“A loser doesn’t know what he’ll do if he loses, but talks about what he’ll do if he wins, and a winner doesn’t talk about what he’ll do if he wins, but knows what he’ll do if he loses.”

The past fortnight has been tough, very tough- I felt lower than I have in a while. A part of me wonders if that’s just a November thing as my body deals with the change in weather and the lack of adrenalin at the end of our annual project.

I got the courage to speak to Ryan. I spoke to him- yes, it was ill-timed but that was not by design; yes, I pushed him out of his comfort zone but that’s something I am one of the few people who can; yes, I knew I was potentially losing one of the most important friendships in my life but I couldn’t carry on the way I was.

In the end, I didn’t get everything I wanted. Infact, I gave in to something that at one stage was a deal breaker to me but in the bigger picture, if I am partly involved, I cannot/ cannot/ cannot completely walk away.

So, I am leaving the current role in the current organisation, returning to my advisory role to an organisation that’s grown to it’s peak pretty much but starting a brand new venture- with the team, the boundaries, the role, the rules I want.

This is IT- I am cutting my past losses and moving forward and hopefully the I’s will be back someday!

All in all, after months, I saw my best friend again- the boy I so truly care for and I know in the past few days, I did push his limits but hey, if I don’t, who will 😉

In other news, Miss Piggy called me up wanting gossip about us and even went as far as making it a point to say she was not sleeping with him- errr… I was born yesterday, yeah?

And in even bigger news, I am moving back to Dublin- Candy and I will be living together and we can do all we want, whenever, wherever ‘cos we are young, free and single! Boom!!

Last week, I almost fell apart- I realised Ryan is like my right arm- I am that dependant on him- emotionally and mentally. I realised I love what I do and I hated what had become of it. I realised I am the luckiest b!tch to have the friends I do- my bra tripod came together very strongly as did many others. However, through it all, I knew and had faith, it will get better and that optimism held me together and the truth reigned- I tend to find the people around me who help me through and guide me down the right path.

Last week, I found strength again and I want to thank all of you who helped me through the journey.

As I said in a message last week- SUCCESS IS ME.

Love x


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