Jump, now.

Let’s avoid this trap!

dont wait

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Something beautiful

So the other day I was talking about the end of a very close friendship to another friend.

For obvious reasons, I am sad- it’s a huge part of my life and I do feel sad that thing went this sour but they do make for great memories.

She said to me, “The best way to look at it is that for each of you, the most beautiful thing of your lives emerged from the embers of this friendship.”

That’s such a beautiful thought!
#lookatthesilverlining

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Some days are just beauty!

There are days and then there are days we always remember.
I had a great day yesterday with 4 friends at different times and some time with Red, while getting a lot of work done…
That was beautiful- productive, enlightening, loving and beautiful.

But today- today is a BEAUTY!
I am tired, I slept little, woke up early…
I enjoyed some beautiful people watching with a cup of tea by the canal in the wee hours
I meditated and took some me time
I did yoga
And had 2 amazing meetings!

There’s some fantastic people out there, there are great conversations to be had but I truly wish I could bottle this euphoria, this feeling of calm, this feeling of excitement, this feeling of love and this feeling of achievement. It partly comes from a realisation that 3 years ago I started a form of meditation focusing on the life I wanted in about 3 years and today, I have 80% of it- the 80% that truly matters but it comes mostly from a place deep within that I am not sure even has a name… I hope we all have many more beautiful days like these in the many years to come!

Thank you world for this wonderful experience and feeling I am so blessed to enjoy :)

EDIT: Added afterwords

Today I reached out to TL to congratulate him and ended up reading some of the past messages we had shared when we were dating. I am so lucky to have dated such great guys- yes, it didn’t work out with them but they are such fantastic people and I feel lucky and honoured to still have them in my life in some part, however tiny and minimal it truly is!

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Every goodbye is a sad goodbye

When I was young my mother always warned me to not resist a transition- she advised me that each relationship will eventually change and the best thing to do is adapt with it. Most of the times, I have.

In each case, I have learnt that the other person has adapted too.
In those, where either one of us has been unable to adapt, we have moved apart- sad as it may be, such is life.

Each goodbye hurts, some more than others, for sure.
The ones that hurt the most are the ones where you realise that everyone involved potentially wasted their time because at the end of it all- no matter what, each friendship gives people something beautiful but sometimes you wonder does it all weigh up!

And then there are ones that despite having been dead for a good few years, keep showing up in some form and each time, the hurt deepens and doesn’t get better with time. I look forward to the day when I can look back at each goodbye with that sense of contentment knowing we all gave it our best, it wasn’t to be but there’s no pain on either side (not that I will be able to judge the other side).

In the meantime, to all the friendships I refer to above:
I thank you, I forgive you, I am sorry, I love you, Go in peace.

PS happy birthday FL, I miss you (or the idea of you, I dunno which!!) and that was a goodbye I never got to say.

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The beautiful colours!

I love the autumn colours, ALOT!

colours of autumnEventually I will dislike the winter, the rain, the cold and the perpetual gloomy mood everyone seems to be in but for now, I am looking forward to the shades of yellow and brown and the beauty it brings!

 

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The emotional vs logical scare

Ever been in a fight where you were scared of being beaten up?
Ever been in an argument so bad that the taxi driver wanted to call the cops for one’s safety?
Ever been in a scenario where one is so scared that it’s only some perverse sort of faith that lets you realise it’s a certain mix of words from others, anger, hurt, disdain and alcohol. Or is this love?

When it happened, I cried for ages and I knew the words he had said to me weren’t his but those of someone he had spent a long time talking to, the anger wasn’t directed at me per se but he needed to lash- all this made sense at a logical level yet it hurt, it hurt more than most things have in life. Through it, I cried to my friends, I re-evaluated certain people and their so-called motivation to help, I re-evaluated our whole relationship- trust me, this is tricky when you are trying to keep it hidden from the world beyond. I considered moving countries, I considered running away the way my father did, I considered many exit routes and knew none of them make me as happy as good day with Red. I would have survived, I would have found someone else eventually, I would have created a new circle of friends and a new life but I knew, I knew it wasn’t him. Logically I knew I had nothing to fear and emotionally I knew he would never hurt me, yet I was upset and I cried.

