Category Archives: Ramblings

Thank you and Goodbye

6 years… that’s how long I have been here.

Over the years, I have shared my moods, my inner most thoughts, my fears, my hopes, my happiness and understood myself better. I feel this place has been a happy place.

However, I shared this space with 5 people who have since shared it with others, unfortunately. When I write, I think of the audience sometimes and I certainly don’t want the negativity of who may read this affecting my thoughts and so, I have thus decided to find a new home, obviously unknown to you- should you end up finding me there, great and if not, this is where our path ends.

Thank YOU to each one of you- I have loved your feedback, your comments, your mails, your words. I wish you ALL the best of luck. Stay happy and live happy.

Much love to all xx
Peace out!

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Been there, done that!

Yup, I faced my fear- for years, the idea of living alone has haunted me- I have never understood the appeal of it. Don’t get me wrong, there are some great aspects:
– cleanliness
– only your mess
– not having to worry about anyone else
– enjoying a quiet book
– spending time alone

But these are all things one can work around with. Living alone can be boring- there’s no craic in making dinner for 1 or boiling the kettle for 1- it’s always more fun to do things in groups. Ok, ok, not always but usually. There’s something nice about unwinding at the end of the day with a glass of wine talking to a friend or having movie nights with popcorns and pizzas or midnight birthday balloons or just silliness and conversations. Great housemates make for some great times and I have had some absolutely fantastic ones around me!

I now know I can live alone- no bother but my socialising goes up A LOT. 10 months in, I have done it, I have enjoyed the cleanliness mostly, I have enjoyed being able to listen to music at loud volume, I have enjoyed being able to leave it messy and untidy when wanted and now I know that I can live alone so I am ready to stop living alone again… A new chapter awaits me and with much trepidation, I am ready for it. And very excited about moving in with Red. Who would have thought a drunken night out would have lead to this!!

choices you make.PNG

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Wanna do this!

When the weather is so gorgeous in Dublin, this is what I really wanna do…

hammock boat

If only we could do it on the few good days of weather we have… or will we still need wetsuits?! 😉

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The Social Pressure

You know, in India, I expect the pressure- it is inherent in our society:
“When will you get married?”
“When will you have kids?”
“When will you do X?”
“When…?”
“When…??”
“When…???”
It’s only natural. In fact it is one of the main reasons I feel I cannot live back home- I feel I am always trying to prove something, live the lives they want me to lead and am a constant rebel. Being a black sheep far away is much much much easier!

Last few months, I have started feeling the pressure here. And it’s not from my family but oddly from Red’s. I am absolutely flattered and overjoyed they want to make me an official part of the family. I am delighted they care so much about us and approve of us- getting a call from Red’s mum when he is away and she needs to tell him something is a testament that I am seen and accepted as his partner.

I needed to vent and get it out of my system to be able to accept the questioning again tomorrow- them old grandparents aren’t too good at remembering they asked me this question today! Sigh, the joys of having to see them without Red…Life, eh! At least this one has a HUGE silver lining 🙂

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Today I learned!

#1: So, a friend got an infection called ‘cellulitis’- initially I thought she was referring to the beautiful love handles we get at a certain age and how they are not as pretty as we want them to be and started laughing.

Turns out, it is actually a non contagious bacteria that can only be cured using antibiotics. These names shouldn’t be so similar :/

Talk about my laughter being deflated, oops!

#2: Myanmar has a water festival during Thingyan in april where people throw water at each other. Not quite with colour, they may use coot from cooking vessels but it ain’t like Holi and yet it’s very similar ideology (no surprise as Buddhism is an off shoot of Hinduism).

 

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1 Year in 1 Month

Started in 2010, I have personally only told 5 people of this blog and then I know one of them told someone else of it too but as far as I know, less than 7 people I personally know about this space of mine and I love the anonymity here, the freedom to share thoughts I may not share elsewhere, the ability to rant here and get it out of my system, the diary to capture certain feelings even if the true story may be masked, a place to leave notes to myself re food and anything else!

