May 21 Tuesday: A Brilliant Moment

My first time traveling in a bus alone- to me, this was a HUGE deal- I was not even a teenager and I was allowed to walk the streets on my own, in the dark- all for me to be able to pursue a sport I had a little interest in and was decent enough in! I suppose if I had been brilliant, it might have made me more interested in it and though I learnt many a lesson due to that sport, got my fame due to it, got my attitude due to it, I really can’t say I have happy memories with it- especially since it made me have 36 foot surgeries!

But this is meant to be positive. This is meant to be happy and I do recall that the first time I took a public bus on my own back home, I felt elated and excited. To me, it was something different, something adult, something responsible and it spelt, my parents trusted me. The last bit meant a lot to me- it was (one of) my coming of age moments, I think.

Oh man, those buses were such a part of my childhood. Thank you DTC for never really letting me face the horrors so many others have had to!

May 20 Monday: Gratitude

1. Family
For so many reasons I am glad my family is all healthy. My younger is recovering well and my younger brother is fine after an attack in Delhi. What is my city coming to?! But despite keeping a brave face about how unaffected I am of my little baby brother, I am worried. I care. I hope he will be ok and I hope the knock will push his brains around and get him to get his act together.

2. Money is not the end all and be all
I made a mistake the other day and gave an ex-business partner some money- more than he deserved- I only copped on today. I was angry at myself first. I was angry at giving away money I could ill-afford, I was angry at giving someone money he didn’t deserve, I was angry at the unfairness of it all. Till I realised what goes around comes around- this is just a pay it forward and someday I will get it back multi-fold.

3. Vacations
i NEED a holiday- desperately. I am in the midst of making plans with 3 friends and asked 1 other but no one can go with me. I am absolutely bummed but am sure the universe has something in store for me- I am going to Cuba, I just know it. It is going to be brilliant, I know that too. I cannot wait, I even know that. I just hope I get it soon as I am a little impatient. I know a vacation is coming my way soon- very very very soon infact.

After all, it IS my time NOW and I am ready for it NOW!

The kind of Love we all aspire to…

I seem to be getting a lot of love stories these days and they are very sappy and cheesy but kinda cute….

Here’s another I like!

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman, probably in his 80′s, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.

He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, ‘And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?’

He smiled as he patted my hand and said,

‘She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.’

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought,

‘That is the kind of love I want in my life.’

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

Meeting the Parents?!

So… next month is going to be a little interesting… I know for a fact things have changed a little for Red and me but it seems, I am finally going to an event with his family. So far, I have met the friends and the sibling but this is scary and exciting.

I know for a fact that for once, my nationality will probably work in my favour rather than against! After 5 years with SL and dealing with his parents, I am tired of it all!!!!

On a different note, I am a little annoyed at one of my mates going on about another mate’s mother and her apparent issue with the non Irish! Seriously, people need to get over this and chill out.

But yeah, I know in Ireland, at least in out current “relationship situation”, meeting the parents is not a big deal but I am Indian, and to me, it is still a step in a different direction, even if its only in my head. Either which way, I am looking forward to it- they sound like a fun bunch to be around!

One day at a time….

May 17 Friday: The Week Gone By

1. A conventional cinema date with Red- so unusual for us and so cute
2. A new found energy towards one of my favourite projects
3. A deal I wanted to sign off on the terms I wanted- done!

Boom- here’s to another awesome week- have a good one yourself peeps!

May 16 Thursday: Letter

This week I am really missing my baby sister so this one is for her!

Dear baby sister,

I was the only girl in the family till you came along. I was THE happiest to have another girl- I expected you to be a tomboy like me, to be as competitive as me, to want to kick our brothers’ asses just the way I did but well, you were the girl, the quieter one, the one who did it all correct and as such, teach me more about life too and people. I cannot imagine our childhood without midnight treats watching telly, I cannot imagine our childhood without all the silliness we shared and even more I cannot imagine my trips to India every year when we go for some of our favourite icecream and talk all sorts of stuff. I wanna tell you so much, I wanna protect you so bad, I want you to be so happy but most of all, I want you to know that you are my baby sister always and I love to bits.