Recently the person who had instigated this kinda came back into the periphery of my life and once again, the wound was reopened. This time, it was way trickier as I was once again, having to put on a happy face and deal with it internally. Red and I have spoken about this in length since, he has understood the deep pain I was caused, the person who instigated it remains clueless and I have no intention of changing that but I wonder if this is what love is- despite the worst pain, you know the person doesn’t mean to hurt you, contrary to what it may look to the outside world. Or is this stupidity? I know we are in a much stronger place together as this situation could have risen again but we knew how to handle it much better this time. The fact that a previous hurt I had dealt with is coming back to haunt me is making me question things I was very content with and I am very confused about what I should be doing (again!).

I am SO confused- he is such a good person, he cares for me deeply, he makes me smile by just saying hey or making his presence known, he tells me when I am wrong, he inspires me to be a better and kinder person, makes me follow my dreams and shares his with me, takes advice off me and in all respects, we are a solid team but this deep, deep pain, which is technically not his fault, needs to be dealt with and I don’t know how!

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A Downward Spiral…

I was in such a vortex about 3 years ago- 2012 was a terrible year for me in many ways.
There were some 3 people that hurt me with their actions deeply, a lot of words said that broke my confidence, factors that made me wonder about the viability of a lot of things and because each thing was upsetting me more than the last and each disappointment was coming on top of another, I was on a downward spiral.

Through a lot of introspection, a lot of logic, a lot of sense, a tiny group of trusted confidantes, a busy social life, I faked it till I pulled myself out of the spiral. Every so often, I see people in that place. Sometimes I try and speak to them, sometimes I stage an intervention and sometimes despite my saying anything, they choose to ignore it.

The worst bit is when I see a friend/ an acquaintance/ someone I know going through this and not realising it. What I often also see is people in that state is their negativity is so strong they aren’t open to hearing the truth- how do you go about this?! Any ideas, peeps?It’s sad to see a person find negativity in everything even if it’s not meant to be!

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Punch!

Somedays all one wants to do is remember the boxing days, don on some gloves and punch the sh!t out of a punching bag!
The one thing that keep it sane for me is the really good set of people around me to pick me up, guide me, help me, make me laugh and just the ones who also understand trust and loyalty along the same vein that I do.

The only thing stopping me from truly having a punching session is a recent conversation with a friend after almost a year. For us, that’s usual- we tend to do that. She has seen me through so much, known aspects of me that few others have (mostly due to the fact that she has known me so long), been there when I broke my heart each time, turned to me every time her heart was broken, advised me when I took a misstep, looked at me for guidance when things weren’t necessarily perfect for her… it has been about 4 years since we saw each other in person, but when we are in 2 different continents and travel patterns differ, it can be tricky to make paths cross! It is also a confirmation yet again that my gut tends to be right.

Her words to me made me feel great, happy and accepting of the life situation I am in currently- the good, the bad, the exceptionally ugly, the not so ugly, the stressing, the irritating and the fun and the challenging. Her belief in my ethical compass and morals has further grounded me in my journey of life.

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Cha- cha- cha- changing…!

Yesterday, after a very long time, I was at home in the evening, chatting to some friends I needed to catch up with, reading a book and just being me. So I decided to take some time out and focus on myself and see how I have changed, what are the good things I have taken on and what not so good. So overall, I am happy with the person I am, there are areas I need to work on and not wanting to completely beat myself up, I am gonna go with the classic sandwich approach and talk about the ways I have changed…

1. Priorities
I am waaay better at prioritising things I want to do, people I want to see, goals I want to achieve, places I want to visit etc. Every time I am juggling a million things, I still seem to know what is the best thing for me to put my energy towards. For example, recently I had the option of going to a gig with a good few bands I wanted to see playing, horse riding, sailing and a party- knowing I would have way more fun at the party and the importance of it for me was the one I chose whereas, it would normally have been horseriding that would have won. Similarly, at work, doing my morning to-do lists and prioritising my focus means I achieve what I want to achieve! And definitely way better at ensuring I have time for the people I appreciate in my life and those who appreciate me. And definitely know a pair of Louboitins win over a whole week of healthy dinners ;) (yeah, I did that! I said I have improved not that I am perfect!!)

2. Communication
What used to be a very good skill of mine is somehow slipping away from me. I seem to have less time, too many platforms and maybe cos I am always in a rush to get it done, I don’t weigh what I am saying and somehow a few times, it has been misconstrued but never once intended that way. I definitely need to improve on this skill and at least go back to the level I was at it.

