I am tired.


Very tired- emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally. If I have left any other out, throw that in too. Back in March, I promised to love myself more and I truly haven’t been doing it… 😦

I have gotten some massages, some pampering done. I have cut out a lot of junk but not all. I meditate a wee bit more but then going from 0, that’s not tough! However, I haven’t made ALL the changes I wanted to.

Weirdly, when I first started meditating, I was told that there would be days when the negativity is coming out of my system and I will feel worse- maybe that’s why I went through the cocktail of emotions that was yesterday. It was a heady cocktail, but even ranting online did not do the trick for me, I ended up ranting to Candy earlier today and felt really bad afterwards, it felt a bit like b!tching even though I know I wasn’t doing that- it just came out without any menace to it.

But I realise, I have reached my breaking point, I moved to Laois exactly 52 weeks= 364 days. Initially, I had looked forward to it but I realise being this far away from civilisation, this far away from fun times, this far away from my friends is no way to live- it’s called surviving, it’s called existing but it certainly ain’t living.

And to live, I need energy and I am SOOOOOOOOO looking forward to my weekend of me- Mrs F may meet me at some stage, I might do some work, I might get a few things sorted that have been on the long finger but this weekend is all about relaxing, reading, watching mindless telly (Ok, so not so mindless telly- still addicted to 30 Rock) and sleeping- I need a lot of sleep. May get a hike in at some stage, if I can but all in all, it’s all about me. And though I do feel the slight twinge of guilt, I have to thank ALL my other friends who have pushed me to this decision- I am really looking forward to my day away and getting pampered.

I am so tired that I feel and look worse than a zombie but I am looking forward to feeling this fatigue work its way out of the system, looking forward to some nice meals and some amazing me time (a 20 hour meditation! woohoo)

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Health

Share your thoughts & comments?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s