Love

Di

True Love… Nothing good gets away

Saw this post on facebook today, thanks to a friend- absolutely brilliant!!

Letter John Steinbeck wrote to his teenage son Thom who had just fallen in love –

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Da

Everyone needs a dad telling their son this!

Creativity….

Incase you need some inspiration on how to remain creative

See… creativity ain’t that tough

May 14 Tuesday: A Brilliant Moment

The moment I first realised I was in love- goes back to when I was a teenager. I remember being with FL and having a great time- we had bumped into each other in a night club and it was when he told me he was moving to a different city… it was one of those rare moments when both our families were in the same place and we had to act as just friends

When I learnt I was gonna have a very short time with the guy I had known since I was a kid, with the guy I had gotten to know as more than a boyfriend, I knew I felt something I had never felt before- it was not a case of feeling abandoned, of feeling I was losing anything, or any such but a feeling of serene calm knowing that together, we could face it- together, we were going to be a unit and together, we would enjoy life and face this obstacle.

FL, you know this- at least every July if not on any other day- I miss you. Thank you so much for leaving me with such beautiful memories.

May 13 Monday: Gratitude

1. Universe:
On Friday, I was really angry about something and literally 10 mins after I kinda started making peace with it, things turned- completely. So I thank myself for being able to let go, for having the sense to deal with it the way I did and for life for making it all so much better!

2. Family & Friends:
My mother hurt herself on Saturday. Reminds me once again how lucky I am.
I am very blessed to have the friends I do. VERY VERY VERY.

3. Health:
We tend to take our health so much for granted- I am definitely at fault, despite all my medical history.

I know this is becoming a repetitive weekly post but it reminds me how lucky I am every single time!

‘cos we are different

I love the fact that Red and I have such an unusual friendship- last night at 330 am, we decided to go for a walk up to Bray just to overlook Dublin and its lights. It was absolutely freezing and I was rotten cold but it was so good to just spend some time with him, have the banter, share a few laughs and talk about all the things that are happening in our lives!

And then, us being us, of course we kept talking and so ended up at his and went to bed early morning, only to wake up to go see a friend of ours do this thing called “autotest”- the test word threw me off and I had no clue why we were going to cheer a mate getting a license but went along and realised it was kinda track racing and it was great craic altogether- we saw 3 of the 12 rounds and I had had my fill- it was something different for a saturday afternoon and I am glad I went along!

Between pigs, the random banter, the unusual activities we get up to and the laughs we share, I am so glad we don’t follow the traditional route and are having an absolute blast!

 

I totes agree with this sentiment!

I would give an arm and a leg for her to hold me tight and hug me! Sigh, distance sucks.

May 10 Friday: The Week Gone By

1. Heard some awesome music over the weekend, including a trip down to the countryside for some
2. Brilliant catch up with certain friends of mine- both Monday and Wednesday
3. The chat with my younger sister today- helping her understand my business world a little more. Boo yeah!

May 9 Thursday: Letter

Dear Winnie

You are my best friend, my soul sister! You mean a lot to me. I know we have known each for almost 15 years now and I feel I can tell you anything, listen to you judge me and know you still love me unconditionally. I know you care for my opinions and my thoughts on all you do but more importantly, you care for my happiness and my well being. Knowing you are there for me gives me a strength I cannot explain. Thank you for the many laughs, the many memories, the many calories and the many hugs through my happy & sad moments. Thank you for being you.

Love,
Joy.

Upgrade yourself and the world around you!

A simple reminder- yes, a new door opens when an old one closes- keep your eyes open!

And this image says person but it holds true for everything in life- EVERYTHING. Trust me.

i AM going to cuba

Yeah I know the punctuation in that is all wrong- I have chosen to emphasise AM!