So it is very surprising for me to note that without any advertising, without informing too many people (I presume 2 of those 5 I told have no interest in coming here anymore either- we did have a bit of a fallout after all…) I still get a lot of interest here. I expected it to be maybe the odd one or 2 people stopping by but I noted today that for the past few months I have managed to beat the total number of people that came to my site all together in 2010.

Ah, the things I find amusing.

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In My Bubble!

One of the few things I have been working on recently is ‘being in the present’.
I dislike the jargon feel to that phrase but it’s fitting for what I have been trying to do.

This week has been a real relevation that I have succeeded in it as I have had 5 people either come and tap me out of my own reverie, send me a message telling me I ignored them or missing something in the background that would in the past have been more obvious.

It’s kinda nice to live each moment the way I want to and ignore all the other ‘noise’ around it- I may not see all the other friends but at least when I am with someone, it is all about them 🙂

Here’s to more conscious memories, without a phone, without a selfie, without distractions and about really enjoying quality conversations and quality silences!

 

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Lose it!

Yeah, lose the fear.

accept being wrong.jpg

Wise Wednesday Words x

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Grateful as can be

There are days when things so amazingly well.
There are days when nothing goes to plan.
There are days when one is buzzing with energy.
There are days when no amount of good food can pep one up.
And then, there are days where everything seems that extra bit beautiful.

Today, I am grateful:
– Grateful for the family I am born into
– Grateful for the family members I have adopted along the way
– Grateful for Red
– Grateful for the fantastic relationship I have with Red’s family
– Grateful for the friends I have
– Grateful for the fun times I have with my friends
– Grateful for my professional life- bar 2 bad moves, it has been awesome and those 2 have gotten me along the life path I am on today
– Grateful for my health- have my ups and downs but it’s there
– Grateful for dancing- one always needs to bust a few moves
– Grateful for laughs- so glad I have these in my life
– Grateful for music
– Grateful for books
– Grateful for being able to walk
– Grateful I can cook healthy foods
– Grateful I have led the life I have
– Grateful to have all the materialistic pleasures I have
– Grateful to have the disposition towards materialistic things I have
– Grateful to be spiritual
– Grateful to be grateful

Enjoy a moment and be grateful for what you have- trust me, it’s a beautiful feeling. Enjoy x

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Amazing!!

So, last week I cooked for a tiny army and so was left with tonnes of aquafaba- my new favourite ingredient to play with!

If you aren’t aware of it, it’s basically an egg white substitute and is originally the brine from a can of chickpeas (or other beans but primarily chickpeas). Can be used to make pancakes, cakes, brownies, meringues and everything else with eggs in it really.

Today, I baked brownies for a friend’s surprise birthday party- risky to try a new recipe I know but it’s the only way I was gonna be baking tonight. Think I would add a little more butter as mine seemed a little flaky but here’s the recipe I followed: http://frieddandelions.com/perfect-brownies/

I would say the recipe would work well on its own as is but being in need to finish all the leftovers in the fridge, I used up the salted caramel to replace the amount of maple syrup in it.

Just took a test bite and I want it all! NOM!!

 

And this is what I want to use the frozen aquafaba (there’s just so much in the fridge!!) for:
http://www.misterniceguy.com.au/recipes/vegan-lemon-meringue-pie/
And for the lemon curd: http://atravellingcook.com/2015/05/egg-free-lemon-butter.html#more-883

And perhaps for breakfast tomorrow- a good brekkie does kill a hangover: http://avirtualvegan.com/vegan-omelette/

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For something different…

Genius is the person who dreamt up this bed- so pretty and so funky. I can see a lot of mess building up on it though 😉

boat bed

If only… Sigh!

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The First Hello…

… after the last goodbye!

Yes, I had one of those moments yesterday where, at a ball, I glimpsed a guy I was with.

Now this is potentially the only guy in the world I really imagined a future with and it went nowhere, I was definitely very upset and confused when it all unfolded. And I always assumed we would bump into each other at some point but just not at a black tie ball- the advantage there is we both looked well 🙂

So, re-applied my bright red lipstick, shook my hair till it looked just messy enough to be cool, in my towering high heels, I walked up to the guy and said hello. And then he rose, all the tallness of him and I recalled why I was so attracted to him- still an imposing figure, still a good looking face and still someone who could fill a suit well.