3. Quality Time
The busier I get, the less I want to party- partly because the next day hangover means one less day of getting things done! I am not a workaholic but I am a busyaholic and I do seem to prefer a good conversation and a coffee over a night full of cocktails. It also means that when I do have a cocktail full night, it’s great craic and I have an absolutely brilliant time!

4. Ranting
I never used to be a ranter before- this is something new that seems to have come about in the last 3/4 years. Somehow it has crept into my daily life and I really don’t like it. I need to give out less, get less offended about things and stay more positive. I am an optimistic person, usually quite happy with the way life is going but when something peeves me off now, I let it affect me longer than it should. I need to go back to not caring about things I can’t change!

5. Self esteem
I have always enjoyed good self-esteem and self-confidence. These are not areas that have needed work or so I thought. I have further identified the values I believe in, the morals I stand for and the ethics that define me. These have become much stronger guiding principles in my life and I always seem to be working with as the way I make the tougher decisions in life. Where in the past I may have been more forgiving, a lot softer and definitely a lot more understanding, I make tougher calls with these ideologies and try to surround myself only with the people who are similar, things that match my way of thinking and focus on creating the life I want, full of positivity, happiness and contentment.

6. PMS Irrationality
Definitely the hormonal issue most girls can’t avoid… pity! I have tried a few different things to fix it but chocolate seems to be the only thing that sustains me through the 3 days of pure irrationality- I feel like screaming, I say things I don’t necessarily mean to say, I fight with Red (he’s a saint) and I cry for no reason. I really don’t like it but bar going on the pill and messing up my insides completely (& potentially losing any interest in Red), I need to figure out a way to deal with it. Something that has started in the last 2 years cannot define the next 2 decades pre menopause for 10% of every month!!!

7. Trust
I have always had issues with trust. My teacher, my dad, my bestfriends have all hurt me at some level in the past. I have been backstabbed a few times. The last year or so have helped me define my own boundaries for trust. There is only person in the world I trust and that’s me. Sad but true. I do have a lot of trust for other people but the levels vary and the number of people I keep in that group is smaller than ever. I care for more people than I have but I trust fewer than I have and I love it like this. Those few who are in that circle of trust have proven to me time and again that they deserve it and I know that the moment they make a small mistake, I am not gonna share. Earning my trust is definitely getting tougher and I hope this doesn’t end up affecting my kindness at any level as Red has taught me new levels of kindness in the last while and the few times I have tried following his principles, I have ended up getting into the odd mess!

8. Confrontation
I don’t avoid them anymore. I prefer to meet and clear out things. Texting, emailing and all these other forms have never been my preferred choice and now I do all I can to avoid it. I suspect a face to face conversation clears out more issues quicker than anything else. I have in the past preferred to apologise, ignore issues etc but no I prefer to just get them dealt with in a no nonsense manner and get them out of my way.

9. Happiness
I am constantly understanding what happiness means to me and able to therefore amend my plans accordingly to keep my happiness level at almost always optimum.

10. Balance
It’s taken me a while but I have eventually found a balance- a balance between work and life, a balance in the ‘office’, a balance in my career, a balance in my spending etc. And definitely more spiritually balanced too as I have meditating more and doing more yoga. I dunno about vibrating at higher level lark but I feel loads better.

All in all, yes, I have a few areas to work on that have changed from before and a few areas I have identified that still need help but I hope I keep making amends constantly and hope most of them are for the better. Here’s to all of us being better people when we wake up than when we went to sleep!

Love xx

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An Innocent Bystander

I realised the biggest downside of being in a relationship- it possibly took me forever to learn the lesson that others have inherently known but I did. I have always treated each relationship as between two people but the more I see the world, the more I realise everyone isn’t as clearcut about relationships.

Recently, there was a bit of a fall out between someone I thought was a friend and me- things came to a head yesterday and we have agreed to go on differing paths.

There were a few things that upset me:
– it was yet another miscommunication issue
– after a great day on Saturday, I felt a change to some extent was actually possible but so was not the case
– Red getting affecting without needing to

blame

There are a few lessons here for me:
– not to trust anyone the way I have in the past ever again
– to really try and read the worst in what I say/ write as it will be picked up in that vein way more than it would be in the way I intended
– to think of every relationship from a couple stand point yet treat it as my own singular one

I sincerely hope I can amend my ways before I cause anyone else unintended hurt.
As way of somehow putting it all to an end for me, I wish the people affected the very best and truly hope they get all they deserve. They have been good friends at different times to me and I sincerely wish them well.

