high boot: The one who will tramp over you. Had some of those in the past, glad to have moved past!
Shoe- boot: Identity crisis! They are too confused to be able to help in any way. Have some such friends and honestly, I kinda want them around and the shoe-boots have grown on me :/

Basically, shoes are not as versatile as friends, simple as. Now if there was this perfect shoe that could be everything, maybe but then again, that’s like hoping that one person could be everything to you and that’s plain silly. It kinda reminds me of my 7 soulmates theory- I still think we all have 7 soulmates in our lives and they needn’t be romantic. So far, my count is:
– FL- definitely the one who helped me truly understand the meaning of this
– SL- I owe him loads and I think anyone I have been involved with romantically since him, does too!
– Ryan- undoubtedly- goes without saying
– TSG- A part of me is convinced he is one of mine- there is just something there
– Winnie- definitely my soul sister
– The Shrew- and also my soul sister (I know Winnie, tough for you to accept…)
Scary thought knowing that I have only 1 more to find- this is gonna be fun! I wonder who it is and I wonder if I will know instantly!

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Cuppa tea…

Sometimes, all it takes is a cuppa tea to know all is well!

For the first time, since we decided to stop being business partners earlier this year, Ryan and I caught up- we didn’t really discuss work, we didn’t really discuss anything business, we did discuss the global markets, we did discuss the local economy, we did talk of common friends, I slagged him for some stuff, he slagged me about Red (which I ended up telling him without realising that he didn’t know- darn!!) and basically, we did what mates do- hang out!

i will laugh at uYup, at the end of the day, we both know, if nothing else- we will always have some stuff to slag each other about! Here’s to the new chapter in our friendship- I am very excited and looking forward to it 🙂 Even if the new chapter implies I can’t tell him anything confidential anymore as he can keep nothing from Tigger and well, I don’t like that- I prefer to tell her myself if I want her to know, especially the secrets. Ah well, new chapter!

(This may just be what they call maturity!)

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You don’t lose your value

A very good lesson here:

you don't lose value

WE ARE WHO WE ARE!

Earlier today, I was assaulted with doubts about certain decisions in my life and the way I treat myself.

Yesterday, Ryan and I closed the last of our businesses together- so in a matter of 8 weeks, we will be down to just being friends and nothing more- no more business partners. After 6 years of constantly having had each other on speed dial and constant businesses discussions, I am not sure how that will work for us but I am sure we will find our new equilibrium. As I was walking away from that meeting, I thanked my lucky stars to have him as a friend. And I still stand by that. However, one person made a very valid point to me- she was talking to a few of Red’s friends on Saturday and they were stating their not-so-nice opinions about Ryan. And she told me how she thought he was so lucky to have me defend him and stand by his side. A valuable lesson again- I was not valuing myself here and was only considering how lucky I am.

We need to remember, every relationship is two way! And both of us are valuable- never forget that 🙂

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A reminder to self.

So today, after ages, I spent hours with Ryan. And it reminded me of a couple of things:
– A statement I made a few weeks ago after a night out with Ryan & Tigger: “It reminded me why the two of them were my best friends yet again. No matter what, they are there and sometimes I need a reminder.” (And yes, I know it is usually with Tigger but then sometimes she is so politically correct, she just needs a good shake-down)
– A statement about my friendship with Ryan: “We became each other around each other- we grew up through our experiences together, we shared some good times, we shared some bad times and we went through some major moments in life, supporting each other- we have a bond few understand and we just know we are gonna be friends, no matter what!”

good friend vs best
– A statement about my relationship with Ryan when I was asked whether we are still friends: “We are like siblings. We spend a lot of time together, we love each other but every so often, we need to ignore each other. He is my brother and there’s not much else to it!”

good friends = starsRyan, thanks for being you. And thanks for being the best friend I need and understanding me even when I don’t understand me. You are my rock!

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Rich if you have 5 friends…

If wealth was counted in terms of friends, I am undoubtedly VERY ( and I mean, VERY VERY VERY) lucky. I have obviously chosen well and I have obviously done something right.

However, there seems to be a pattern, it all starts with a few conversations, going towards constant texting/ mails/ calls etc and lots of hanging out to not talking that often. We both know that we are both there for each other, we both will turn to each other for the major occasions/ in times of trouble and we both we will be there when it comes crashing down… but I kinda miss having that someone constantly around.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love making new friends and meeting new people and loving all the older ones surrounding me too- but there is something about that bestfriend, who just knows it all. Again, I have that, even if it is over the distance… but yeah, maybe, this is why people find that someone special?! (Am I growing up thinking this way???)

I dunno… is it a pattern special to me or is it a natural phenomena? As I said, I am exceptionally lucky- I can count at least 12 people in 5 different countries- I even learnt last year that friends I hadn’t expected such amazing support from were there for me too…

And if it is NOT natural, then how does one change it?! What’s the secret sauce? And why have I not copped on?

the right people

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An interesting description of friendship

I got this from a friend today- thanks S!

Each friendship defines its own relationship but these are just the fundamentals, eh? 😉

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On the vein of friends…

When a mutual friend tries to get in the middle of a personal discussion between 2 other friends, I lose even more respect. Seriously world- speak your mind, share your opinion but do NOT force it- let people make their own decisions and more importantly, their own mistakes.

So dear “Friend”- yes you, the one who is so insecure even when in love, please understand- Yes I have high standards, VERY HIGH, infact but still… I am not backing down and apologising for who I am- this is me, take it or leave it.

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