And then we chatted, we chatted for a few minutes catching up on the major aspects of life. And then we chatted about the smaller things and then we chatted of things we hadn’t really spoken much about at that time. And as we chatted, I realised he was a good guy (phew, I hadn’t messed up on that front at least) but an unhappy one (despite major changes since we had met, and all of them good, he still wasn’t content), with a few regrets in life and so, it made me appreciate Red so much more.

The moment we finished our chat, I knew it was time for me to head home, head home to the man I love the most, the man who stands up to me when I am wrong, the man who pushes me to be the best I can be, the man who gets silly with me when I want to, the man who scrubs up well and escorts me to all the fancy balls we go to, the man who makes my ‘ovaries swing’… I knew the story that started 3 years ago is the one I want to be a part of for the rest of my life and I am really glad I got the closure with Tolkein without ever actually needing it.

 

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Bacon vs everything…

Bacon! drool…

exercise... bacon

You got to, got to, got to, see this:

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The year of 13 weddings!!

Yup, you read that right! It’s been a busy year for love.
Fortunately, we managed to choose the ones most important and relevant to us and went to only 6.

ONLY 6 eh!
Weddings are a good day out but they sure take their toll!
Financially- pretty expensive for the attendees and even more expensive for the couple getting married-it’s an insane money making racket! The diamond ring, the white dress, the whole shebang- fantastic marketing ploy.

It was a tricky one when we had 3 weddings in 3 different locations in 2 different countries on the same day. Unfortunately, Red won that round and so we went to his friends- compromise, compromise, that’s what it’s all about! (The funny bit though was knowing that 2 of those couples and another couple whose wedding we had been at a few weeks earlier had- all ended up in the same country for their honeymoon hehe!)

The best thing about the days is that whether you care for the couple much (in one case, I didn’t really know them well!) or whatever you may think of them, you do get all involved in genuinely wishing them well and hoping it all works out for them and you truly have a great time just celebrating their love and relationship.

Each wedding was great craic with obviously my brother’s being my favourite!
There was one wedding I was a little apprehensive of- there were 2 people I was exceptionally close to- the guy said one statement one day that made me question if there was ever a friendship and I think on its own I could have handled that but when she meddled, dragged Red in and said things to him about me that caused the worst night of my life, I decided to move away and keep my distance. Being the forgiving sort, I decided to let it be and just not be very friendly ever again and I was really glad I stayed that way- considering I hadn’t heard from those guys at all since that night, I was delighted when all of us could be mature adults and enjoy a good chat in civility without once crossing the border to showing any real bond on the day. I was definitely surprised when the next day it all fell apart- personally I was more surprised that anyone would have time to focus on anything but their new spouse on the day after their wedding! I knew then there was no going back and I was willing to accept that too. But today, something made me question it all… I am all for civility and so is Red but there’s them still remaining connected to him and speaking to him and I am exceptionally proud of him to be civil and still maintain a relationship, even if a part of me is aware to the outside world it could read as him  not supporting my stance. Or is it just that we are different and realise everyone has their faults, choose to work around them and still be nice to people, knowing full well things have changed?! Or are we just naive??

Even thought that post wedding memory will always stick out the most, all the wedding memories (blame the drunken brain) gel into each other, I remember some epic parties, some fun times, some great chats, some silly ideas and lots of dancing- lots and lots of dancing! I must admit I am delighted we have so many friends falling in love and declaring it so romantically but I must also admit I am looking forward to a bit of a calm before the 2016 weddings take off! All this partying… tiring work, I tells thee!! I think I am still not recovered and it’s been a week since the last one we were at.

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Jump, now.

Let’s avoid this trap!

dont wait

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Cha- cha- cha- changing…!

