Now I love me a good beard but you know what, the hipster look, the lumberjack syndrome or whatever it may be means there’s too many beards around and the thing is, many of them shouldn’t be!
I am Indian- facial hair is all cool with me. But keep it clean please and here’s an idea of what we women like and don’t like- it ain’t gospel, I don’t fancy Gandalf’s beard but that because I imagine it tickles and I don’t like them tickles!
So, for the longest period of time, I have a habit of pushing away people who got too close to me.
This was mostly a way of not feeling comfortable with anyone knowing me so well or me having that dependancy on anyone.
I seem to be at a stage where two negative forces are striking together at the same time- the relationship is at that comfortable phase where the two of us know the other person is there and may not necessarily make that extra effort we used to and I want to run.
I know I am in the wrong and I don’t know what to do or how best to tackle it. I suppose recognising it now means I may not go down the trap of making a mistake, completely!
Here’s hoping x
Did you know that it takes only 10 mins a day of proper meditation to keep yourself healthy and on track?!
Whoever knew. I dunno if it’s the previous handwork paying off, if it’s just coincide or whatever but since I focused on making myself a better person and meditating more and more, I am in a much better place- more grounded, more relaxed, more at ease with myself, more aware of my friends, more giving and mostly, more successful.
Life rocks! Meditate people- it only needs to be 10 minutes a day- we can ALL take that out.
So, I have grown up, knowing of Yoga for years and avoiding it as a child… it was too uncool and boring, really!
Oh how I wish I had more attention then….
Recently, I was reading an article on food and came across this collection of abs exercises (I dislike crunches a lot) and decided to flick through. As I was going through them, I relayed so many of them are yoga asanas!
No wonder a surya namaskar still packs a tougher punch than most exercises today and doing 108 of them a day will keep you fit physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Once again, a win for yoga!
Recently, a friend of mine was talking to me about her experience with an ex.
Even though it’s been 4 years since they parted ways (and a good thing it was too), he texted her out of the blue wanting to renew relations (as if). Through the tone of his texts, she could tell what he was thinking.
This got me thinking:
– Does she know ‘cos of the amount of time they spent together?
– Does she know ‘cos that’s what she wants to think even if she disagrees with wanting to feel that way?
– Does she know ‘cos she has moved on and he hasn’t?
How do you know?
And how do you know what you are thinking is right or not?
Do we really need to turn to such measures to feel better about ourselves?
I know I am guilty of this too- is this just a survival instinct or is this a way of justifying our behaviour?!
For the longest period of my life, I have cooked garlic, then ginger and then onions- not knowing why.
Almost all the recipes suggest cooking onions first due to the burning point and garlic flavouring.
Anyone know what is chemically the right way and how they interact with our bodies?
I have been trying to find it in Ayurveda but since onion and garlic are actually avoided in the cooking there, I am unable to get a scientific response.
If anyone can help me, please mail me or comment here so I can get to the bottom of this!
Amadea Morningstar, Vasant Lad, Usha Lad- if you are reading this per chance, please, pretty please, help!
THANK YOU! xx
Garlic should be fried first, ginger second, chillies third and onions last.
Most spices should be added once onions are a little soft but things like cumin, mustard, curry leaves and asafoetida should be pre garlic.
Over the years, I have had to say goodbye to a lot of friends.
I have learnt, it’s usually not necessarily personal but a diversion of two people with two different ideologies and priorities.
I saw this today and it made me smile: this captures it beautifully.
Thank you for the memories, you all.
More importantly, thank you for letting go. Wish you all the very best x
I learnt a very important lesson last week- be sincere. I had always known that but I was reminded it again.
I was coming up to a deadline and was talking to a friend of mine about it. She offered to help me and when I took her up on the offer, she automatically started making excuses or finding reasons to not.
I was surprised and shocked- to me, if you offer, it should be a compliment when someone accepts it.
Also, cos when I offer, I tend to mean it- I keep my mouth shut otherwise. For example, when people are moving into new places, I never offer help- I don’t like to but if someone asks and I can, I do help!
