So much has happened since my last post.
Blondie got married and looked absolutely stunning on her wedding day and radiant since she realised she was going to spend her life with the man she loves. She got me emotional a few times during the day and I just am so totally over the moon for the happy couple. I hope they remain as happy, if not happier! Curly felt a huge stab of jealousy when she saw their happiness and was surprised I didn’t. Somehow it made me realise that I was happy for my friends and was so happy that the lack of love in my own life didn’t even figure! Part of me wonders if its because I am confident that one of these days I will have that sort of all-consuming love and I know it’s round the corner or maybe it’s just cos I am happy as is in my life… either way, I am happy and that’s the bottom line!
However, the very next day, something weird happened- a certain friend of mine and I got together! He declared his undying, unconditional love to me- the second time in about 6 months and it kinda freaked me out. We ended up kissing and it was only ‘cos I didn’t want to do it drunk that I pulled back. This has been playing on my mind A LOT. I really like the guy, he is convinced I am too good for him and I do believe the two of us wll be good together but I want to go into it with both of us being on the same page and with eyes wide open- not a drunken snog leading us to being awkward. The weird thing is he doesn’t remember a thing 😦 I really really really don’t know what to do!
And then, there’s the Rower- a guy I have been seeing for a couple of weeks- a Gemini who might be a ‘S’- scary thought yet someone who makes me very happy and someone I have fun with. In his sleep he once told me “I was very beautiful and I wear such lovely clothes” and even though the words aren’t much, they made me smile ‘cos of the way he said them. He likes me and we are both scared of discussing what will happen next but to some extent, I want to just have fun and go with the flow, especially as I head into the busiest period of work!
Talking of work, I feel I am being asked to make pearls of dirt without being given the condusive conditions- turning coal into diamonds is a long process and not always possible. My team needs a lot of work and its driving me insane! Here’s hoping I manage to get them through the project without losing too much hair… at least there is Halloween to look forward to- here’s to choosing my Halloween costume, the annual feature for October!
Somehow, this year, I am not so sure about partying though- a friend I respected highly passed away very suddenly today and I am still in shock. He had a headache, was diagnosed with leukemia and passed away- all in less than 100 hours- he was in coma for the past few hours. He beat me once at an election and it changed the direction of my life, for better or worse, he shared my idealogies, he knew how to have fun and take risks, he was a lovely person through and through and though if anything, he has reminded me of my friends, the need to keep more in contact, the need to enjoy life, a part of me is too stunted to move. RIP PO, you will be missed.