I have no clue how the money will come to me.
I have no clue how I will make it all happen.

BUT

Red, Winnie, Lady and I are going to Cuba- others are welcome to join in but the four of us are going. I have sent the intent out there, I am believing it, I am planning it, my diary has been cleared and I am going, I am going, i AM going to cuba!

My first holiday in a while- I am so very excited. I was chatting to Winnie today and she is the main reason this is happening- we were upset about the lack of holiday together- our last one was in 2009!!! She had to cancel 2010 plans cos Ryan decided to come along and she didn’t want to be with him around and we all know the disaster of 2012!

So dear world, make it happen, please. I cannot wait. I am so very happy and excited!

May 7 Tuesday: A Brilliant Moment

As a kid, I was very lucky I went to a great school- I met some amazing people through it:

- had dinner with a Nobel Laureate
- shook hands with many leaders (international and national)
- sang songs with an international country musician

And I still remember the day I was leaving school and got an award for being the most active participant, the one who tried everything, etc etc etc- it was not the trophy I took home that night that I recall the most, but the words my school principal spoke. She was always very fond of me and her words for me were definitely very personal and not written by someone else. The fact that the lady took the time to write for me a citation I still recall almost a decade and a half later means a lot to me. It still impacts me.

The power of words- never forget it!

May 6 Monday: Gratitude

1. The Universe and the Law of Attraction
I cannot get over my luck over the music I got to listen to this weekend. I am still in awe of all the talent in this world, still have goosebumps of all the amazing sounds and still skipping with happiness.

2. Friends
If it hadn’t been for my friends, I would certainly have not enjoyed this life! I am oh so blessed with the right people in my life to enjoy my fabulous fortune with!

3. Family
My sister went through a surgery last week- hopefully the last and all seems to be on the mend fine. Also, my family held a special ceremony to bless certain opportunities in my life right now- all in all, their support and love means the world to me.

Thank  you ALL for all I have, for the love I have to give, for the love I receive, for the luck I have been experiencing and for the fabulously blessed life I lead.

If music be the food of love…

… I have had the most romantic 3 days EVER!

I have been to many music festivals, I have heard lots of bands but the last 3 days have been just different… I hadn’t planned any of it, it kinda all just happened and I am on a HUGE high!!!!

I even went away for the day to see John Grant perform- it was amazing- so much more electronica than I had expected. All in all, amazing!

So today I went to the county that Red was spending his weekend in. Bumped into a lot of his friends too. He didn’t know I was there and I still haven’t informed him. I feel I shouldn’t need to- just cos we are in the same place doesn’t mean we should meet… am I weird that way?! Many of my friends think so but he had his plans and we hadn’t really been in touch… Of course I will tell him when I see him- we even put a pic on his friend’s fb just to let him know! Ah well… I am still too much on a music high to give a damn!

Ability & Trust

Since I am now in a forgiving and loving mood!

All about the Money

We all know I like some of the advice Denise gives- the other day I was reading her new book Get Rich, Lucky Bitch and her first advice was to write all the things about money that I remember since I was a kid.

This post is a rant- a ramble and probably makes no sense to anyone else but I just want to get it out of me and so here goes:

