Today, I felt a feeling that I hadn’t felt in a while. To some extent, I wonder if the past has made me pick up on it sooner than not.
For the past 2/3 weeks, I have felt everyone around me seems to presume I will always be around and I am able to do everything in a jiffy, with no help and with no drop in standards. Earlier today, it got to me so much that I absolutely broke down and cried. The sort of cry I needed but not the sort of cry I could blame on alcohol or hormones.
I also realised I am very sensitive to fatigue and hunger… those two individually are dangerous when associated with me but together more so.
However, what I am proud of is nipping the feeling in the bud by ensuring I told the people I cared enough about exactly what I feel and asking them to cop on! Here’s hoping the words have been heard and the change is coming.
Additionally, after 6 years, I am amazed that I still feel a slight twinge about TL. A part of me goes to ‘what if’, another wonders if I will ever get married and I question my ability to ever commit, especially in the wake of the number of engagements happening around me… weird how our heads and emotions work…