Over the years, I have come across loads of different types of people. Surprisingly 😉
There are usually ones I warm up to instantly, some I am a bit cagey about and some I can’t tell why I don’t like.
Often, in the ones I don’t like initially, there are a handful who change my mind about them but often, turns out my gut was right. These people have this amazing ability to eventually make you feel better about yourself, have fun with them, trust them and so on and as you start getting comfortable and changing your initial belief about them, BOOM.
They start saying comments that make them feel better about themselves. Now I, for one, am all about the self loving! I love me and I think everyone should love themselves. BUT it’s not doing you or anyone else any good if you can love yourself by putting others down. Their comments may be slightly snide only or they may be masked as advice but never have I come across any that are genuinely helpful.
Over the years, I have been trying to weed such people out of my life and surround myself with those full of love and gratitude, those who don’t compliment me when they don’t want to, those who only advice me when they can add value or when asked and those who genuinely wish me the best.
Down with the frenemies! I wish there was a way to eradicate that gene in every single human.
Filed under Friends, Health
But what is IT?
It is anything in life that we care about- a friendship, a relationship, love, work, companies, success, potential etc.
Now why is it that I make such a statement when it is not the confident people who get recognised but the egoistical ones?! It is about the confident people are just happy to buckle down, get things done and not worry about being in the public eye, the ego needs that public validation. Not saying egos don’t get things done- the public isn’t completely stupid to just fall for what the world says and what they read in papers but results are needed too.
Anyhow, I am thinking ego today, in terms of friendships.
I suppose it is because the other day someone mentioned to me that I should call a friend of mine that I haven’t spoken to in a while. And surprisingly, my ego kicked in- I felt like turning around and saying “well, she can pick up the phone and call me too” and the sad thing is I still feel like that, despite knowing it’s wrong.
I have my reasons for not calling, I know they may not be the most rational but sometimes, one’s mind is not rested enough to take on the task of calling anyone- I have actually been in hibernation with most people in my life for the last while- I am trying to make a very big decision, a decision that will affect me in many ways. The only thing that is allowing me to actually realise it’s ok to ignore them, ‘cos true friends stay there, no matter what.
Ultimately, friendships have NO egos. And my friends know that- so here’s to picking up the phone and talking to them soon.
— Update: 5 mins later—
Just got this in an email- SO SO SO SO so true!
This weekend was very good for my ego. As in, very. Weirdly enough.
I spent a fair bit of time with one of my closest mates- she got married to another one of my mates earlier in the year so I am totally over the moon!
And so fair warning- the rest of this post is very sappy, as in, its me giving myself an ego wash to remember this conversation 🙂
So in one of our tete-a-tetes, I told her how I was delighted she had reached out and we were so close today. And then I told her I was very impressed by how perfect she was- a perfect friend, a perfect wife to my friend, a perfect hostess, a perfect mate etc etc and how she was always so perfectly turned out. Her reply touched me, amused me and really made my ego inflate. She told me she doubled her spending on clothes when she realised her husband always spoke highly of me and that the one thing that always stood out for her was how I used to always be so well turned out and knew to act the part, in every occasion- from being silly in a club to a board member in the corporate world to a mate in a cafe and she knew to be his partner, she needed to adapt her style to that. Little did I realise that I was partly the inspiration behind one of those ladies that I admire so.
So here’s to me becoming that politician’s wife while being the politician too! heheh.
My ego loved this weekend, for many other reasons but this was definitely the primary- how cool. It did make me realise the best of friends are those that are constantly raising the bar for you and themselves, helping you along and taking your support too!