Yesterday, after a very long time, I was at home in the evening, chatting to some friends I needed to catch up with, reading a book and just being me. So I decided to take some time out and focus on myself and see how I have changed, what are the good things I have taken on and what not so good. So overall, I am happy with the person I am, there are areas I need to work on and not wanting to completely beat myself up, I am gonna go with the classic sandwich approach and talk about the ways I have changed…

1. Priorities
I am waaay better at prioritising things I want to do, people I want to see, goals I want to achieve, places I want to visit etc. Every time I am juggling a million things, I still seem to know what is the best thing for me to put my energy towards. For example, recently I had the option of going to a gig with a good few bands I wanted to see playing, horse riding, sailing and a party- knowing I would have way more fun at the party and the importance of it for me was the one I chose whereas, it would normally have been horseriding that would have won. Similarly, at work, doing my morning to-do lists and prioritising my focus means I achieve what I want to achieve! And definitely way better at ensuring I have time for the people I appreciate in my life and those who appreciate me. And definitely know a pair of Louboitins win over a whole week of healthy dinners 😉 (yeah, I did that! I said I have improved not that I am perfect!!)

2. Communication
What used to be a very good skill of mine is somehow slipping away from me. I seem to have less time, too many platforms and maybe cos I am always in a rush to get it done, I don’t weigh what I am saying and somehow a few times, it has been misconstrued but never once intended that way. I definitely need to improve on this skill and at least go back to the level I was at it.

3. Quality Time
The busier I get, the less I want to party- partly because the next day hangover means one less day of getting things done! I am not a workaholic but I am a busyaholic and I do seem to prefer a good conversation and a coffee over a night full of cocktails. It also means that when I do have a cocktail full night, it’s great craic and I have an absolutely brilliant time!

4. Ranting
I never used to be a ranter before- this is something new that seems to have come about in the last 3/4 years. Somehow it has crept into my daily life and I really don’t like it. I need to give out less, get less offended about things and stay more positive. I am an optimistic person, usually quite happy with the way life is going but when something peeves me off now, I let it affect me longer than it should. I need to go back to not caring about things I can’t change!

5. Self esteem
I have always enjoyed good self-esteem and self-confidence. These are not areas that have needed work or so I thought. I have further identified the values I believe in, the morals I stand for and the ethics that define me. These have become much stronger guiding principles in my life and I always seem to be working with as the way I make the tougher decisions in life. Where in the past I may have been more forgiving, a lot softer and definitely a lot more understanding, I make tougher calls with these ideologies and try to surround myself only with the people who are similar, things that match my way of thinking and focus on creating the life I want, full of positivity, happiness and contentment.

6. PMS Irrationality
Definitely the hormonal issue most girls can’t avoid… pity! I have tried a few different things to fix it but chocolate seems to be the only thing that sustains me through the 3 days of pure irrationality- I feel like screaming, I say things I don’t necessarily mean to say, I fight with Red (he’s a saint) and I cry for no reason. I really don’t like it but bar going on the pill and messing up my insides completely (& potentially losing any interest in Red), I need to figure out a way to deal with it. Something that has started in the last 2 years cannot define the next 2 decades pre menopause for 10% of every month!!!

7. Trust
I have always had issues with trust. My teacher, my dad, my bestfriends have all hurt me at some level in the past. I have been backstabbed a few times. The last year or so have helped me define my own boundaries for trust. There is only person in the world I trust and that’s me. Sad but true. I do have a lot of trust for other people but the levels vary and the number of people I keep in that group is smaller than ever. I care for more people than I have but I trust fewer than I have and I love it like this. Those few who are in that circle of trust have proven to me time and again that they deserve it and I know that the moment they make a small mistake, I am not gonna share. Earning my trust is definitely getting tougher and I hope this doesn’t end up affecting my kindness at any level as Red has taught me new levels of kindness in the last while and the few times I have tried following his principles, I have ended up getting into the odd mess!

8. Confrontation
I don’t avoid them anymore. I prefer to meet and clear out things. Texting, emailing and all these other forms have never been my preferred choice and now I do all I can to avoid it. I suspect a face to face conversation clears out more issues quicker than anything else. I have in the past preferred to apologise, ignore issues etc but no I prefer to just get them dealt with in a no nonsense manner and get them out of my way.

9. Happiness
I am constantly understanding what happiness means to me and able to therefore amend my plans accordingly to keep my happiness level at almost always optimum.

10. Balance
It’s taken me a while but I have eventually found a balance- a balance between work and life, a balance in the ‘office’, a balance in my career, a balance in my spending etc. And definitely more spiritually balanced too as I have meditating more and doing more yoga. I dunno about vibrating at higher level lark but I feel loads better.

