You know I have been angered by people’s belief in their sense of “entitlement”- be it for just an expectation of holiday pay when they are on an hourly rate or the British students wanting free tuition so why do I feel a sense of entitlement about respect, happiness and my friends being with the right people!?
Today, I met one of the girls Ryan is dating and I was so unimpressed. I mean, here’s this absolutely awesome guy- for the most part atleast and he has it all- intelligence, looks (well yeah, he is blonde and more boyish cute than handsome in my eyes but each to their own), charm, wit, confidence, consideration and a heart of gold so why does he sell himself short… and why do I feel that he is entitled to someone so much better- someone equally witty, equally intelligent, equally confident and equally charming…. he admits he is shallow when it comes to women and I am all for being attracted to your partner, and maybe I am unusual in this sense but I am attracted to people based on their brains and personality- I have no physical expectations. Is it just that I am different and I go for the personality ‘cos I want something durable or is it just I feel disappointed that my own best friend, someone I care about so much disappoints me by aiming so low and being content with it?! I mean, if someone aims high in every other part of their life, should it be ok for them to aim low in one part of their life…
And why do I feel I have an entitlement to feeling so disappointed on his behalf? It’s his life- my role is to support him through it as a mate and advise him when I think he’s wrong but not to decide for him, right?! So why do I find it so difficult to accept that and just let him have his fun?!
And talking of entitlements, what exactly have I done in life to feel I am entitled to the man I envision in my head- someone my equal, someone I care about immensely, someone I love to be with, someone I can be me with. Why do I feel I am entitled to this? Just ‘cos all fairytales say so, just ‘cos everyone has drilled this belief into my head, just ‘cos that’s what I want?