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Do it, do it, do it.

Yes, just dance!

dance to get people out of your wayNOW!!!

Trust me, it keeps you sane :)

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THAT moment…

Yes, that!

awkward moment- smile

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Adventures rock!

Amen to this:

great adventuresI love adventures and the lack of knowing what is gonna unfold- I have had some amazing ones in the last while and the current one is terrifying, exciting and nerve-wrecking: life is a journey that I am glad to be traveling.

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Beards…

Now I love me a good beard but you know what, the hipster look, the lumberjack syndrome or whatever it may be means there’s too many beards around and the thing is, many of them shouldn’t be!

I am Indian- facial hair is all cool with me. But keep it clean please and here’s an idea of what we women like and don’t like- it ain’t gospel, I don’t fancy Gandalf’s beard but that because I imagine it tickles and I don’t like them tickles!

beard attractivenessKeep the good beards, peeps!

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Anyone else have days like these…?

… I have procrastinated and procrastinated…

Audited so soonTomorrow WILL be more productive (but then, that’s not tough!)

:)

 

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Only 10 mins a day…

Did you know that it takes only 10 mins a day of proper meditation to keep yourself healthy and on track?!

Amah-zing!

Whoever knew. I dunno if it’s the previous handwork paying off, if it’s just coincide or whatever but since I focused on making myself a better person and meditating more and more, I am in a much better place- more grounded, more relaxed, more at ease with myself, more aware of my friends, more giving and mostly, more successful.

Life rocks! Meditate people- it only needs to be 10 minutes a day- we can ALL take that out.

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Yoga does abs?!

So, I have grown up, knowing of Yoga for years and avoiding it as a child… it was too uncool and boring, really!
Oh how I wish I had more attention then….

Recently, I was reading an article on food and came across this collection of abs exercises (I dislike crunches a lot) and decided to flick through. As I was going through them, I relayed so many of them are yoga asanas!

No wonder a surya namaskar still packs a tougher punch than most exercises today and doing 108 of them a day will keep you fit physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Once again, a win for yoga!

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You Just Know

Recently, a friend of mine was talking to me about her experience with an ex.

Even though it’s been 4 years since they parted ways (and a good thing it was too), he texted her out of the blue wanting to renew relations (as if). Through the tone of his texts, she could tell what he was thinking.

This got me thinking:
– Does she know ‘cos of the amount of time they spent together?
– Does she know ‘cos that’s what she wants to think even if she disagrees with wanting to feel that way?
– Does she know ‘cos she has moved on and he hasn’t?

How do you know?
And how do you know what you are thinking is right or not?
Do we really need to turn to such measures to feel better about ourselves?

I know I am guilty of this too- is this just a survival instinct or is this a way of justifying our behaviour?!

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Onion or Garlic: HELP!!

For the longest period of my life, I have cooked garlic, then ginger and then onions- not knowing why.
Almost all the recipes suggest cooking onions first due to the burning point and garlic flavouring.

Anyone know what is chemically the right way and how they interact with our bodies?
I have been trying to find it in Ayurveda but since onion and garlic are actually avoided in the cooking there, I am unable to get a scientific response.

If anyone can help me, please mail me or comment here so I can get to the bottom of this!

Amadea Morningstar, Vasant Lad, Usha Lad- if you are reading this per chance, please, pretty please, help!

THANK YOU! xx

 

UPDATE:
Garlic should be fried first, ginger second, chillies third and onions last.
Most spices should be added once onions are a little soft but things like cumin, mustard, curry leaves and asafoetida should be pre garlic.

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To all those I knew…

Over the years, I have had to say goodbye to a lot of friends.
I have learnt, it’s usually not necessarily personal but a diversion of two people with two different ideologies and priorities.

I saw this today and it made me smile: this captures it beautifully.

a4d9b339467b6aa9c046d2c71491ea0a

Thank you for the memories, you all.

More importantly, thank you for letting go. Wish you all the very best x

 

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Creative life!

 

accept being wrong

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Be sincere.

