I was having a chat with a mate a few days ago and this just dawned on us that I’ve had 3 really key intimate relationships and they have ALL finally ended this week- the week of July 19.
My first love (FL). Yeah, call in puppy love or whatever- I loved him and that’s all I believe in. He was my best friend for years and then we started dating… we were hardly together a few months when he moved to a different city (long distance #1). Even though we were complete kids and didn’t realise the depth of our decisions, we decided to get married or well, make a promise to each other for when it was legal! However a month later, he drowned in the violent sea and I lost the will to swim and to believe in love. FL, you know who you are and I still love you. This happened July 19, 1996. 14 years on, I still feel the pain and I still miss you.
My second love (SL) and I had an up and down relationship from the very beginning. We were never on the same page, yet we had a great time together- we loved each other, we shared some amazing chemistry and we were together for 5 years- on and off. We were more off than on and mostly due to us being in different cities in the same country. Whenever we weren’t together we had other relationships too but somehow we ended up coming back to each other for the chats, the laughs, the comfort and the love. I’ll be lying if I didn’t admit to our fantastic sex life too- it was beautiful. Finally, in 2007, July 21- we called in quits- I think the main reason was I had been with another guy (TL) and was on a break with him but missed him and couldn’t do a thing with SL. We are still friends, we still tend to gravitate towards each other when single but realise there is no future for us together and so have made a conscious effort to be just friends and finally succeeded at it. However, he will always be the one I’ll remember for his patience and his care to help me deal with my parent’s split and the one who made me believe in love again. Thank you SL- I hope you find a lady worthy of your love and a lady who has the capacity to give you a lot more than I can!
My third love (TL). Known him since I was 8, we were mates as kids, we were friends through the teenage years, we knew each other through each other’s relationships, we knew everything good and bad about each other and we cared for each other ALOT. A few years ago, we started talking on the phone a lot and so we got closer and closer to the extent we were talking to each other about 5-6 hours a week! Slowly the friendship turned to love for TL, while I was still with SL. Not wanting to cheat, I told him that. However, everytime I broke up with SL, TL would be there- as a friend but wanting more and then it happened, he got more. And so did I. We got engaged Dec 31, 2007- technically only a few months after we really got exclusive but we were very comfortable with the idea and we loved each other and we had a very strong foundation. Exactly 2 years ago today, July 24, 2008- I gave back the ring. I couldn’t marry someone who was competing with me- we were meant to support each other and not feel threatened by each other’s careers. I love you TL- I always will- but sadly, only as a friend. I am too ambitious for you and I want you to reach the potential you have in you but I can’t stand on the side and see you just coast along and be happy. I wanted you to be a man, my man but sadly I got a boy and I just couldn’t deal with it. I am sorry for the pain I have caused and I hope someday you’ll realise the amazing person you are. I wish you luck, love and happiness. I hope someday you have the strength to be with a strong woman and not a yes-woman, as a friend who has known you for so many years, I really do. I miss you and I miss our friendship but I do not miss our relationship.
3 major loves- many other relationships but not love-
3 heart breaks- well more too but not as bad as these-
3 different dates- 3 different years but all in the same week!
Is this a coincidence or because they come in threes, I can now move on?!