For the longest time, I scoffed at the concept of ‘need’- what is this need?!
And today, I am ashamed and I hang my head in shame at having become one of them people who ‘needs’ their partners, not just want! Yes, my friends, I have entered the minefield called emotional dependance and I am scared- scared sh!tless!!!
I know I can survive on my own, sure I can- I have survived major illnesses, my father discarding me, having no money, being shunned by my own family and breaking every possible rule put in front of me- but I don’t want to anymore- I want to be looked after when I can be, I want to be weak more than I want to always be independent, I want to know there is a safety net that is not just my mother, I want to know someone out there cares- unconditionally and absolutely for no other reason but because I am me and I know for the moment, I have that person. And yes, the more time I spend with him, the more I want. Dammit, yes I need Red. There, I said it. AAARGH!