- I always remember not having enough- we were always hand to mouth it seemed
- I remember being given cash by my grandparents and being told to not spend on it on frivolous items
- I remember dad walking away with everything- money, jewellery, the effing rent too
- I remember not having enough to get an auto home when hurt
- I remember not having enough to have a drink with everyone
- I remember using money to impress people
- I remember stealing the money from my mum to impress people
- I remember asking people to pool in to buy the petrol for my car in college
- I remember feeling screwed by a certain business partner when he didn’t give me the agreed profit share
- I remember feeling screwed by a certain business partner when he didn’t buy out the agreed equity share
- I remember feeling screwed by a certain business partner when he started a business that was our idea and I was supposed to get a certain equity share that I didnt
- I remember feeling angry at the world for me not being able to buy the stuff I felt I deserved
- I remember always feeling like I was the poor cousin
- I remember always being compared to others
- I remember feeling angry when I went on holidays with a mate and he didn’t pay his share
- I remember feeling ashamed when my father made me walk away from a shop with a jumper we hadn’t paid for
- I remember feeling horrified that my brothers only hung out with me because I always had the money to buy us stuff
- I remember the days of kebabs and cakes I paid for
- I remember not drinking on nights out to save money
- I remember the days I used to sneak out at lunch to buy chocolates and call my then boyfriend
- I remember realising that some friends always take and don’t give as much
- I don’t like sharing a house so as to save money
- I don’t like not having enough to go on all the holidays I want to
- I don’t like not having a steady enough income to make me feel I can dip into my savings for a holiday
- I remember feeling ashamed about the fac that I don’t come from as much money as certain boys I have dated
- I disliked the way TL used to behave about money
- I dislike the way TL always expected me to pay
- I dislike the way certain guy is always very money aware despite the fact that he comes from money
- I dislike how my family always compare my success and achievements to money
- I absolutely ABHOR the way I have been made to feel guilty for all my travel and money I have spent on it- yes I know it cost me 2 properties/ apartments in India- so what?!
- I hated writing the cheque I wrote this week for something I don’t believe in
- I hate the way a certain sister in law made it seem she did me a monetary favour by working for my company
- I hate the fact that it causes my mother so much worry
- I hate the attitude certain members of my family have towards family
- I know I have been disowned by one side of the family but that is MY right- I don’t want it and it p!sses me off
- I dislike that I try to save on my budget every month and then don’t use the money to treat myself
-  I dislike that I feel guilty when I do treat myself
- I dislike it when I spend time worrying about money, even when I know I am on a decent salary
- I dislike wasting money
- I hate people who don’t value money
- I am angry at myself for not achieving my dreams
- I am frustrated I am not close to my dream house yet
- I am scared I will be working forever
- I hate my father for instilling me with a sense of insecurity
- I dislike that boys dumped me because my family didn’t flash enough diamonds
- I dislike that I cannot buy the diamond ring I want for myself
- I hate claiming something is not what it is
- I hate feeling guilty when I buy a pair of shoes I need just cos they are designer
- I hate feeling I have to justify every spend
- I hate not eating to save money to be able to go out (even though I have enough money!)
- I hate feeling I don’t have enough even when I do
- I hate always feeling I don’t have enough

I forgive you all. I love you all. Go in peace.

May 3 Friday: The Week Gone By

1. Amazingly lucky with music: Alt-J today and Camden Crawl this weekend with some absolutely amazing bands playing- CANNOT EFFING WAIT
2. Couple of brilliant work meetings- especially one on Wednesday and one today!
3. The banter with my housemates during the week- absolutely lucky to be living with them.
(4. Realising I have written a post every single day since April 1 this year!!!!)

Lucky, lucky me. I am loving life, have I mentioned?!

So wish I could be doing this instead

The past few days have been tough- I have been tired, cranky and sick since Thursday- I feel no better

I would do so much to switch places for this right now- oh want, NOW!

May 2 Thursday: Letter

Dear Mum’s boyfriend

I just want to take this opportunity to thank you for being such a father to me when you needn’t give a damn. Having taken on the responsibility that your best friend shirked is not expected but definitely appreciated. Your guidance, your words, your shoulder for me to cry on, your advice, your need to infuriate me every so often- each and every aspect of you is something I am glad I have every day of my life. Thank you for being so very good to my mother in my absence, thank you for being there for my family all the time and thank you for being a part of the person I am.

Love,
Joy.

Why define?!

So… Red and I have been kinda seeing each other for almost 3 months- according to everyone else we are a couple but if anyone asks us, we both deny it.

WHY?
Is it cos we are commitment phobes?
Is it cos neither of us wants to rock the boat?
OR *shock horror*
Neither of us cares to define it.

