The down after a heady day is terrible! I have NO reason for it- I almost got exactly what I wanted earlier today- in life, forget anything else and I still feel MEH.
I know one of the things affecting me is Ryan’s behaviour- he has in the past 8 days, in 2 different conversations, managed to accuse me of something I didn’t do, unlikely to do and instead of starting off by asking, he has just outright assumed the worst. I mean, my own best friend is supposed to know me better. I know it’s not personal and something else is behind this but the fact that I feel helpless about being the mate he potentially needs and I feel angry about these accusations is not nice.
But since that’s such a teeny weeny part of the rest of my life which is finally coming together the way I have envisioned it for years, if a lot slower and if with a lot of strategic change, I should be absolutely over the moon but I feel MEH.
Why oh why?!
In the past 4 years, I have reinvented myself 3 times. In the process I have given away a lot of myself and found a lot of myself. I have laughed, cried, started companies, dropped companies, accepted jobs & offers, rejected jobs & offers, understood my worth, questioned my value but at least realised what I want and who I am- I am the person who gives up money, fame, etc for the laugh I can have with my mates- not quite a waterslide but well… close enough 😉 I would rather a hammock.