All in all, yes, I have a few areas to work on that have changed from before and a few areas I have identified that still need help but I hope I keep making amends constantly and hope most of them are for the better. Here’s to all of us being better people when we wake up than when we went to sleep!

Love xx

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Adventures rock!

Amen to this:

great adventuresI love adventures and the lack of knowing what is gonna unfold- I have had some amazing ones in the last while and the current one is terrifying, exciting and nerve-wrecking: life is a journey that I am glad to be traveling.

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Beards…

Now I love me a good beard but you know what, the hipster look, the lumberjack syndrome or whatever it may be means there’s too many beards around and the thing is, many of them shouldn’t be!

I am Indian- facial hair is all cool with me. But keep it clean please and here’s an idea of what we women like and don’t like- it ain’t gospel, I don’t fancy Gandalf’s beard but that because I imagine it tickles and I don’t like them tickles!

beard attractivenessKeep the good beards, peeps!

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WANT!

I want, yes WANT, a few things in life.

wonderful– I want happiness- not the concept that we seem to be talking everywhere but my own version of it- doing things only because I want to and not cos I have to. I started this about 2 years ago and it was the BEST thing I ever did.

– I want genuine people- I have blinders towards people who are gonna be racists, jealous, demotivating and immoral- still will be civil and will maintain the relationship I feel it befits but I may not genuinely trust or care for you the way you may think you deserve from me.

– I want health- doesn’t mean skinny- I haven’t had that for years, but I want to continue my long walks, my sporadic swimming, my even more sporadic yoga, my healthy eating buzz, my clean living lifestyle and tonnes of meditation!

– I want enough- enough love, enough money, enough sleep, enough work, enough things to do, enough books to read, enough of everything I may need. I want to be able to buy whatever I want without having to worry of cash, I want to be able to spend on whoever I want to spend it on without worrying.

– I want a home- not a big house or anything per se, just something comfortable and full of love- somewhere people like coming to, somewhere we have fun, somewhere we shares laughs and many special moments but never feel it is too cramped.

I want a lot yet not a huge amount. I am looking forward to all this unfolding in my life!

 

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There, I admit it!

Last weekend, within 24 hours, 4 friends got engaged- that’s 4 different couples, even if the partners are friends of mine too and another one got married. For the first time ever, I wondered if the Sex and the City of all the women finding their partners and their love etc is something more real than not.

I have always admitted I want to get married, have a family and enjoy that lifestyle but not until I am ready- however, when I see everyone around me going down the path, I do begin to wonder, am I in denial or am I expecting some sort of a thunderclap?!

It was weird, about 10 days, my first ever boyfriend got married and that impacted me more than any of my ex’s ever! It truly got me thinking of an alternate universe where I wasn’t such a party girl, where I was married, where I had kids and where I wasn’t living my dream. Additionally, I went through a whole introspection of my 20s and realised I spent it having fun- I did none of the sensible things one is expected to do- I didn’t save, I don’t own property, I didn’t get married, I don’t have a responsible job etc etc etc.

And I also realised in 2015, I can have NO frigging holiday because I will be spending all my free time in weddings- 7 close friends and family at last count- there may be a few more yet! I had thought I had gone through that wave and was in the baby wave but alas, life has other plans obviously and it has got me wondering…

Is this the beginning of the transition? Will this be where I get cranky and nary about the lack of a legal name to my relationship with Red?

I will admit, I am scared about the future! Wish me luck, peeps.

reality

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If this Diwali…

… you take away one lesson, let it be:

Hating is a waste of timeHappy Diwali x

 

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Keep them alive!

Dreams, I mean.

keep your dreams alive

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Emotion…

Often, we take emotion for granted.
Often, we ignore the importance of emotion.
Most important, we refuse to acknowledge the impact of emotion on our body.

Good emotion lets us recover quickly, makes us happy, is good for health and lowers stress levels.
Conversely, the bad emotion brings us down and has a very strong negative impact on all levels.

