And then I discovered levels!

No, I am not talking of levels in Angry Birds, Bejeweled or any games, I mean in stress! I thought it was a case of black and white for so long that only after this weekend do I realise how wrong I truly was!

My day on my own was one of the best things EVER (like, evah!!!!)- the idea of being with myself, finding myself, re-connecting with myself is all just awesome! It was so nice to be decadent for a day and just be me, have a good time and really just focus on nothing but relaxing. And what a place to do it too. The place is built to allow one to unwind and relax- the best bit is there are NO kids allowed on the estate so no howling or crying, their relaxations rooms are amazing and I have gotten so many ideas for my dream house now, it ain’t even funny!

I understood so much about not just me but people in my life by being away too- sometimes it was their reactions that made me realise a bit more about them- for example, Snoopy completed overstepped the mark as an irritating friend by texting me as a customer, Ryan couldn’t fathom the concept, Tigger/ Winnie/ Candy/ Mrs F/ Curly- all supported me so much and pushed me to do this that I am absolutely over the moon to have such friends who understand me and care for my health.

The time to think cleared away cobwebs, it made me focus on what is making me unhappy and what I can do to deal with the current situation till I move back to the land of the living, it made me realise why I am losing respect for Ryan constantly, it made me face up to certain aspects I have been hiding from myself, it made me  plan out steps I need to make to be more the person I want to be, it made me realise the different levels of stress.

On Friday, I unwound a little, the massage put me to sleep and gave me pain due to the amount of pressure they had to use to undo my knots and get rid of the toxins in me! On Saturday, I unwound even more and by the time Sunday came about, I was much better- I could see the difference on my face, in  my skin, in my spirit but I also realised that there is still a huge hole- I need a lot of looking after to repair myself and till I don’t get it right, I ain’t gonna be able to move forward completely in the direction I want.

I also wonder what does it mean to be relaxed?! I mean, will I ever stop worrying about something- be it the company I am working in, be it the company I sit on the board of, be it my personal finances, be it my baby brothers and sisters, be it my mother/ aunts/ uncles etc- is it an age thing? Or is relaxation knowing that worrying is no good and it allows one to find solutions?! I hope, someday- sooner rather than later, I learn about it and in the meantime, I hope to get away more often on weekends such as this ‘cos the fatigue I felt Thursday night is no way to be.

Here’s sending peace, love and harmony to the world. Be good all. Love.

PS In other news, when the evil spirit darkened my doorstep after so many days, this piece came to mind and I am so glad I could follow it- I just avoid her ‘cos of the negativity it brings up in me and that’s just SO wrong!

Wise words


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