First dates that lead to more…


The other day a mate and I were discussing first dates and they all end differently, some of the more common ends being:

… in a quick exit cos one of the two people realises it just ain’t worth it!
… in a fun evening with no followup
… to a second date
… in a bit of kiss
… into something more than just a kiss
… with the people ending up in bed together!

Now, as someone who has been on 20+ first dates this year (yeah, I stopped counting after that number!) and with very few second dates (I have high standards, deal with it!), I have been in almost each one of those situations!

Definitely done many quick exits, enjoyed a couple of coffees and gotten out quick, made it to second dates and in some instances, 3rd or 5th too!, definitely had a bit of a fun but rarely ended up in bed- bar 2 situations over the past 2 years!

So, when a friend of mine and I were discussing whether men lose respect for women they sleep with on date 1, I got to thinking… to the extent I actually put TSG on the spot the other day and asked him outright- oops! I have ended up in bed on date 1 twice (as I said)- TSG and Roark are amazing people, fantastic personalities and good friends of mine- both of them play a strong role in my life too and yes, I am exceptionally fond of them!

I have a new theory- it isn’t the men who lose respect but ourselves usually. And we all k now, when we lose respect, it shows in our attitude. And no one, not just men, likes someone with very little self respect. I mean, at the end of the day, if we can’t respect ourselves, no one can respect us, right?!

So ladies, forget the dating rules- I am currently having fun with Tolkien- 5 dates, still going strong, constant contact and no exclusivity in sight- it is good. And no, I am not sleeping with him yet ‘cos I don’t wanna…

Do it because it makes you happy

So do things that make you happy ‘cos then you wouldn’t lose respect for self!

Today, when I look back, I am glad TSG & Roark are still in my life- things didn’t work out for whatever reasons, but we still respect one another, we still have time for each other and we care for this friendship. Infact, I might have regretted not having been with them more- yes, we share a slightly more non-platonic foundation but at least now, it is all platonic and amazing! Thank you guys, for being you 🙂

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1 Comment

Filed under Culture, Dating, Gender, Ramblings

One response to “First dates that lead to more…

  1. S A

    They lose interest after sex because that’s all they wanted? Or do they lose respect?

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