I learnt a very important lesson last week- be sincere. I had always known that but I was reminded it again.

I was coming up to a deadline and was talking to a friend of mine about it. She offered to help me and when I took her up on the offer, she automatically started making excuses or finding reasons to not.

I was surprised and shocked- to me, if you offer, it should be a compliment when someone accepts it.
Also, cos when I offer, I tend to mean it- I keep my mouth shut otherwise. For example, when people are moving into new places, I never offer help- I don’t like to but if someone asks and I can, I do help!

I know I shouldn’t take it personally, which I fortunately haven’t but it was a jolt and if you are reading this, I urge you to remember to BE SINCERE- there is a lot of good that comes from that :)

Define beauty

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When did the change happen?!

So, today midst conversation, a  friend thanked me for something and included Red in it- he had nothing to do with the conversation, with the topic or with anything, he wasn’t even present.

I still don’t introduce him as my boyfriend, I rarely call him my partner and I often just say “This is Red”.

So when did my identity become a part of us? When did everything I do become a part of his? And conversely, I presume, when did everything I do become a part of his?

We fight for our individualism, we seek it yet sometimes, we obviously don’t impact the way people think. Is this a society thing? Is this the way we are wired?

I am not against him getting the mention at all, I am (to some extent) glad of it but a wee part of me does want to ensure I remain Joy before I am Joy and Red. Am I weird?!

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March into March!

And so I have.. after a whole month away, after a whole month of knowing how amazing life is (yet again) and after a whole month of realising how many of you visit this site even when I am not posting anything new, WOW!

So, with a new month, I am gonna change the format and not write the weekly recaps I have been- the habit I needed to form is formed and it is very much a part of my life now. Along side, I have started a new habit every night:
– Say thanks to the thing I am most grateful for every day- this is different to the 3 weekly ones, this is something more basic and something to do every single day
– Re live the happiest/ favourite moment of the day so when I fall asleep, it is on a high and I have thoughts of a similar nature.

So what am I going to blog about now? I truly wonder but since this started off as a place for me to write about travels I did, hardly ever wrote about them or a place to just vent and be me and then morphed into a regular diary of sorts… I am excited about the new change!

Here’s to marching into March, full of excitement, change and new beginnings!

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Jan 30, Friday: Weekly Achievements

1. A couple of good public engagements- almost as if I were branding myself to some extent but hey, I am trying to step out of my comfort zone so…
2. Catching up with good friends, old friends and the type of friends I want in my life- those who appreciate me and those I appreciate
3. A massive headway in the work sphere- exciting, exciting.

Now for a month off from blogging- I may still put up the odd post but I intend to publish my next post in March now- stay healthy all, remember to be happy and keep loving yourselves and those around you.

Much peace and joy to all,
Joy.

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Jan 29, Thursday: Letter

Dear Winnie

As I get ready to see you in less than 48 hours, I can’t help but think of the time we have known each other- since back in the 90s to now… we have come a long way. Having known you for all my adult life, seen both of us morph into different beige, going down very different paths but being so strongly connected, enjoying our travels, squabbling over our differences,  we have been through a lot.

We don’t always see eye to eye, we don’t mince our words with each other, yet we always know we have a mature friendship that can endure a lot and is balanced on a lot of trust and understanding. The lack of drama most of the time, the great laughs and the deep chats is what signifies us for what we are to each other.

I am so glad and so proud to have you as one of my closest friends in this world. I absolutely adore you and am very excited about adding new chats and memories.

Love you loads,
Joy.

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Jan 27, Tuesday: A Beautiful Moment

Today, I went for my what is now a 3 weekly massage routine. I absolutely love these massages and feel great when I get them. Over the years, the therapist and I have become friendly and we know the drill. We spend about 3 mins initially talking about what’s happening in terms of the big picture but after that, I go towards falling asleep, meditating and enjoying the way he works each knot out of my back.

I look back at the many Sundays in my childhood and realise how lucky I truly was to have grown up with what I consider a necessity and realise how ingrained massages are to my heritage. Since we are born, we are massaged- it’s just the done thing.

The joys of a good massage.

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Jan 26, Monday: Gratitude

1. Networking
One of those skills that has no real tangible value but immense intangible value. Believe what goes around comes around and do the best for everyone else, funnily things start falling on place for one self! I love it.