Honestly, Red and I have a laugh every time we are together, we turn to each other when we need support, we have fabulous chemistry and we are comfortable with the way things are- WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK WE NEED TO DEFINE IT?

And even more importantly- WHY DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THEY HAVE A SAY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP?!

Am I being unreasonable or just way too mature?! Hehe

Apr 30 Tuesday: A Brilliant Moment

This is one of my favourite moments in my romantic life and I see it as a theme:

When I was away with Red and a bunch of his mates a few weeks ago, I went to bed after him. I got into bed and the moment I got in, he turned towards me and pulled me in real close into one of the tightest hugs ever. THAT feeling of absolute, pure hugging made me really happy. (We know I am a hugger).

However, it reminded me of some of the more important moments of my romantic life:
FL asked me to go steady with him when he was hugging me tight
SL always used to hug me tight when he was telling me something that would invoke an extreme reaction- either good or bad
TL got the affirmative response to his constant question (will you marry me one) when he came into bed and hugged me tight and asked me then

So basically, a hug can make me irrational BUT I still love it

Its weird to see sometimes what one believed in!

Found this while clearing my laptop!

Why in the world did I ever click this is beyond me :/ Hoping all the good bits come true though hehehe!

The other thing I found is this dress- I am still loving it- someday!

and THIS i do like- great advise- rise from the ashes!

So how are you gonna rise from all that’s going wrong?!

April 29 Monday: Gratitude

This week the 3 things I have to be most grateful to:

1. The friends that give me hope when all seems dead:
The Shrew on Wednesday when tears came down in a 5 star hotel bar
Candy for the hug and the laugh when she saw the tears in my eyes on Tuesday
Harry for the hope for working out a plan for one of my companies
Lady for the surprise dinner she hosted last weekWinnie for the chats on Wednesday and the follow up call with my mum, and the loooooong chat on Friday

2. The strength within me:
When all seems dead and without hope, I know I have the courage to keep going on.
When all seems dismal, I still try my best to find the silver lining to some extent.
When I do want to be looked after, I still know how to be independent.
When someone is looking after me, I know to accept it and let the guard down.

3. My life:
For all that I am giving out about it, for everytime I raise a doubt- I am in a VERY enviable position- Tigger still looks at me as her best friend even when I can’t trust her the same way, I have a great job and am financially doing well, My companies seem to be getting some traction, My family is all doing all right, I lead a fabulous social life that is enviable by many

All in all, I am grateful for a lot of things but these would be the top 3 for me right now. I somehow suspect there will be a lot of repetition on Mondays but if it gives me the chance to stop and think and thank the world for all that surrounds me, then it is well worth it!

Doublethink

Still on about 59 seconds by Richard Wiseman- yeah, I know, this is my 3rd post and potentially not the last!

To motivate you to achieve your goal and get over the procrastination:

Define the goal
Potential benefits and setbacks:
- one word to reflect why achieving this would make life better
- one word to reflect a significant barrier in the way
- one other word to reflect why achieving this would make life better
- one other word to reflect a significant barrier in the way
Elaborate all the 4 points above

I think ideally this should be done in conjunction with the earlier exercise. Together this may be a long enough exercise to do but no point starting a journey without some planning- sometimes getting lost is fun but sometimes its good to have a plan!

Move over, visualisations

So, I am still digesting bit of this book I was raving about last week!

I do believe in the power of imaging the goal but I do agree that without the right effort alongside, there is NO way one can get to the destination. Richard Wiseman gives us a template on how to do it:

1. Define the overall goal
2. Create a step-by-step plan:
Break the goal into 5 smaller steps- they should all follow the SMART thinking and identify a reward for achieving each step
3. List 3 benefits of achieving the overall goal
4. Tell the world

Fill in this form

I want to achieve…
I will first achieve… (do this for all 5 sub goals)
I can achieve this because…
To achieve this, I need to…
I will achieve this by…
I will reward myself  by…
The 3 important benefits of achieving my overall goal are…

I know what my next few Wednesdays posts are gonna be now

I think combining this plan with the feeling of success at the very end will together allow for happiness and success in our lives but visulaising on its own may not get us the results we need- ‘cos at the end of the day, effort is needed!

