… and I don’t know by what!
Why do I feel the way I do?! I truly wish I knew.
There are times I feel I am always trying to exceed my own already high expectations so much that I can’t deal with it… sometimes, I just break down and I cry.
I have had a most wonderful 48 or so hours- everything has been fabulous, good laughs, good friends, good exercise, good everything. I have had soulful conversations, brainstormed ideas, made progress on many deals and really connected with some people in my life. I have been a good friend, a good daughter, a good housemate, a good ‘boss’, a good manager, a good whatever I wanted to be.
And the best thing- everything I did, I did for me. I didn’t do anything with any expectation, with any sense of having but with a sense of wanting so then WHY, why am I sooooooo overwhelmed?! And why, am I feeling so tired, so depleted, so angry, so furious, so bereft of something?
I just don’t get it. Any explanations?!
Is it because I am trying to balance the act of wanting to go to a party, be in Galway and enjoy everything at the same time?
Is it because I am trying to organise food for a day and a half for myself when I have no time?
Is it because I am slightly furious that someone I requested a small thing from just couldn’t do it?
Is it because I sometimes feel just so bloody darned alone and lost?
Or is this that dreaded PMS they talk about?
Or is it possible to have post-natal-depression without even going through the 9 month journey?
Or is this just the down of having had such a good run?
Either way, please everyone send me a smile and a wish for all I want to be achieved. Thank you- I appreciate your support x
Lots of love.