2. Laughter
You can’t beat a good laugh. Period.

3. Luxury
The last while I have spoilt myself, even while booking some of our hotels for our holidays, we have made some expensive choices but hey, we only live once, yeah?! While we are flash packing, it would be awesome to enjoy these experiences!

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Jan 23, Friday: Weekly Achievements

1. Partied sensibly a few times with people I need to be with
2. Enjoyed a fantastic and off-tangent conversation with Red about life, death and other topics one may not touch frequently
3. Bought some beautiful dresses for myself
4. Met some amazing targets in work while doing this!

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Jan 22, Thursday: Letter

Dear Fairy

From the moment you danced in to my life that day in the pub many years ago to today, it’s been some ride. We have had our differences, our clashes, our chats, our cries and our laughs. Today, you embark on a new chapter and I wish you the utmost luck, not that you need it.

You are absolutely awesome and I am delighted you are one of my closest friends today- I look forward to us downing ourselves in cocktails, even when we are 90!

Love loads,
Joy.

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Boo yeah!

You know the crash after the high??
It’s usually horrible.
But what if it never comes? What if one has genuinely figured a way to just stay at an even keel that even the crash may cause you to be tired but you still feel a sense of calm and contentment?
I have reached that space- mental or whatever, I have. I dunno what this is called, I have no clue how I got here and scarily, I have no clue how to maintain this!!!!!!!

For now, I am gonna enjoy this feeling of pure satisfaction.

F*ck me, I love my life.

change perspective

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Jan 20, Tuesday: Beautiful Moment

Many years ago, I launched my first business. Little did I know or realise, that would be the start of some sort of an internal shift in me.

Starting a business is not as tough as most make it to be, making it work and getting sales in is the tricky aspect!

I am glad to have seen the ups and downs of many. This is the year I decide between being my own boss and choosing the safety to money etc- it’s weird how some decisions are still run by a body clock and an instinct to adopt/ foster/ give birth, eh?

Or in my case, travel loads and not worry about anything ;)

Big year ahead- exciting times and I am so glad I have the memories and experiences that I do.

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Jan 19, Monday: Gratitude

1. Readers
When I started this, I did it for me. I only shared the link with about 3 friends and that was it- it was my diary and my place to be me. Now, I think 4 other friends have the link making it a total of 7 people I know but the number of people who comment, email me, read this is amazing and when I sometimes see the stats, I am blown away by the interest in my ramblings. Thank you.

2. Travels
Planning a holiday is just the start but going on one is amazing and I am looking forward to taking a detox month of Feb from the online world and blogging to go spend some time with my family. The weekend away, though only one night, was amazing as well and I am so grateful to appreciate these moments.

3. Movies
This year, I have seen some fantastic movies- less than a month and cinema has been awesome, I love it!

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Jan 16, Friday: Weekly Achievements

1. Loads of meditation
2. Maintained a high without any sugar and so far, no crash
3. Lived a first class life and gotten loads of work done too

I am LOVING it!

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Jan 15, Thursday: Letter

Dear Ladies

You know who you are- the ladies who add a lot of wholesomeness to my life- the ladies who understand my need to scream, hike, meditate, sleep, drink and vent every so often, the ladies who give me the strength when everything is going under and the ladies who help me share ideas.

I adore you guys- you have been a part of my life for ages and I am so glad we started this unit this year- only 2 weeks in and you lot are my saviour. I love you both.

Thank you for everything so far already and thank you for all the goodness coming our way in the future- here’s to us stomping the world!

Love,
Joy.

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Jan 13, Tuesday: A Beautiful Moment

I love shoes and I genuinely understand the need for designer shoes- they are that bit classier, that bit more comfortable and just that bit more well made.

I bought my first ever pair for myself in Dec 2003 and it was love at first sight- I still can’t get rid of them though they have become fairly uncomfortable to wear for any length of time. A part of me can’t bear to part with them.

Buying a pair of shoes you fall in love with is something many don’t understand or unfortunately, don’t experience but I love it and I love adding to my collection as often as I can- I am glad I have reached a stage where each and every shoe I own is a thing of beauty and something I love wearing!

PS Happy Lohri all x

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Jan 12, Monday: Gratitude

1. Future Thinking
Last week, 2 of my friends and I made a pact to try harder to achieve higher goals- professionally and personally. We are all focusing on our 12 for the year and I must admit, the possibilities excite me, leave me trying to balance nervousness with determination and make me feel so amazingly happy to be a part of this world!