Very scared…

… of Johnny Depp!

Make him manifest?!
I will take Red instead otherwise

April 26 Friday: The Week Gone By

1. The party last Friday- a brilliant night, felt so loved, so cared for and so blessed
2. The surprise dinner on Wednesday by Lady
3. Being looked after by Red last night when I felt I was about to die

Lucky lucky me. I am blessed.

Apr 25 Thursday: Letter

Dear Mother

You are the most important person to me- you mean the world to me and I know I am very important to you. For all our fights, for all our arguments, for all our disagreements, I always crave your blessing, your words, your hugs, your acceptance and your love. You may not always know how to deal with me, you may not always know how to make me laugh but you always know how to make me secure, how to make me feel special and how to make me feel loved.

I love you, Mother.

Joy.

THIS feeling..

This feeling is awesome- ‘cos you realise the power of your emotions, irrespective to anyone else’s.
It may have romantic notions attached but I think it’s a powerful statement for so many relationships- almost all my real friendships in my life have at some stage evoked such a feeling.

Such a beautiful feeling to want to spend time with someone. I like it, I like it a lot. Thank you all for envoking it in me!

Tears for no reason

Today, I came home and cried- cried for no reason, or well, no real reason.

The day started off decent, there were a few blimps along the way but nothing out of the ordinary… however, I feel so dry, so messed up, so useless, so let down, so so so teary- I JUST DON’T GET IT!

Dear World, why do I feel this way?! I didn’t even feel this despondent after the gin with Red!!!! (and we all know that is an evil depressant!)

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Gonna calm myself, imagine the future and just hopefully skip through the rest of the day!
Night!!

Apr 23 Tuesday: A brilliant moment

I have to, have to, have to go back to one of my most amazing moments:

As a kid, I was hugely into sports- not that I was great at it but it made me happy and it made me get out and meet people (I was VERY shy!). I was always an odd ball- the one with the intelligence but not the marks, the one with the skill but not the friends, the one everyone wanted as a friend but the one no one wanted to be a friend to etc etc etc.

I will never forget the moment I won my first gold medal- with a battered toe and a black eye in tow, it was just absolutely fabulous to finally get the recognition. In my own eyes, it was all I cared for.

I can’t remember who said what, who congratulated me or anything but I remember the feeling of absolute pleasure on having achieved something I really wanted to. Maybe that’s where I began to get my determination.

From now on, things I would like to do

I am reading a fab book called 59 Seconds by Richard Wiseman recently- if you haven’t come across it, you are missing out. I stumbled on it thanks to his other work that I absolutely adore- The Luck Factor.

I would like to be able to do what he tells me to- not for anything else, but because it takes a minute a day and it makes me happier- how much more of a win could it be?!

Mondays:
3 things I am grateful for in my life.

Tuesdays:
Imagine myself back in the moment of an excellent experience, a wonderful experience- re live it.

Wednesdays:
Imagine the future, what I want and feel the peace and contentment it brings me.

Thursdays:
A letter to someone to let them know why I love them and why they mean so much to me.

Fridays:
3 things that went really well for me.

Does this remind anyone else of the Weekly Achievements I used to write back in 2010?! I am hoping I will stick to this for the next while.

A random act of kindness

Last year, I tried an experiment- many of you emailed me about it- I was overwhelmed as to how many people it reached.

This year, I am gonna urge you to watch this video. Remember, what goes around comes around- it’s karma.

If we want to be the sort of people who are surrounded by other kind people, by other considerate people, by other fabulous people, we need to become one ourselves.

So peeps, stay awesome!

Much love, kindness and happiness to all.

If things were normal, life would be too boring

And this captures the current state of my love life (and every other aspect) absolutely perfectly!

