The other day Chammiya and I were out and she was telling me how she thinks she is so lucky to have found love the way she has, where she knows the person will do anything for her and she for him. When I told her I take a more practical and pragmatic view and believe in making it work, she thought it was from a place of not being in love and not having found true love, I differ- for me, it comes from a sense of aligning values and goals and no matter how strong a love, if you can’t do that, it will not work- look at SL and me- the bond there was VERY strong, infact, so much so, that we are still the closest of friends but we wouldn’t have worked. Or look at TSG, a perfect candidate for the sort of person I could fall in love with- but you know what, I do love him today, as a very close friend, as a confidante, but we wouldn’t have worked as a couple either. Who is anyone to tell me these are not forms of true love?!
Personally, I feel only a couple can define true love for themselves. Each relationship is unique and needs to be secure in itself. That is the one thing I think an outsider can tell about a relationship- whether it’s secure or not from the way the couple are in public.
Most of the really good relationships I have seen are not very couply in public- you know the two are very much in love and very secure about their stance and their relationship and so don’t feel the need to constantly mention their relationship, or feel the need to be so couply that everyone else is made to feel third wheel. I was out with 2 couples last weekend and I could see that one of them were made to last- they seem comfortable and didn’t need to be all over each other while the other was constantly dropping in conversation that they were the other one’s partner. With one of the couples, I could hang out and have a laugh but then there are some I cannot see myself hanging out with cos they are always f*cking making one feel inadequate or out of the loop.
I think I understand why many thought Ryan and I were a couple now- we were secure in our friendship, and the genuine love and respect for each other was obvious. The lack of chemistry was obviously not noted but yeah, there are couple and then there are couples- I know or at least very strongly hope) I will be one of those couples that doesn’t make the third person feel not a part of the gang!
Couples out there, evaluate- are you secure in your relationship? If not, time to rethink, perhaps?