2. Good Food
The last weekend has been a bit bland for my taste buds and I am made to realise how important good food is- no wonder people eat loads- the horrible flavours make you want to eat more and more and more. I like good food and am glad I can enjoy it as often as I do.

3. Dancing
Indian weddings are famous for their dancing. Red learning to dance is amazing and I am falling in love with him even more!

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Jan 9, Fri: Weekly Achievements

1. Didn’t reach out to Tigger even when I saw something I knew she’s appreciate loads and therefore, reaffirming my self respect to self. (Also proud of myself for not discussing the issue with others last week when it came up in conversation- I just left it at a misunderstanding and that’s it!)
2. Did a fairly decent plan for 2015, needs tweaking but is well started.
3. Ate really well and exercised too. Much needed after all the festive indulgences!

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Jan 8, Thursday

Dear Harry

Who would have thought we would come to a day where I would be the best man at your wedding?!
This is such a turn of events, such a twist and such an honour.

We don’t see eye to eye on many things, we have different opinions on what to do for certain events but the idea of organising the wine and whiskey tastings, the signing of the registry and the photographs… they make me skill when I look back to our first date and the moments we have shared.

Here’s to a fun ride ahead of us :)

Love,
Joy.

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Jan 6, Tuesday: A Beautiful Moment

Many moons ago, I went on  my first alone relaxation trip!

I took myself off to a spa, to read, relax, sleep, eat, drink, lounge, get massaged and just get away from everyone in the world.

Every so often, I miss that- I miss the feeling of pure and utter bliss, the feeling of happiness, the feeling of just relaxing and then, I find those in simple things such as a good conversation, a nice bath, a warm hug.

However, Nothing beats my first weekend of indulgence away- the best treat I gave myself! :)

Here’s to a blissful, happy, relaxed 2015 x

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Happy Mondays!

Today, I got the news a friend of mine who I suspect I would have been close in different circumstances got engaged. Now, I must admit, I find her partner dull and a bitta cardboard for my style but it works for them and he has been amazing for her- calming her down, giving her support when she needed and just being an all round sound guy.

In the last 4 weeks, at least 10 couples I know personally have gotten engaged and about 5 couples eloped- this just got me wondering:

a. Am I at that age where the second phase of weddings have started?
b. Is it really such a cliched seasonal thing?
c. Am I just more aware of it now myself?!

If it’s ‘a’, I feel a lot older all of a sudden, ‘b’ then so be it and ‘c’, then I am worried, very worried for myself- when did I become that sort of a girl who notices engagements and weddings?!

<20 mins later>

When I dig deeper into this, I realise I have become more aware. The awareness itself doesn’t stem from envy or jealousy but from a place of contentment and a place of knowing who I genuinely want to care for.

– the contentment comes from knowing I am happy- yes, being with Red is part of it but I like to believe I would be happy irrespective and that I have in the last 18 odd months figured out more about myself, more about where I want to go and more about where I come from within

– the caring comes from having been vulnerable to others too many times, knowing I am choosing my friends now and knowing who matters to me means that when something important happens to them, I am delighted and therefore, more aware. Yes, the numbers above do include people I wouldn’t really count as my close friends but it is nice to know of the big events of their life!

So there, happy Monday or what- that’s one way to beat the blues, eh?! Cosy up, snuggle up and enjoy the love in your lives- be it a dog, a friend or most importantly, just yourself xxx

Love = miracles

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Jan 5, Monday: Gratitude

1. DIY
I am not much of a DIY person but being able to paint this weekend, drill a few holes when needed and other such bits is always a learning experience for me and I am glad I can learn them and perform too!

2. Rest
The past 2 weeks have been a good break- the way things worked out, I actually caught up on tonnes of sleep and managed to get somewhat refreshed- now for the holidays in a few weeks ;)

3. Planning
Ability to plan ahead is something I am proud of and planning holidays… even more so! This year is rife with weddings but to be able to make them into mini adventures is even more special! Also all sorts of other planning too- some exciting times ahead, personally and professionally.

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Jan 2, Fri: Weekly Achievements

HAPPY NEW YEAR all!!!

Isn’t 2015 already so beautiful- I love the feeling of a new year- somehow it feels like a random reason to get rid of the old and start new!