I wish I knew what I want in my relationship with Red- I can’t blame him since I can’t articulate it myself yet- aaaargh! It’s such a case of the blink leading the blind!

Good rules to live by

So last night I was out celebrating life with a lot of my friends. As we all know, my life has been very blessed, surrounded with some amazing people but even then, I have made some big mistakes- mistakes that have taught me valuable lessons!

I wish I had known of these rules in the past:

(even though I do suspect I may not have appreciated these rules before I went through the experiences I have!)

So, please, peeps, do pay some heed to them- even if it’s only to a few!

Happy Life!

Never second guess who you are…

In similar vein to my post from Wednesday, I am looking for words to help me affirm my belief in self to myself- here’s another that I really like:

An off day…

Somedays, we all just wanna be left alone!

Go with the gut

You know, the other day I bared my soul open (yet again). I talked of how guilty I felt, how I second guessed myself and how I haven’t always followed my instinct!

Well, I got this sent to me on email- thank you for the beautiful words and advice!! I love it

To everyone else out there who may be wondering if they are doing the right thing, take a deep breath and remember- TRUST YOURSELF.

I called it!

I know my mates well and I know when they are gonna something quicker than they do. No wonder so many have dubbed me the Oracle in the past

I remember telling Ryan’s mum that when he met the girl he really wanted, he will marry her within the year. Check.

I also remember telling a mate that I expected Tigger & Ryan to get married in their previous holiday. Check.

I called it today as I was chatting to Red when Tigger texted and mentioned how surprised I was she had not mentioned the wedding. An hour later, the truth comes out. Check.

Go me. That’s all I am saying. Since I am not supposed to know, I cannot officially congratulate them but here’s wishing them luck and happiness! I hope they are  very happy together.

Love to all.

If only I had the same power for myself- Red may be moving away in a few week’s time… not sure how I take it, but it’s not like it’s a surprise- I just wish it wasn’t the case!

In the past year…

A lot happens in a year- I truly believe this:

This time last year, I would have counted Tigger and Ryan as two of my closest friends, Candy & I were going through our own transition, I cared a fair amount more than I do about Chammiya, I didn’t really know Lady, I hadn’t met The Shrew.

However, more than that, I think I have finally understood why I hated 2012 as much as I did.

1. Of my trilogy of “best” friends, two of them were not there for me. The rocks and support I had were moved from under me and I felt my absolute core shift and me not understand it. I have always kept myself guarded in the past ‘cos of my dad- I let it down most to certain people and two of them used it to hurt me. And boy, they hurt me- not by getting together (I couldn’t be bothered by that) but by not realising that it affected my relationships with them individually. At no point, did they try to preserve the individual friendships we had. They have truly become the couple that makes me wanna throw up- at least they are happy. And hopefully soon, they will calm down a little.

2. I felt I was more like my dad than not and I didn’t like it. I had ended my downward relationship with TL and been made to feel guilty. I ended my downward business relationship with Ryan and the guilt in me wrecked me. I felt I had walked out on 2 people who expected more from me, who wanted more from me and to whom I couldn’t give. I broke ties the way my father did. TSG was awesome in making me realise how different I really am.

3. I was with Roark this time last year and kinda hopeful about it. This year, I have been with Red for over 2 months now, we are not in a relationship and we may never have a future but I feel more safe and secure with him than I have in the longest time. He gets me. I do hope we are given a chance to figure out “us” but then again, c’est la vie.

Last year, according to many friends I was stressed, I was wound up, I was scared, I came across unhappy and I truly lacked focus. I needed the year to build myself up. This year, everyone has seen a calmer sense in me- I have accepted my faults, my weaknesses, my shortcomings. I am stronger, I am softer and I am ready for the challenge that life throws my way- I have been lucky to have found some amazing people who have stepped in and decided to help me out. I am truly blessed. I am lucky. I have a fabulous life.

