So, today I met up with Harry for a coffee- remember Harry from early 2011? He was interested, I wasn’t sure and then I knew I wanted nothing… well, we have kept in touch and we go for a coffee every so often and we are friendly- I am obviously a much closer friend of his than he is of mine and for some reason, he has NO concept of personal space- seriously, like, seriously- if we go to the cinema, I am huddled up in a corner usually ‘cos half his body is on my seat, he sits as if we are a couple and I move away and pretty much all my body language resents him implying/ wanting anything more than him as a mate.
But well, since Tolkien is being, well, difficult (even though he did text me at 9 am today!), I was evaluating the two extremes. With Tolkien, my body language is different- when we are in the cinema, we sit sorta into each other’s space, we are usually touching at some level when we are sitting together and pretty much both of our body languages imply a more-than-platonic connection.
With Harry- I will always be on a pedestal, I will always be looked after, I will have no craic, I will be bored but I will be worshipped!
With Tolkien- I will always be wondering, I will always have to fight my way, I will have fab craic, I doubt I could be bored but I will be content!
Being worshipped & bored vs being content & having the lolz- I think it’s a no brainer.
With Harry, I am arguementative and I take controversial stances- just to get him to get out of his closemindedness.
With Tolkien, I am myself and I am happy. So if I follow the pic, I am happy and with someone who makes me happy so yeah, once again, no contest.
This is why I don’t settle- I know there are men like Tolkien out there- a rare breed but there nevertheless- will we be together- who knows? But as I said a few days ago- Tolkien has given me hope and made me believe that there is someone out there who meets my insane requirements and can make falling in love again a real possibility. And keep it easy, without the games!
PS Both men are NTs and one is willing to meet halfway, guess which one- shows how he is willing to change to be more like a man I would rather be with and still nowhere close!