1. Had a great night on NYE and still managed to go for a walk on new years day
2. A beautiful dinner with friends
3. 3 baths in 1 week- love, love, love it!

Here’s to a fantastically beautiful year ahead all :)

Lots of love xxx

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Dec 29, Monday: Gratitude

And I am back- hope you have been having a fabulous break :)

1. Comfort
Comfortable clothes, comfortable surroundings, comfortable in your own skin and the sort of comfortable behaving that comes from love, knowing each other well and being good friends- the past few days have been aglow with a sort of light that reeks of love, happiness and comfort. To be able to feel like and even more so, realise it, is definitely something to be grateful for!

2. Good hair and skin
Over the last while, I have experimented with a lot of different products, diets etc and I seem to have found a way to keep my hair thick and full and my skin clean and glowing- exercise and diet play a hugely important part for sure but simple products like coconut oil, yoghurt, herbs etc are pretty awesome. Knowing how to use them is a definite advantage.

3. Relaxing
Christmas wouldn’t be christmas without a few days of just chilling and relaxing thrown in- we have had some epic 5 am parties in the last week but also afternoon snoozes that lasted for hours, sitting on the couch etc etc etc- yeah baby, snoozing, fires, cups of tea and just chilling are a good way to be. Boo yeah!

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Dec 23, Tuesday: A Beautiful Moment

Today, I was thinking of different people I want to treat/ pamper/ thank if I hit certain milestones next year and how I will show them my gratitude…

It reminded me of last Christmas when I was making a puzzle for someone as a present- that puzzle took hours of hardwork- it needed me to put in a lot of work and try and make it just right- after all the real present was a voucher and it had to be further preserve with sheets of cling film/ tape/ etc to protect it. Through it all, I really enjoyed making it and I absolutely seeing the face of the recipient as they pieced it together.

I love giving and I am so very glad that I can give whatever little I do- here’s to a fantastic Christmas week ahead and I am really looking forward to even more giving. Whoop xxx

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Dec 22, Mon: Gratitude

1. Driving
The luxury to own a car, the ability to drive, the sense to enjoy the twinkling lights to Dublin bay on a clear night, the beauty of silence or music, the joy of enjoying a moment alone.

2. Christmas celebrations
Having so many so far and having a few more ahead does mean I may not write for the rest of the year perhaps or may have the random check in only but to be able to have so many celebrations and to be invited other people’s homes and hearts is definitely a thing to be grateful for.

3. Feel good films
I love movies and sometimes, we need some feel good movies- to have enjoyed 2 excellent ones in 2 days is a definite thing of luck!

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Who we are…

I think this has been advice I have heeded the last while and weirdly, I think I have become healthier and with much better skin too! Maybe we need to realise who we are defines how we look.

becoming older

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Dec 19, Fri: Weekly Achievements

1. Had a fantastic dinner with my housemates and the new one moving in next week.
2. Spent a fabulous evening having real heart to heart with a really good friend.
3. Made huge progress in my project at work and caught up on most emails!

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Dec 18, Thursday: Letter

Dear little sis,

You are awesome. I adore you so much and am so glad that thanks to technology we are so good at keeping in touch- the silly ideas you send my way, the silly jokes we share, the plans we hatch, the fun we have- I am absolutely delighted we are the way we are! It’s good to have you by my side when we have the silly brothers that we do :)

You have grown to be such a wonderful person, still confused about everything but with a fantastic heart that is very generous and giving to all.

I am so proud to call you my sister and I am so glad we are both as excited as we are about being ‘bua’ together.

Love you loads and can’t wait to give you a hug in a few weeks time.

Yours always, with lots and lots of love and happiness,
Joy di

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Getting rid of the negative…

Here’s a great set of questions I came across about getting rid of all that is in your way and your success:

– Do things not always work out for you?

– Do you get blocked or sabotaged when reaching towards a goal? Identify any patterns from the past.

– When was the last time you were upset? Why?

– Do you experience the same challenges over and over?

– Do the same things create an emotional rise for you?

I am looking forward to identifying where I stop myself- every few months I repeat such exercises and I have noticed some fairly strong patterns emerging which have then helped me distance myself from things I don’t necessarily agree with- people, habits, thoughts, words. Next stop, reducing my cursing!

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