I hadn’t realised how much I needed to nurture my soul again till I moved houses, changed the way I work, had some dates with myself and realised how certain things are just so important to me:

– finer things in life that are enjoyed, not abused
– cleanliness- messy is different to dirt
– soulful things- I had gotten back into the habit of doing a lot of things
– leading by the heart- every so often I need to let the head lose
– relaxing- putting my feet up, watching a movie, reading a book, having a good cup of hot chocolate- all these things are just so important and nice 🙂

It’s amazing how one tiny change opens up so much!

be soft

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Winds of Change

I feel the winds of change blowing- don’t ask me why, don’t ask me how. I don’t know the details but…

I feel a shift- a shift towards a more peaceful me
I feel a calmness- a calm that is not pre storm but the calm of positivity
I feel an excitement- an excitement of what is coming
I feel content- content knowing I have done my best and the future is exciting as can be

I am impatient, I am like a kid waiting for their birthday presents, I want the changes, I want to feel the wind and I am really really really looking forward to it!

serenity

Did I say really?! 😉 I truly, really AM! Woohoo!

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Relations, Decisions, Ownership…

You know, life is a funny curve- no matter what, the other side seems greener! This is in no means an admission that you aren’t happy but maybe not always satisfied… I am in a really good place, life is fantastic and everything seems to be working out just the way I want it to AND I love it!

And then there are the tough decisions that no matter what the result, even if it what you want it to be, it doesn’t make for easy discussions or easy journeys to a decision. I somehow seem to be caught bang in the middle of three massive decisions, of which none is immediate so therefore tonnes of hypotheticals being built in one’s head and no real action as it is impossible to do so.

The decisions of owning certain assets together, the decisions of the right time to have kids, the decision to adopt kids, the decision of where to live, the decision of moving to different continents for one’s career, the decision to plan holidays around certain big events that mean a lot to one person, the decision to share the responsibility of a pet, the decisions that would potentially be easy when in the thick of things but tricky when you have time to think…

Oh for just a few moments I wish I was single and carefree but the support, the love, the laughter and mostly, the silliness, I will put up with this all this growing up jazz that gets thrown our way. 

Sigh!

Finding your kind of crazy

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Keeping Up!

B!tch alert! If you are trying to be positive, stop reading NOW! I am just sharing thoughts about some ideas in my head that may not be very nice when down on paper…

I have begun to realise amongst a LOT of my friends (unfortunately, friends and not acquaintances!) that there is a certain tendency to “keep up with the society and expectations”- sad but true.

Case 1: 2 people who had no interest in each other, had nothing in common, decided they wanted to be in relationships that society approved of- now married.

Case 2: 2 people who met online for a date and some years ago, married within a year. Unhappy but staying together cos they are afraid of being alone.

Case 3: 2 people so scared to admit that their friends were wrong are staying together to prove everyone wrong.

When did we forget to put our happiness as the primary reason to get married?!

cos you join my weirdness

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Granted!

Today, I felt a feeling that I hadn’t felt in a while. To some extent, I wonder if the past has made me pick up on it sooner than not.

For the past 2/3 weeks, I have felt everyone around me seems to presume I will always be around and I am able to do everything in a jiffy, with no help and with no drop in standards. Earlier today, it got to me so much that I absolutely broke down and cried. The sort of cry I needed but not the sort of cry I could blame on alcohol or hormones.

I also realised I am very sensitive to fatigue and hunger… those two individually are dangerous when associated with me but together more so.

However, what I am proud of is nipping the feeling in the bud by ensuring I told the people I cared enough about exactly what I feel and asking them to cop on! Here’s hoping the words have been heard and the change is coming.

Additionally, after 6 years, I am amazed that I still feel a slight twinge about TL. A part of me goes to ‘what if’, another wonders if I will ever get married and I question my ability to ever commit, especially in the wake of the number of engagements happening around me… weird how our heads and emotions work…

cherish the little things

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Keep it SIMPLE!

Life, that is!

simple life copy

Don’t complicate it, just do it!

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Life… today and tomorrow.

Today, I woke up feeling absolutely amazing!

I have had an interesting year- loads done but nothing really achieved.
I have learnt a lot of things- some new, some again, some already forgotten.
I have grown.

Any year I can say that, I feel good about myself. (This is an easy way to boost my own ego- cos every year one learns!)

