“It’s not you, it’s me”

Classic break up line all right but is that all it is? Or is there some truth in there?

Since 2010, I have lived with 2 separate friends and in each, I have initiated a change in our relationship- whether it was colleagues, housemates, business partners, etc. Both of them were my best friends when it started but somehow I felt like I had been through a break up each time!

(Somehow, romantic breakups are easier to take!)

I decided to take a moment to step back, reflect and see what the learning in this was- after all, losing friends is never fun. In both scenarios, I still consider them friends and will be there for them, should they reach out.

1. Court a friendship: If a friend is not interested in responding to your courting attempts, take the hint!
2. Know your boundaries: When we start dating, we know what we wouldn’t take for in our partners. Similarly, know the boundaries and when you are not feeling the love, distance yourself.
3. Stick to your morals: I believe in friendship forever, I do believe it transitions shape and form through the years. So if a person has been a friend and we haven’t had a falling out, I will always do my best to be there for them.
4. Quality time: The BIGGEST thing to me. In both those cases, we were spending a lot of time together but never truly quality time. Sometimes it is about the time together, doing something different, experiencing a new activity or whatever else!

After having spoken to friends who have known me a lot longer, a lot shorter, a lot better, only a little, I feel no one is ever at fault- I am sure I did something to upset them for them to stop considering me a friend or showing me the love at least but I hope that in the process, no one was really hurt!

Enemy vs friend

Reach out and let your friends know you care!




Filed under Friends

2 responses to ““It’s not you, it’s me”

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