I know I shouldn’t take it personally, which I fortunately haven’t but it was a jolt and if you are reading this, I urge you to remember to BE SINCERE- there is a lot of good that comes from that :)
So, today midst conversation, a friend thanked me for something and included Red in it- he had nothing to do with the conversation, with the topic or with anything, he wasn’t even present.
I still don’t introduce him as my boyfriend, I rarely call him my partner and I often just say “This is Red”.
So when did my identity become a part of us? When did everything I do become a part of his? And conversely, I presume, when did everything I do become a part of his?
We fight for our individualism, we seek it yet sometimes, we obviously don’t impact the way people think. Is this a society thing? Is this the way we are wired?
I am not against him getting the mention at all, I am (to some extent) glad of it but a wee part of me does want to ensure I remain Joy before I am Joy and Red. Am I weird?!
And so I have.. after a whole month away, after a whole month of knowing how amazing life is (yet again) and after a whole month of realising how many of you visit this site even when I am not posting anything new, WOW!
So, with a new month, I am gonna change the format and not write the weekly recaps I have been- the habit I needed to form is formed and it is very much a part of my life now. Along side, I have started a new habit every night:
– Say thanks to the thing I am most grateful for every day- this is different to the 3 weekly ones, this is something more basic and something to do every single day
– Re live the happiest/ favourite moment of the day so when I fall asleep, it is on a high and I have thoughts of a similar nature.
So what am I going to blog about now? I truly wonder but since this started off as a place for me to write about travels I did, hardly ever wrote about them or a place to just vent and be me and then morphed into a regular diary of sorts… I am excited about the new change!
Here’s to marching into March, full of excitement, change and new beginnings!
1. A couple of good public engagements- almost as if I were branding myself to some extent but hey, I am trying to step out of my comfort zone so…
2. Catching up with good friends, old friends and the type of friends I want in my life- those who appreciate me and those I appreciate
3. A massive headway in the work sphere- exciting, exciting.
Now for a month off from blogging- I may still put up the odd post but I intend to publish my next post in March now- stay healthy all, remember to be happy and keep loving yourselves and those around you.
Much peace and joy to all,
As I get ready to see you in less than 48 hours, I can’t help but think of the time we have known each other- since back in the 90s to now… we have come a long way. Having known you for all my adult life, seen both of us morph into different beige, going down very different paths but being so strongly connected, enjoying our travels, squabbling over our differences, we have been through a lot.
We don’t always see eye to eye, we don’t mince our words with each other, yet we always know we have a mature friendship that can endure a lot and is balanced on a lot of trust and understanding. The lack of drama most of the time, the great laughs and the deep chats is what signifies us for what we are to each other.
I am so glad and so proud to have you as one of my closest friends in this world. I absolutely adore you and am very excited about adding new chats and memories.
Love you loads,
Today, I went for my what is now a 3 weekly massage routine. I absolutely love these massages and feel great when I get them. Over the years, the therapist and I have become friendly and we know the drill. We spend about 3 mins initially talking about what’s happening in terms of the big picture but after that, I go towards falling asleep, meditating and enjoying the way he works each knot out of my back.
I look back at the many Sundays in my childhood and realise how lucky I truly was to have grown up with what I consider a necessity and realise how ingrained massages are to my heritage. Since we are born, we are massaged- it’s just the done thing.
The joys of a good massage.
One of those skills that has no real tangible value but immense intangible value. Believe what goes around comes around and do the best for everyone else, funnily things start falling on place for one self! I love it.
You can’t beat a good laugh. Period.
The last while I have spoilt myself, even while booking some of our hotels for our holidays, we have made some expensive choices but hey, we only live once, yeah?! While we are flash packing, it would be awesome to enjoy these experiences!
In the past, when some of my friends accomplished certain achievements, I may have felt a twinge of lack of my own abilities… over time, I have realised I was comparing my skills on a scale of 0 to theirs and not taking my own into account.