However, for the first time in years, I feel I know what I want- really, truly know.

I have a clear idea of the sort of life I want.
I have a clear idea about the people I want in my life.
I have a clear idea with regards the sort of places I want to go to.
I have a clear idea.

It feels absolutely awesome too 🙂

yesterday, today, tomorrow... now

 

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Bottle the feeling…

Right now, I feel on top of the world.

At the end of this month, I will have more change to deal with in one go than most people ever have to and instead of feeling terrified or scared, instead of wondering what next, instead of trying to guess, I am VERY EXCITED!

Future, here I come.

forget the odds

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Breathe, Breathe, Try Again

Yeah, picture captures it all!

Dreams don't expireSweet dreams xx

 

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Truly feels like one of these days!

Somebody forgot to gimme the memo…

back to bed

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In…

An interesting quote I came across today:

There’s hell in hello,
good in goodbye,
lie in believe,
over in lover,
end in friend,
ex in next,
if in life.

How depressing a thought!

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Art as Feng Shui!

Hmmm… food for thought… may be time to get some funky new art in my home…

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Givers and Takers

Over the last few days, I am realising that I have managed to surround myself with more takers than givers which automatically makes me a giver… somehow, this is now causing me a little bit of resentment, anger and frustration!

I know the only person to blame here is me- it is my expectation, my silly hope, my stupid idea of believing in change and falling hook, like, sinker every single time. I now understand the romantics a lot better!! A part of me wants to believe it is not a lack of self respect but I do think it could be- every time I plan to move on from such a friendship, I seem to be sucked right back into it!!

Ah sure, one of these days, I will hopefully learn!

dont be unsure

And if you are sure you are not really on their priority list, re-evaluate if they should be on yours!

 

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Omen?!

So… I get a weekly horoscope sent to me which I kinda read- sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

This bit seems ominous to me:

Screen Shot 2014-04-28 at 15.26.13

So if I am in arts, I am about to strike big, eh? 🙂

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Jumping off the ledge!

Sometimes, you have to take THAT massive leap of faith- just offing do it. I did it. I finally did it- I am scared, I am nervous, I am unable to talk of it but I am excited, I am passionate and I am excited.

I am so so so so so so excited that all I can keep repeating to myself is THIS IS MY TIME & I AM READY FOR IT.

Thank you everyone of you- for your help, your commitment, your support, your push- this could be THE biggest moment of my life and even if I cannot really mention why or what, I want to preserve this feeling for ever- I want to bottle it up, I want to be able to smell it, I want to be able to hold it and look at it again- I want to do it!

Please keep giving me your support and please channel all your hopes and dreams into me getting what I have set out to do! Thank you, thank you, thank you x

Holding on & Letting go

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Animal in bed, eh?

What it really means….

An animal in bed(I love it!!)

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Mar 12, Wednesday: Future

There are so many things I want to do and achieve in life!

After many days, I am going to try capture a few on paper:
1. Upgrade my car by June 2015- yes, I am planning ahead but this one is for certain reasons
2. Replace an item I don’t have anymore- vague on paper but I know what I mean and I think I have found the right replacement too
3. Consider the next stage of my life- do I want to get married? do I want kids? When do they all work with my life.
4. Plan holidays- I need some adventures ahead of me
5. Travel Europe again
6. My company is now doing well and I want it to do even better so I can have a steadier (& bigger) income
7. Sell my photographs to fund my holidays
8. Design, build my dream house
9. Inspire others
10. Be the best human being I can be to the best of my knowledge

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So While I Travel…

I may have the net but unlikely to blog loads so stay happy, people!

Lots of love.

Travel = teetering in the unknown

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Wanna try!

I can’t wait to try these homemade bath bombs!

I heart baths- I used to have one twice a week and I now aim for once a week at least but it doesn’t always work out… however, I do realise, I love my bath time- some soft music, some light reading, a good soak and the feel of a fabulous skin after!

My favourite bath mix personally:

yoghurt or milk
epsom salt
eucalyptus oil
sea salt
almond oil drops
a wee bitta savlon
a small amount of apple cider vinegar
rose oil or rose petalsfreshly squeezed lemon

Dry brush before you step in and you are that little bit more susceptible to it!