I also realised I have been second guessing everything, been looking for my father’s approval, been wanting to do it right and in the process, have gone against my instinct and therefore, ended up on a longer route to where I may have been going but hey, it’s finally beginning to get there- slow and steady eh?

Cowardice…

I like this definition- came across it today on email and even though it doesn’t reflect my personal situation, I can well relate to it.

(though it goes all ways- any human doing it to any other human, it needn’t just be a man to a woman!)

As if I said these words myself, hehe

So very true.

Daddy Says

Ladies, below is a fab compilation of 20 pieces of advice a dad would like to give his daughter (s). I wish mine had, I will never believe #20- ‘cos if I do, I am doomed- it has taken me years to get over it and I don’t wanna look for a guy who will love me the way my dad does!

1) Pay attention to the way a man loves his mother. That is the way he will love you.

2) You can do anything a man can do, including organic chemistry, unclogging toilets and assembling IKEA furniture.

3) Older women wear makeup so THEY can look like YOU. Less is more. A lot less is a lot more.

4) People will judge you by the way you look. It isn’t fair, but it’s the way the world works. Keep that in mind as you pick your outfit in the morning.

5) Never let anyone do your thinking for you. There are far too many people with far too much invested in you believing what they believe.

6) Liberal arts grow your mind. Science and business keep you fed. You will need both.

7) Nothing is more attractive than intelligence.

8) Learn to drive a stick-shift.

9) Get comfortable with power tools.

10) You don’t have to enjoy them, but have a working knowledge of the rules for football and baseball.

11) Know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, and they key players in both.

12) You don’t have to *DO* anything for someone to love you. The right person will cross a desert just for the chance to sit next to you at lunch.

13) Peer pressure is all about insecurity. Be confident in who you are and you’ll never have to “fit in”. People will come to you.

14) The fastest way to strain a relationship with a man is to bring up old drama. We can’t remember to hang up the bath towel. What makes you think we remember that stupid thing we did 6 months ago?

15) If a man genuinely loves you, he will let you set the boundaries. Don’t let anyone take something from you they can’t give back. You set the tone for the sexual relationship.

16) Feminie hygiene products — Where our daughters are concerned, we would be very happy sticking our fingers in our ears and saying “lalalalalalalala”. Please respect our need to pretend they, and the reason for them, do not exist. The same goes for lacy underthings.

17) You were flawless the day you were born. If you must go get that first tattoo, please consider inviting your daddy to come and get his first tattoo with you.

18) You are perfect the way you roll out of bed. Let’s be clear: all that crap you do to “get out the door” is for everyone else’s benefit.

19) Though he may be smiling on the outside, when you leave for college your father is falling apart on the inside. Don’t forget to call him that first night to tell him you love him.

20) Compare every single boy you ever meet to your daddy. Nobody will love you like he does.

Go on ladies, embrace the real you and believe in yourself!

Die once!

Am I a cat so? I have lived alot and died a few times!

An alpha and an alpha

The other day, a mate and I were talking about relationships- we both agreed that the best/ ideal scenario is when a couple can retain their identities as individuals and form a new identity as themselves. Also, we know that it is not too idealistic a scenario as we have seen a lot of examples of such in our lives.

However, I was chatting to another mate and they commented that an Alpha and an Alpha could never gel. For obvious reasons, this got my goat! We have seen how many posts I have written about the brilliance that is the combination of these two.

And this got me thinking… so here’s what makes a good Alpha-Alpha relation work and be awesome, in my opinion. A lot of these are good relationship rules in my head but then again- I have never understood a non-Alpha-Alpha relationship so…. :

- They need to be friends first
- They need to have their own interests and know what they like or don’t
- Their relationship needs to be built on trust, loyalty, respect
- The relationship needs to be well balanced between depending and letting the other person depend
- The relationship needs to have more areas of support than of competition
- Both people need to retain their individual personalities- Goes without saying, they need to have awesome chemistry

In other words, if two strong personalities can be supportive friends and also be lovers, it could really work. Idealism or realism, I am not sure but I like to believe the latter!