Yeah, I went through a bitta self-esteem issues for sure.
This week gone by, a friend launched a book (worth a read if you need some dating advice, women), another launched a business (get some amazing paintings of Ireland) and I just sat back and enjoyed their glory and wished them luck!
I was full of pride of knowing them and having them in my life. I was full of excitement for them and even if I personally didn’t feel I have achieved much, I feel great about life and it’s a huge sense of realisation, understanding and growth for me- there’s my achievement!
Now to beat the other aspects out of me and keep improving ;)
Lotsa love all xx
1. Partied sensibly a few times with people I need to be with
2. Enjoyed a fantastic and off-tangent conversation with Red about life, death and other topics one may not touch frequently
3. Bought some beautiful dresses for myself
4. Met some amazing targets in work while doing this!
From the moment you danced in to my life that day in the pub many years ago to today, it’s been some ride. We have had our differences, our clashes, our chats, our cries and our laughs. Today, you embark on a new chapter and I wish you the utmost luck, not that you need it.
You are absolutely awesome and I am delighted you are one of my closest friends today- I look forward to us downing ourselves in cocktails, even when we are 90!
Many years ago, I launched my first business. Little did I know or realise, that would be the start of some sort of an internal shift in me.
Starting a business is not as tough as most make it to be, making it work and getting sales in is the tricky aspect!
I am glad to have seen the ups and downs of many. This is the year I decide between being my own boss and choosing the safety to money etc- it’s weird how some decisions are still run by a body clock and an instinct to adopt/ foster/ give birth, eh?
Or in my case, travel loads and not worry about anything ;)
Big year ahead- exciting times and I am so glad I have the memories and experiences that I do.
When I started this, I did it for me. I only shared the link with about 3 friends and that was it- it was my diary and my place to be me. Now, I think 4 other friends have the link making it a total of 7 people I know but the number of people who comment, email me, read this is amazing and when I sometimes see the stats, I am blown away by the interest in my ramblings. Thank you.
Planning a holiday is just the start but going on one is amazing and I am looking forward to taking a detox month of Feb from the online world and blogging to go spend some time with my family. The weekend away, though only one night, was amazing as well and I am so grateful to appreciate these moments.
This year, I have seen some fantastic movies- less than a month and cinema has been awesome, I love it!
1. Loads of meditation
2. Maintained a high without any sugar and so far, no crash
3. Lived a first class life and gotten loads of work done too
I am LOVING it!
You know who you are- the ladies who add a lot of wholesomeness to my life- the ladies who understand my need to scream, hike, meditate, sleep, drink and vent every so often, the ladies who give me the strength when everything is going under and the ladies who help me share ideas.
I adore you guys- you have been a part of my life for ages and I am so glad we started this unit this year- only 2 weeks in and you lot are my saviour. I love you both.
Thank you for everything so far already and thank you for all the goodness coming our way in the future- here’s to us stomping the world!
I love shoes and I genuinely understand the need for designer shoes- they are that bit classier, that bit more comfortable and just that bit more well made.
I bought my first ever pair for myself in Dec 2003 and it was love at first sight- I still can’t get rid of them though they have become fairly uncomfortable to wear for any length of time. A part of me can’t bear to part with them.
Buying a pair of shoes you fall in love with is something many don’t understand or unfortunately, don’t experience but I love it and I love adding to my collection as often as I can- I am glad I have reached a stage where each and every shoe I own is a thing of beauty and something I love wearing!
PS Happy Lohri all x
1. Future Thinking
Last week, 2 of my friends and I made a pact to try harder to achieve higher goals- professionally and personally. We are all focusing on our 12 for the year and I must admit, the possibilities excite me, leave me trying to balance nervousness with determination and make me feel so amazingly happy to be a part of this world!
2. Good Food
The last weekend has been a bit bland for my taste buds and I am made to realise how important good food is- no wonder people eat loads- the horrible flavours make you want to eat more and more and more. I like good food and am glad I can enjoy it as often as I do.