Make me feel like Cleopatra when I step out! Go on, treat yourself.

cheers to bitches like me

 

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One way to end world hunger!

Hehe

ending world hunger

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And then 2013 became 2014!

So, as 2013 ends up, I remember the words I said at the beginning of the year: “it promises to be full of promise, optimism, results and achievements!” AND…. I was right- 2013 has been a fantastic year, a year of fun, a year of partying, a year of adventures, a year of learning, a year of love and a year with many laughs. I have had a great year. Thank you 2013.

And hello 2014.

2013 was my ‘foundation year’- it was the turning point year after the terribleness that was 2012. I didn’t like that year and 2013 made it you didn’t leave with the same taste in my mouth. However, I think 2014 has more exciting, even bolder things in store for me. I feel 2014 could be THE year- the year that will really and truly define what I have been working towards for a very long time and if it isn’t, it will almost definitely be the year that will take me closer to it- personally, professionally, emotionally, spiritually.

I cannot wait to embrace you closer to me 2014- it’s gonna be a helluva ride so tighten up that seatbelt and kick it off already 🙂

choose happiness

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Dec 29- Jumbo Post for Last Week

Dec 23: Gratitude:

– Savings- I managed to spend loads and save the aimed amount
– Love- tis the season
– Liver- read above

Dec 24: Moment:

My first Christmases- in India, in school, in Ireland, hosting, with Snoopy, with Ryan’s family, with friends at Ryan’s family and now added in, Red’s

Dec 26: Letter– read post below 😉

Dec 27: Week Gone By:

– Survived Christmas- think my presents went well and I was definitely spoilt by the ones I got!
– Got comfortable in Red’s family home to an extent where I didn’t constantly feel the need to be on guard.
– Got some major deadlines met despite all the obstacles!

Rant:

This article written by Brad Pitt really irked me- no woman is a reflection of her man- yes, her man and any other person in her life can affect her love and self confidence but herself is not a reflection of him but of how he may make her feel! At the end of the day, each person is an individual and so it should remain!!! Any one who thinks their happiness is dependent on another person, get a grip and anyone who thinks they hold the key to someone else’s happiness, come back down to earth- we are all responsible for our own happiness, we give others the power to make us happy- they don’t have it automatically!

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Christmas season!

Folks,

Peace out for the season- have a fabulous break, enjoy the festivities and talk to you in 2014, most likely!!

Thanks for the support and love!
Joy.

Here’s a christmas cracker joke for you:

An alligator in a vestLove love love x

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Life…

It may be short but you live it every single day:

You live everydayGO LIVE! NOW. (That’s an order)

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5 people…

There’s this theory that you are the average of the 5 people you spend most time time with… I kinda agree with it but with a few questions to be asked:

1. Is it the five you share space with, even if there is no or little conversation, ie workmates?
2. Does a dog count?
3. Does the quality of the interactions affect the time spent definition?
4. When you have a big circle of friends and you only see a few regularly, but have better conversations with those you see very rarely, what defines the average?
5. Do phone calls count?
6. What if your bestfriends are not the ones you spend most time with but still the ones who understand you best?

My average changes constantly, as I suspect, does everybody’s so are we really an average of the 5… I do agree with birds of a feather more, personally. I always seem to surround myself with the type of people I want to be, I aspire to be, I like being with, I relate to and I can be me with but they may not always be the 5 I spend most time with!

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“Don’t change”

The other day I was out for dinner with Red and he was slagging me for being so fussy and then all of a sudden he went: “Don’t ever change that, please. Don’t settle for the second best.”

It got me thinking- often we settle for something less than we want and before we know it, it becomes the new acceptable quality level. So, remember- don’t change yourself either. It is worth being fussy, it is worth knowing what you want and it is worth having only that.

change from selfAnd if we all accept only the best, the world will automatically only be full of the best things we have.

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Bed, one’s own bed

Yes, THAT feeling:

jump in bedit’s pretty darn terrific!

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Breathe, breathe, breathe

AND believe!

just breathe and have faithIt shall work out- I will get 55 or something better before the end of the year. It WILL happen- all the 5 things WILL happen… FAITH, I have faith.

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