Indian weddings are famous for their dancing. Red learning to dance is amazing and I am falling in love with him even more!
1. Didn’t reach out to Tigger even when I saw something I knew she’s appreciate loads and therefore, reaffirming my self respect to self. (Also proud of myself for not discussing the issue with others last week when it came up in conversation- I just left it at a misunderstanding and that’s it!)
2. Did a fairly decent plan for 2015, needs tweaking but is well started.
3. Ate really well and exercised too. Much needed after all the festive indulgences!
Who would have thought we would come to a day where I would be the best man at your wedding?!
This is such a turn of events, such a twist and such an honour.
We don’t see eye to eye on many things, we have different opinions on what to do for certain events but the idea of organising the wine and whiskey tastings, the signing of the registry and the photographs… they make me skill when I look back to our first date and the moments we have shared.
Here’s to a fun ride ahead of us :)
Many moons ago, I went on my first alone relaxation trip!
I took myself off to a spa, to read, relax, sleep, eat, drink, lounge, get massaged and just get away from everyone in the world.
Every so often, I miss that- I miss the feeling of pure and utter bliss, the feeling of happiness, the feeling of just relaxing and then, I find those in simple things such as a good conversation, a nice bath, a warm hug.
However, Nothing beats my first weekend of indulgence away- the best treat I gave myself! :)
Here’s to a blissful, happy, relaxed 2015 x
Today, I got the news a friend of mine who I suspect I would have been close in different circumstances got engaged. Now, I must admit, I find her partner dull and a bitta cardboard for my style but it works for them and he has been amazing for her- calming her down, giving her support when she needed and just being an all round sound guy.
In the last 4 weeks, at least 10 couples I know personally have gotten engaged and about 5 couples eloped- this just got me wondering:
a. Am I at that age where the second phase of weddings have started?
b. Is it really such a cliched seasonal thing?
c. Am I just more aware of it now myself?!
If it’s ‘a’, I feel a lot older all of a sudden, ‘b’ then so be it and ‘c’, then I am worried, very worried for myself- when did I become that sort of a girl who notices engagements and weddings?!
<20 mins later>
When I dig deeper into this, I realise I have become more aware. The awareness itself doesn’t stem from envy or jealousy but from a place of contentment and a place of knowing who I genuinely want to care for.
– the contentment comes from knowing I am happy- yes, being with Red is part of it but I like to believe I would be happy irrespective and that I have in the last 18 odd months figured out more about myself, more about where I want to go and more about where I come from within
– the caring comes from having been vulnerable to others too many times, knowing I am choosing my friends now and knowing who matters to me means that when something important happens to them, I am delighted and therefore, more aware. Yes, the numbers above do include people I wouldn’t really count as my close friends but it is nice to know of the big events of their life!
So there, happy Monday or what- that’s one way to beat the blues, eh?! Cosy up, snuggle up and enjoy the love in your lives- be it a dog, a friend or most importantly, just yourself xxx
I am not much of a DIY person but being able to paint this weekend, drill a few holes when needed and other such bits is always a learning experience for me and I am glad I can learn them and perform too!
The past 2 weeks have been a good break- the way things worked out, I actually caught up on tonnes of sleep and managed to get somewhat refreshed- now for the holidays in a few weeks ;)
Ability to plan ahead is something I am proud of and planning holidays… even more so! This year is rife with weddings but to be able to make them into mini adventures is even more special! Also all sorts of other planning too- some exciting times ahead, personally and professionally.
HAPPY NEW YEAR all!!!
Isn’t 2015 already so beautiful- I love the feeling of a new year- somehow it feels like a random reason to get rid of the old and start new!
1. Had a great night on NYE and still managed to go for a walk on new years day
2. A beautiful dinner with friends
3. 3 baths in 1 week- love, love, love it!
Here’s to a fantastically beautiful year ahead all :)
Lots of love xxx
And I am back- hope you have been having a fabulous break :)
Comfortable clothes, comfortable surroundings, comfortable in your own skin and the sort of comfortable behaving that comes from love, knowing each other well and being good friends- the past few days have been aglow with a sort of light that reeks of love, happiness and comfort. To be able to feel like and even more so, realise it, is definitely something to be grateful for!
2. Good hair and skin
Over the last while, I have experimented with a lot of different products, diets etc and I seem to have found a way to keep my hair thick and full and my skin clean and glowing- exercise and diet play a hugely important part for sure but simple products like coconut oil, yoghurt, herbs etc are pretty awesome. Knowing how to use them is a definite advantage.
Christmas wouldn’t be christmas without a few days of just chilling and relaxing thrown in- we have had some epic 5 am parties in the last week but also afternoon snoozes that lasted for hours, sitting on the couch etc etc etc- yeah baby, snoozing, fires, cups of tea and just chilling are a good way to be. Boo yeah!
Today, I was thinking of different people I want to treat/ pamper/ thank if I hit certain milestones next year and how I will show them my gratitude…
It reminded me of last Christmas when I was making a puzzle for someone as a present- that puzzle took hours of hardwork- it needed me to put in a lot of work and try and make it just right- after all the real present was a voucher and it had to be further preserve with sheets of cling film/ tape/ etc to protect it. Through it all, I really enjoyed making it and I absolutely seeing the face of the recipient as they pieced it together.
I love giving and I am so very glad that I can give whatever little I do- here’s to a fantastic Christmas week ahead and I am really looking forward to even more giving. Whoop xxx
The luxury to own a car, the ability to drive, the sense to enjoy the twinkling lights to Dublin bay on a clear night, the beauty of silence or music, the joy of enjoying a moment alone.
2. Christmas celebrations
Having so many so far and having a few more ahead does mean I may not write for the rest of the year perhaps or may have the random check in only but to be able to have so many celebrations and to be invited other people’s homes and hearts is definitely a thing to be grateful for.
3. Feel good films
I love movies and sometimes, we need some feel good movies- to have enjoyed 2 excellent ones in 2 days is a definite thing of luck!
1. Had a fantastic dinner with my housemates and the new one moving in next week.
2. Spent a fabulous evening having real heart to heart with a really good friend.
3. Made huge progress in my project at work and caught up on most emails!
Dear little sis,
You are awesome. I adore you so much and am so glad that thanks to technology we are so good at keeping in touch- the silly ideas you send my way, the silly jokes we share, the plans we hatch, the fun we have- I am absolutely delighted we are the way we are! It’s good to have you by my side when we have the silly brothers that we do :)
You have grown to be such a wonderful person, still confused about everything but with a fantastic heart that is very generous and giving to all.
I am so proud to call you my sister and I am so glad we are both as excited as we are about being ‘bua’ together.
Love you loads and can’t wait to give you a hug in a few weeks time.
Yours always, with lots and lots of love and happiness,
Here’s a great set of questions I came across about getting rid of all that is in your way and your success:
– Do things not always work out for you?
– Do you get blocked or sabotaged when reaching towards a goal? Identify any patterns from the past.
– When was the last time you were upset? Why?
– Do you experience the same challenges over and over?
– Do the same things create an emotional rise for you?
I am looking forward to identifying where I stop myself- every few months I repeat such exercises and I have noticed some fairly strong patterns emerging which have then helped me distance myself from things I don’t necessarily agree with- people, habits, thoughts, words. Next stop, reducing my cursing!
Recently, I learnt a good trick to pep me up when I am beginning to dip after a high…
I think of 5 things that made me really happy in the last 24 hours:
1. Falling in love with my 3 day old brother’s kid
2. Making two MASSIVELY HUGE decisions for work
3. Identifying the director I want with me in my company
4. Celebrating good friendships over wine with two very good friends
5. Planning an animated movie Christmas night out with a friend followed by a mountain of food
6. Meeting an absolutely amazingly inspiring lady during work
How awesome a day was it?! :)
Here’s to celebrating the little things in life!
Growing up in India, Christmas was not a big deal per se- it meant the school fete, it meant a Santa in school, it meant plum cake and it meant holidays!
My first ever proper Christmas was a beautiful affair and I was absolutely showered with love by the 5 of them. The couple who took me in gave me tonnes of pressies- I got jammies, chocolate, jumpers, jacket, socks, teeshirts and so much love! It was a beautiful experience. For the first time ever, I understood the whole attraction and love of Christmas, the whole point of it, the traditions of it!
I know I will never have a Christmas like that again- it was my first, I was showered with presents, I could be myself, I was a kid and now I am an adult and the magic spell has broken! I am so lucky to have had a chance to appreciate this and have that experience. Merry Christmas all xxxx
1. Red and his support
As things have been awkward with Ryan, Tigger and me, I didn’t want to involve Red in it and asked him to make a decision for himself. He didn’t go either and I really appreciated his standing by me and instead helping me with some business plans of mine, some DIY work and some R&R time. This weekend was him doing bits and bobs for me and I felt very loved.
2. Healthy living
For the past while, I have been very conscious of what I eat and how much I exercise etc. It has been fantastic to feel the impact of it in my body and I am absolutely loving it!
With a new addition to the family, I am so glad I have the family I do!
It’s 14 years- 14 years of life without a father and I am very lucky
– very lucky to not have someone around me who would have tried to control my life
– very lucky to not be around someone with antiquated thinking, despite his intelligence
– very lucky to have so many other male role models who stepped forward
I know I am lucky but in no way does it make it easier.
There are two people you expect to always support you, to always be there, to envelop you with a bear hug, to pick you up when you are down, to unconditionally love you- your mum and dad. Every one else is someone you choose to give that power to.
I have dealt with it, I have the power to get on with life and I have overcome every situation it has placed in my path, but I miss him.
I don’t miss a father, I miss dad. And for all intents and purposes, he is dead to me but wherever he is- I wish him well, I hope he is at peace and at least, somewhere deep down he found the feeling of contentment he was looking for.
1. Shopped things I didn’t need like yet another tea light holder, a sparkly diary for myself
2. Bought my first ever Christmas tree- collecting it tomorrow- hopefully this will put me in a more festive mood
3. Made a MASSIVE headway in business!
We met and we knew we were going to be friends- surprisingly since we are very different, have different perspectives to EVERYthing, have different tastes- you are the sophisticated, smart girl and I am the simple, old man pub drinking girl yet there is something in us that draws us to each other.
I am so glad we are friends, I am so glad we connect at some level and I am so glad we have each other to throw ideas around with!
Here’s hoping you have a fab 2015 and life gets easier for you.
This is a memory that never actually happened- for some reason, I still talk of it as if it did!
Many moons ago, when I broke up with TL, I recall Ryan and me talking about some stuff. One evening, we were discussing the company and I had given a lot of advice (as we both did to each other then) on business etc. When he learnt I was not coming to visit Dublin the next month as was my original plan, he decided to come to India- the way the cheap flights worked out for him meant he would be here for my first time seeing TL since our break up and TL’s father’s birthday which I was invited to.
He arrived on a Saturday and for some reason, I claim he only decided on a Wednesday and arrived 3 days later to support me.
Today, I have good memories of that trip but I do genuinely wonder what made me make up such a story?!
1. An Understanding of Me
Last night, while I was having a conversation about my priorities and how things have changed for me in the last 5 years, I made a statement that surprised me (in a good way)- I said “When I think of me, I automatically take Red into consideration as he is a part of me”- to me, this is another step in the emotional dependence of a relationship. It scares, excites, terrifies me in a way I have never felt before and I am excited about what the future holds!
Nothing like a pair of heels to make you feel awesome about yourself and get you in the party mood.
3. Silly season
Silly season is a great way of reminding yourself how amazingly loved you truly are!